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Best Hockey Chirps

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Old
03-06-2012, 10:48 AM
  #76
Ozz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro Herregraven View Post
Hey, the goal of a chirp is to put your opponent off-balance. It obviously worked. And when it comes from someone who is being a great father to a kid that isn't even his own, directed at the dead beat dad of the same kid, I think it's priceless.
Depends on the age of the kid. I imagined a child based on the how your story read

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Old
03-06-2012, 10:52 AM
  #77
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Originally Posted by CookieCrumbs View Post
Haha some of these are so questionable. My reaction to most would be to start laughing, look at them and say "sweet chirp!".
At best.

Laughing at someone is the best way to get to them. This is of course used as someone trying to "chirp" you.

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Old
03-08-2012, 03:49 AM
  #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by radbear View Post
I also like " Hey, shoot the next one with your purse!"

This will also get you[goalie] sent to the dressing room. The next time some forward gives you a snow-shower and a scrum insues...throw a tampon or feminine pad, that you tucked in behind your goalie pad, on the ice behind the idiot and say "Hey...you dropped something...!"
to which I would reply, "I knew you played goalie so you could wear pads but I didn't know you needed a tampon inside your pad too"

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Old
03-08-2012, 04:38 AM
  #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rinkrat22 View Post
who are you, ****ing Terrell Owens?
Best post in this thread by far. Some of these chirps are plain awful, you come up with chirps on the ice, you don't prepare them in advance.

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Old
03-08-2012, 11:01 AM
  #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReaallMunson18 View Post
At best.

Laughing at someone is the best way to get to them. This is of course used as someone trying to "chirp" you.
this is true, I just got a guy kicked out in my last game by doing this. he starts going after one of my guys, I dont like that so I come over and start telling him that he is a good hockey player and his mother is a very nice lady. so later he blatantly hits me and goes to the box, I smile and wave, then he completely loses it and hits me open-ice the next shift (two strike intentional body check policy in my league) so he gets tossed, i just laugh and wave, tell him that I'll miss him ... my team scored on the powerplay and I put in an empty netter to sweeten the deal

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Old
03-08-2012, 12:35 PM
  #81
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Last night I told a really old guy in my league that his goal wasn't fair because he invented hockey.

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Old
03-08-2012, 12:59 PM
  #82
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Originally Posted by Droid6 View Post
Last night I told a really old guy in my league that his goal wasn't fair because he invented hockey.
This is the only post in here that made me crack a smile.

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Old
03-08-2012, 01:12 PM
  #83
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MNA0_n32Hc

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Old
03-08-2012, 08:04 PM
  #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wingedwhale View Post
Better be careful, your coach might find out you're out here!!
One of the better ones.

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Old
03-08-2012, 08:40 PM
  #85
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your like the titanic! you look good until you hit the ice

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Old
03-08-2012, 08:43 PM
  #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Droid6 View Post
Last night I told a really old guy in my league that his goal wasn't fair because he invented hockey.
That is awesome I would have laughed my ass off if someone said that to me. I am one of the oldest guys in my league and I even look older than i really am. I always make sure to take off my helmet after games so the youngsters can see just how old I am. My elbow pads are older than half the guys I play against

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Old
03-09-2012, 10:01 AM
  #87
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Last game a guy comes up to me and says "I'm a professional boxer"

I said "not on skates your are"

Both entire benches erupted, guy was a total meat head and goon so it made it that much sweeter, especially cause I'm about 4 inches shorter and 80 pounds smaller than he is.

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Old
03-19-2012, 05:00 PM
  #88
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chirp to a small guy..

'i pack bigger lips then you bud'

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Old
03-19-2012, 06:14 PM
  #89
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Most of the chirps in here are premeditated garbage. Best way to chirp is to pick one player and spend the whole game chirping everything he does. Just simple stuff like everytime they take a shot, sarcastically yell "holy **** what a shot!!!". Do the same for every pass, dangle, hit, block, and anything else you can point out. By halfway through the game they'll be so annoyed and insecure about everything they'll starting gripping the stick way too hard, thus rendered useless.

