1. Cut off the gas to the fireplace in the locker room. Tell them it will be turned back on once they make the playoffs, whether that's 2012, 2013, or 2020, and regardless of who is playing, coaching, or GM'ing at the time.
2. Move Stafford.
In the immortal words of George W. Bush, "fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
We can't wait for the 2014-15 season to have him stop fooling us and start trying again.