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Best Hockey Chirps

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Old
03-03-2012, 03:47 PM
  #51
Blueland89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shawn1331 View Post
Personal favourite.

Line up as a winger on a faceoff and when your both bent over waiting for the puck look the guy dead in the eyes, say "I'm gay" and then slap his ass.

2 outcomes, he either swings a punch at you and gets a penalty, or he stands straight up in shock and misses the puckdrop allowing you to go in free. Classic.


I'm not gay.
That's what they all say

but seriously I'm going to use that

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Old
03-03-2012, 10:17 PM
  #52
Frankie Spankie
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I'm not really one to chirp with people, it's just beer leagues that I play in. We're there to have fun, not get pissed off.

Although I do love to make idiots look like idiots. I remember playing once and I was on the point for an offensive zone faceoff, playing right next to the opposing team's bench. They won the face off right to their own goalie who had to cover it up because our winger crashed the net and tried to poke it in. He didn't slash the goalie's glove or anything, just tried to stuff it in as the goalie went to cover it up. I heard somebody on their bench say, "What's the point of hacking the goalie like that? You know he has it covered." I turned around and said, "Who the hell tries to win a faceoff directly to their own goalie?" All of them just stared at me like a deer caught in the head lights and I just turned back around to get ready for the next faceoff.

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Old
03-04-2012, 06:18 PM
  #53
WithOutPaperss
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Speaking of simple chirps, I've drew numerous penalties and had a few people punch me (while having a cage on I'll add) by simply laughing and smiling at the player.

Works everytime, and it helps to laugh with a high pitch laugh

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Old
03-04-2012, 06:35 PM
  #54
radbear
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCritical View Post
To a goalie: "Gonna pop your water bottle...gonna pop it REAL good..."
...and my response would be: " With what..?! ...your VAGINA?"

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Old
03-04-2012, 06:39 PM
  #55
radbear
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After a loser scores a garbage goal and celebrates staring at me....I'd say : "Go write it in your diary..."

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Old
03-04-2012, 06:42 PM
  #56
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As a ref, my favourite towards me from a player whose team just lost:

Player: Are you gonna buy me dinner?
Me: Why would I do that?
Player: Because I like it when a guy buys me dinner after I get f***ed.

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Old
03-04-2012, 06:43 PM
  #57
radbear
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By the way...probably should have qualified the thread by saying...****if you play like crap- you probably shouldn't chirp at all.

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Old
03-04-2012, 08:05 PM
  #58
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Must be hard living with no hands..

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Old
03-04-2012, 08:29 PM
  #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by radbear View Post
...and my response would be: " With what..?! ...your VAGINA?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by radbear View Post
After a loser scores a garbage goal and celebrates staring at me....I'd say : "Go write it in your diary..."
God damn, those are hilarious.


























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Old
03-04-2012, 09:02 PM
  #60
Joey Moss
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adaminnj View Post
Hey Ref you must be pregnant. You missed to periods!
Another one for the refs..

Hey Ref, does your wife know you're ****ing us?

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Old
03-04-2012, 09:36 PM
  #61
CookieCrumbs*
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Haha some of these are so questionable. My reaction to most would be to start laughing, look at them and say "sweet chirp!".

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Old
03-04-2012, 11:05 PM
  #62
mbhhofr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joey Moss View Post
Another one for the refs..

Hey Ref, does your wife know you're ****ing us?
If you're a spectator, ok. If you're a player or someone on the bench, enjoy your penalty time.


Last edited by mbhhofr: 03-04-2012 at 11:11 PM.
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Old
03-04-2012, 11:26 PM
  #63
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....what I was often heard to say was ...after getting slashed when freezing the puck, or run after coming out to challenge..."That's ONE." No further chatter- just a long look directly at him.

I think you all know what happens at .....TWO.

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Old
03-05-2012, 05:21 AM
  #64
SCritical
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Quote:
Originally Posted by radbear View Post
...and my response would be: " With what..?! ...your VAGINA?"
I should have specified - This was said by a guy on my team to the goalie, who was his brother.
Things that do work as a female player, I’ve found include

*player trying to control his anger* “HEY! Violence against women, Australia says no!”

*when checked or slashed* “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

*being pressured in the corner or in front of the net* “Geez at least buy me a drink first!” or “oh yeah, that’s how I like it!”

*player is mouthing off* “If I wanted to hear some *****ing, I’d be playing women’s league!”

Look at the other winger at face off, wink and make handjob motions on your stick. One of two things tend to happen – he’s laughing too hard to see straight or he gets offended, straightens up and is left behind.

