Fire a slapper from his own zone at the opposing goalie.
Verbally or physically demean an opposing player in a substantial way.
Verbally or physically demean a reporter in your post-game interview in a substantial way.
Make an embarrassing dive attempt at drawing a penalty.
Get caught on camera cursing off the refs repeatedly.
Get benched for the entirety of the 3rd period.
Lose a fight.
Miss a check.
Collect your paycheck.
*Note. Jody Shelley achieves this hat trick every game except for those in which he is suspended. (aka. the best days of my life)
Interrupt JJ as he is trying to do play-by-play for an important play.
Tell a ridiculous story that has nothing to do with the game.
Have a beat red face from being sloppy drunk all game.
Assist a goal and get *****ed about on HFboards.
Save a goal and get *****ed about on HFboards.
Give up 1 turnover and get *****ed about even more on HFboards.
Tie your shoelaces without drooling on them.
Use your big body to hit someone for once.
Take a ******** penalty in a key situation.
*Note. Braydon Coburn rarely achieves this hat trick due to the immensely difficult task of tieing his shoelaces without drooling on them do to his severe case of cerebral palsy.
Make a slap pass that goes nowhere near where it was intended to go.
Completely flub a pass right to your tape while on an oddman rush then fall down for no damn reason.
Take a penalty in your own defensive zone well behind the play while your team is on an oddman rush.
Making a living out of fictionary tales and stealing people's money with lies and trickery resulting in having to defend your fictionary tales with justification of how deals fall apart and you can only report what you are "hearing" ie E-9923499274732719734234
Making a living out of fictionary tales and stealing people's money with lies and trickery resulting in having to defend your fictionary tales with justification of how deals fall apart and you can only report what you are "hearing"