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Old
03-19-2012, 09:26 PM
  #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hecantscorefromthere View Post
Most of the chirps in here are premeditated garbage. Best way to chirp is to pick one player and spend the whole game chirping everything he does. Just simple stuff like everytime they take a shot, sarcastically yell "holy **** what a shot!!!". Do the same for every pass, dangle, hit, block, and anything else you can point out. By halfway through the game they'll be so annoyed and insecure about everything they'll starting gripping the stick way too hard, thus rendered useless.
I agree if you have to plan it out you're no good at it anyway.

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Old
03-20-2012, 12:10 AM
  #91
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I don't chirp or try to show off my clever-ness... I just try to set up plays and score goals, which is the best "comeback" to an egotistical ass yapping his mouth off. I even hate the word "chirp" and all that stereotypical hockey lingo. It's cheesy lol.

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Old
03-20-2012, 01:50 AM
  #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wreckless View Post
chirp to a small guy..

'i pack bigger lips then you bud'
lol, people try to chirp me for being small all the time...doesn't work, I know I'm small, how would that throw me off my game?

Plus it would be hard for me to hear it as I fly by you

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:06 AM
  #93
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My Favorite,
"Hey goalie, you're gunna get a tan from that red light going off so much."

The rest involve words that don't belong here.

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Old
03-20-2012, 05:30 AM
  #94
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I don't think anyone here is premeditating chirps, I certainly wasn't. That's like saying you know what's going to happen in the game in advance. I thought we were just listing what we'd used in certain situations. You wouldn't be using these every game, that would defeat the purpose.

The best chirps, imo, are those that get the biggest reactions. If you're rolling your eyes at my lame line, you probably haven't got your mind on the game.

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Old
03-20-2012, 09:54 AM
  #95
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i had a game the other night and the opposing team had 3 girls on it. i was out there with, lets just say "sub-par" linemates, so i was pretty annoyed already at this point. going around the net to get to a loose puck, i cut too hard, lost an edge, fell, and took one of the girls out. she was probably one of the better players on the team, let alone the other girls. she landed right on my head, and was INCREDIBLY apologetic. the ONLY thing that came to mind wasnt "its alright" or something like that. i turned to her and said "its cool. its been a while since a girl sat on my face."

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:04 PM
  #96
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I've mentioned this one here before but in an intramural game (we weren't very good) an opposing player is chirping one of our guys on the faceoff saying "If you guys had a team it would be a joke" implying that we were so bad we can't even be called a team. Our guy's retort was "oh yeah, if you had a penis it would be a joke"

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:12 PM
  #97
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Another one, was when I was coaching a women's team and the ref came by our bench and was making a joke about their sweaters stinking so much and out of the blue this (hetero) woman on our team shouts at him "oh yeah? I wore it last night when I ********d your wife and I didn't hear any complaints!"

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:21 PM
  #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCritical View Post
I don't think anyone here is premeditating chirps, I certainly wasn't. That's like saying you know what's going to happen in the game in advance. I thought we were just listing what we'd used in certain situations. You wouldn't be using these every game, that would defeat the purpose.

The best chirps, imo, are those that get the biggest reactions. If you're rolling your eyes at my lame line, you probably haven't got your mind on the game.
go back and read some of the posts, there were a few "premediated" chirps in this thread. someone said hide a tampoon in your gear to throw at a player, I mean, really? thats pretty ****ed up.

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:22 PM
  #99
rinkrat22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuckss View Post
Another one, was when I was coaching a women's team and the ref came by our bench and was making a joke about their sweaters stinking so much and out of the blue this (hetero) woman on our team shouts at him "oh yeah? I wore it last night when I ********d your wife and I didn't hear any complaints!"
now that **** is funny

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Old
03-20-2012, 02:33 PM
  #100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacko23 View Post
i had a game the other night and the opposing team had 3 girls on it. i was out there with, lets just say "sub-par" linemates, so i was pretty annoyed already at this point. going around the net to get to a loose puck, i cut too hard, lost an edge, fell, and took one of the girls out. she was probably one of the better players on the team, let alone the other girls. she landed right on my head, and was INCREDIBLY apologetic. the ONLY thing that came to mind wasnt "its alright" or something like that. i turned to her and said "its cool. its been a while since a girl sat on my face."
Hilarious! I would have laughed my *** off if some dude said that to me. Haha!

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