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Best Hockey Chirps

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Old
02-29-2012, 09:30 AM
  #1
macattack22
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Best Hockey Chirps

Any hockey players knows that "trash-talking" is a huge part of the game, and as a coach, some of the things i am hearing are quite humorous.

For instance: "I've seen better hands on a digital clock!!"


Share your chirps !!

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Old
02-29-2012, 09:36 AM
  #2
ProTendy29
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I've heard better chirps from a dead bird.

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Old
02-29-2012, 09:46 AM
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Droid6
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I told a guy "somebody spelled retard wrong on the back of your jersey".

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02-29-2012, 10:03 AM
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Ro Herregraven
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Butterskates!

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02-29-2012, 10:09 AM
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macattack22
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swiffer is looking for a new mascot ya duster !!

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Old
02-29-2012, 10:16 AM
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Ozz
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"You suck" always pisses people off with its simplicity.

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02-29-2012, 10:21 AM
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Tuff Gong
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Once you've potted a few ginos "I've got more goals than you've got shifts" to the duster trying to beak you.

If the refs being an idiot I'll tell him to take off his clown shoes.

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Old
02-29-2012, 10:34 AM
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Philybrook
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Droid6 View Post
I told a guy "somebody spelled retard wrong on the back of your jersey".
OMG I like this one haha...I'm not a big chirper but I'll definitely try to use this line.

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Old
02-29-2012, 10:35 AM
  #9
vapor11
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Spazway


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Old
02-29-2012, 12:49 PM
  #10
Super Dave
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I'm not big into chirps but the greatest thing along those lines to do is score and then drink out of the goalies water...just be ready to fight

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02-29-2012, 01:18 PM
  #11
Tuff Gong
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Dave View Post
I'm not big into chirps but the greatest thing along those lines to do is score and then drink out of the goalies water...just be ready to fight
Yup binder dondat. Other team was not impressed and I did not care, goalie stared at me in bewilderment.

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Old
02-29-2012, 01:22 PM
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Dutchie83
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- hey ref, does your wife you're screwing us
- hey tendy, i've seen coupons that save more than you
- hey goalie, i bet you'd be great at dodgeball
- you might want to get some windex for that windshield; it looks a little dusty

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Old
02-29-2012, 04:04 PM
  #13
Flonominal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutchie83 View Post
- hey ref, does your wife you're screwing us
- hey tendy, i've seen coupons that save more than you
- hey goalie, i bet you'd be great at dodgeball
- you might want to get some windex for that windshield; it looks a little dusty
Gongshow sure helped you on those huh?

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Old
02-29-2012, 04:05 PM
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wingedwhale
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Better be careful, your coach might find out you're out here!!

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Old
02-29-2012, 07:10 PM
  #15
Mr. Canucklehead
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozz View Post
"You suck" always pisses people off with its simplicity.
I once watched a guy lose his freaking mind because my cousin said to him while laughing: "You're a terrible hockey player."

Sometimes simplicity gets the job done better than anything, for sure.

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Old
02-29-2012, 07:21 PM
  #16
Splitbtw
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I am a player that likes to chrip, but only when the other team starts it.

Some of my favorites come on demand (as the best do), but include:

(Guy is all over the place acting ridiculous); "You're a clown. Where is your face paint, CLOWN!?"

(Guys is trying to chirp, looks at you); "You look like you're about to tell a joke, clown."

(Guy is whining about calls); "Do you want the rink to zamboni the ice with your tears? Cry about it more."

(Guy is diving); Where is your speedo? I don't see it. Do you dive withtout it?"

(Guy also diving) "Do you have a blanket? You keep trying to lay down there."

Randoms:
You're a joke (insert clown phrase)
Really? Trying to impress the fans?

The best ones come on the fly.

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Old
02-29-2012, 07:27 PM
  #17
CapsCast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Splitbtw View Post
I am a player that likes to chrip, but only when the other team starts it.

Some of my favorites come on demand (as the best do), but include:

(Guy is all over the place acting ridiculous); "You're a clown. Where is your face paint, CLOWN!?"

(Guys is trying to chirp, looks at you); "You look like you're about to tell a joke, clown."

(Guy is whining about calls); "Do you want the rink to zamboni the ice with your tears? Cry about it more."

(Guy is diving); Where is your speedo? I don't see it. Do you dive withtout it?"

(Guy also diving) "Do you have a blanket? You keep trying to lay down there."

Randoms:
You're a joke (insert clown phrase)
Really? Trying to impress the fans?

The best ones come on the fly.
I bet those jokes kill at the carnival!!

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Old
02-29-2012, 07:31 PM
  #18
hockeymass
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Is it hard to eat when you have no hands?

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Old
02-29-2012, 08:11 PM
  #19
Ozz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Canucklehead View Post
I once watched a guy lose his freaking mind because my cousin said to him while laughing: "You're a terrible hockey player."

Sometimes simplicity gets the job done better than anything, for sure.
They really do. Part of it is probably realization that they're not worth being given a clever one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Splitbtw View Post
I am a player that likes to chrip, but only when the other team starts it.

Some of my favorites come on demand (as the best do), but include:

(Guy is all over the place acting ridiculous); "You're a clown. Where is your face paint, CLOWN!?"

(Guys is trying to chirp, looks at you); "You look like you're about to tell a joke, clown."

(Guy is whining about calls); "Do you want the rink to zamboni the ice with your tears? Cry about it more."

(Guy is diving); Where is your speedo? I don't see it. Do you dive withtout it?"

(Guy also diving) "Do you have a blanket? You keep trying to lay down there."

Randoms:
You're a joke (insert clown phrase)
Really? Trying to impress the fans?

The best ones come on the fly.
ZING!

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Old
02-29-2012, 09:22 PM
  #20
Splitbtw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmt1355 View Post
I bet those jokes kill at the carnival!!
Naahhh.. but they make me laugh. Chirping isn't about who can use the most profanity, it's all about sending the zinger that leaves someone speechless. A quick wit and a vocabulary will take you far.

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Old
02-29-2012, 10:07 PM
  #21
Bruins Stooge
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To a mouthy guy on the team your playing

"Oh you're a tough guy huh? Hey guys we got a tough guy over here. Look out for the tough guy"

Always pisses them off

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Old
02-29-2012, 10:56 PM
  #22
mbhhofr
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As a referee, sometimes we can get some words in. Here's one that I used on the assistant coach of a college team. The home team had it's pep band in the stands. I was refereeing and I gave a major penalty to a home team player for checking the visiting team's goalie into the end boards and the goalie received a cut to his head. When the major was announced and I was skating back to my position for the faceoff, the assistant coach of the home team was standing on the bench, hollering at me and waving his arms all over the place. I skated over to him, looked up at him and pointing to the pep band, I said, "If you want to conduct the band, go up into the band section, otherwise get off the bench and be quiet." The players on his bench started laughing and the head coach, who was at the other end of the bench, walked over, looked up at him and told him to get down.

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Old
02-29-2012, 11:08 PM
  #23
Ozz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Splitbtw View Post
Naahhh.. but they make me laugh. Chirping isn't about who can use the most profanity, it's all about sending the zinger that leaves someone speechless. A quick wit and a vocabulary will take you far.
I'm pretty sure the other guy was saying that those are...less than funny. If someone tried them on me on the ice I'd laugh at him. The best ones do come on the fly though, I'll agree to that!

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Old
02-29-2012, 11:10 PM
  #24
adaminnj
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Hey Ref you must be pregnant. You missed to periods!

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Old
02-29-2012, 11:18 PM
  #25
Fire Julien
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Just the standard homophobic and racist slurs in my league.

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