…yeah, I’m pretty much shameless

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Old
03-05-2012, 07:00 AM
  #65
cowboy82nd
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCritical View Post
I should have specified - This was said by a guy on my team to the goalie, who was his brother.
Things that do work as a female player, I’ve found include

*player trying to control his anger* “HEY! Violence against women, Australia says no!”

*when checked or slashed* “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

*being pressured in the corner or in front of the net* “Geez at least buy me a drink first!” or “oh yeah, that’s how I like it!”

*player is mouthing off* “If I wanted to hear some *****ing, I’d be playing women’s league!”

Look at the other winger at face off, wink and make handjob motions on your stick. One of two things tend to happen – he’s laughing too hard to see straight or he gets offended, straightens up and is left behind.

…yeah, I’m pretty much shameless
I would be laughing my a$& off too!!! That's a good one.

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Old
03-05-2012, 05:55 PM
  #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Droid6 View Post
What?! My best chirp ever was when I followed a guy around the ice the whole game reciting the Gettysburg Address and I didn't finish so then I followed him to the locker room and then his house and then the shower and then his bed and finally I made love to his wife in front of him and took another shower and left.

there's always an exception to the rule. you win.

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Old
03-05-2012, 07:27 PM
  #67
Gibsons Finest
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To a goalie: "Mix in a save", that's prob my favorite.

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Old
03-05-2012, 08:54 PM
  #68
esuhock22
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My dad can beat up your dad.

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Old
03-05-2012, 10:45 PM
  #69
fish7
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Chirping was such an important part of the game when I was younger and playing serious hockey. I was not that good at it so I just enjoyed listening to team mates who had good chirps. If I wanted to get under someones skin I would grab their stick for a few seconds away from the play and it would always draw a slash or punch.

When I was coaching high school kids from the wealthier private schools would always chirp that my players would be working for them in 10 years and one time one of my kids responded that he would be robbing the guy blind and f...ing his wife.

Now i play inline and there is next to no chirping. It is almost too polite. The best chirp I have heard was when I lining up for the opening face-off a few sessions back and a guy I do not normally play with asked me which side I wanted to play and the ref just laughed and pointed to the other team's goal and said "He will be playing that side."

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Old
03-06-2012, 01:28 AM
  #70
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Outside of the guy that said the usual homophobic and racist slurs, this thread should be titled three pages of the absolute dumbest, corniest ****ing chirps ever assembled. Please.

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Old
03-06-2012, 04:55 AM
  #71
Propane Nightmares
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Dave View Post
I'm not big into chirps but the greatest thing along those lines to do is score and then drink out of the goalies water...just be ready to fight
One of my teammates once took the goalie's bottle and squirted water at them

It's been said a million times but the worst NHL chirp ever was Hartnell: "**** you Del Zotto, I don't even know your name"

My all time favourite is when a player is shouting something along the lines of "Come on boys lets go!" to rally the team, and then you say "Go where?" so simple but so effective


Last edited by Propane Nightmares: 03-06-2012 at 05:07 AM.
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Old
03-06-2012, 05:38 AM
  #72
damacumich
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This is pretty much the only guide you need.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0E78zK4bzM


Last edited by damacumich: 03-06-2012 at 05:48 AM.
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Old
03-06-2012, 08:15 AM
  #73
Ro Herregraven
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True story from the early nineties about Players X and Y, both top line forwards at the time. I have removed their names to protect the innocent.

Player/a-hole X played for our team for a couple of seasons, met a local girl, got her pregnant with a baby girl, then left her to play for another team in the league.

A few years later, our team was playing the team player X was now playing for.
Our player/classy guy Y had started a serious relationship with said girl and together they were raising her daughter as his own.

Our player Y had a small passport picture of the little girl taped into his stick, not far above the blade.

Player X and Player Y line up for the opening face-off, and Player X notices the picture of his own daughter on the stick of Player Y.

Player Y: "hot stuff eh? After the game I'm gonna nail her".

Player X never made a decent move that entire game.

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Old
03-06-2012, 10:40 AM
  #74
Droid6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro Herregraven View Post
Player Y: "hot stuff eh? After the game I'm gonna nail her".
So his chirp was telling a guy he was going to **** his kid after the game? Gross.

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Old
03-06-2012, 11:17 AM
  #75
Ro Herregraven
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Originally Posted by Droid6 View Post
So his chirp was telling a guy he was going to **** his kid after the game? Gross.
Hey, the goal of a chirp is to put your opponent off-balance. It obviously worked. And when it comes from someone who is being a great father to a kid that isn't even his own, directed at the dead beat dad of the same kid, I think it's priceless.

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