I have:
Extremely good vision, if your stick is on the ice I will get you the puck no matter what. My specialty is dat backhand sauce, and I can't remember the last time a pass got intercepted. Some say I'm like Gretzky but a lot better.
My hands are amazing. I can pull off toe drags and spin o ramas like no other, and I literally have the puck on a string at all times. I mesmerize the defense with my skills, and jock straps usually scatter the ice after the game. I like to think I'm a better version of Datsyuk.
My hitting is superb as well. I can knock down anyone as long as their under 9 feet tall and 350 pounds. I command respect in front of the net, and I've never lost a fight. I would say I'm as strong as Chara but fight like Laraque.
My hand eye is not too shabby. I can deflect any shot, doesn't matter how fast it is going. I'm like Ryan Smyth, but better looking, cleaner hair, and 10 times the deflection skill.
I can pick all the corners with my wrist shot, it goes about 99 mph on average, and my release is lightning quick. Half the time goalies don't even react, cause I'm dat swfit. I'm like a Semin/Sakic hybrid, and that's being modest.
I have a cannon of a slap shot, I've spent over 4000 dollars on nets because I always rip through the mesh. I once knocked out a goalie with my one timer. It clocked in at 322 mph, and I have yet to miss the net.
My speed is NASCAR worthy. I have insane balance too so I don't Taylor Hall all over the place, and my acceleration can be summed up by Rihanna's quote "0 to 60 in 3.5." I can beat anyone in a foot race, and I explode like a rocket when the puck is loose. I'm about as fast as a fighter jet.
My defensive positioning is elite. I never lose my man in coverage, and dekes are a no go with me. I can block any shot, stick lift with ease, poke check like a boss, and my gap control is out of this world. Some say that I have the defensive prowess of Datsyuk, Toews, Bergeron, and Hossa combined. Plus a little more.
Who am I guys?
In all seriousness though, Ian White is the first player that comes to mind to me. Give us your name, maybe one day you'll make the NHL and we can say we met you on an online forum!
I have:
Extremely good vision, if your stick is on the ice I will get you the puck no matter what. My specialty is dat backhand sauce, and I can't remember the last time a pass got intercepted. Some say I'm like Gretzky but a lot better.
My hands are amazing. I can pull off toe drags and spin o ramas like no other, and I literally have the puck on a string at all times. I mesmerize the defense with my skills, and jock straps usually scatter the ice after the game. I like to think I'm a better version of Datsyuk.
My hitting is superb as well. I can knock down anyone as long as their under 9 feet tall and 350 pounds. I command respect in front of the net, and I've never lost a fight. I would say I'm as strong as Chara but fight like Laraque.
My hand eye is not too shabby. I can deflect any shot, doesn't matter how fast it is going. I'm like Ryan Smyth, but better looking, cleaner hair, and 10 times the deflection skill.
I can pick all the corners with my wrist shot, it goes about 99 mph on average, and my release is lightning quick. Half the time goalies don't even react, cause I'm dat swfit. I'm like a Semin/Sakic hybrid, and that's being modest.
I have a cannon of a slap shot, I've spent over 4000 dollars on nets because I always rip through the mesh. I once knocked out a goalie with my one timer. It clocked in at 322 mph, and I have yet to miss the net.
My speed is NASCAR worthy. I have insane balance too so I don't Taylor Hall all over the place, and my acceleration can be summed up by Rihanna's quote "0 to 60 in 3.5." I can beat anyone in a foot race, and I explode like a rocket when the puck is loose. I'm about as fast as a fighter jet.
My defensive positioning is elite. I never lose my man in coverage, and dekes are a no go with me. I can block any shot, stick lift with ease, poke check like a boss, and my gap control is out of this world. Some say that I have the defensive prowess of Datsyuk, Toews, Bergeron, and Hossa combined. Plus a little more.
Who am I guys?
In all seriousness though, Ian White is the first player that comes to mind to me. Give us your name, maybe one day you'll make the NHL and we can say we met you on an online forum!
I have:
Extremely good vision, if your stick is on the ice I will get you the puck no matter what. My specialty is dat backhand sauce, and I can't remember the last time a pass got intercepted. Some say I'm like Gretzky but a lot better.
My hands are amazing. I can pull off toe drags and spin o ramas like no other, and I literally have the puck on a string at all times. I mesmerize the defense with my skills, and jock straps usually scatter the ice after the game. I like to think I'm a better version of Datsyuk.
My hitting is superb as well. I can knock down anyone as long as their under 9 feet tall and 350 pounds. I command respect in front of the net, and I've never lost a fight. I would say I'm as strong as Chara but fight like Laraque.
My hand eye is not too shabby. I can deflect any shot, doesn't matter how fast it is going. I'm like Ryan Smyth, but better looking, cleaner hair, and 10 times the deflection skill.
I can pick all the corners with my wrist shot, it goes about 99 mph on average, and my release is lightning quick. Half the time goalies don't even react, cause I'm dat swfit. I'm like a Semin/Sakic hybrid, and that's being modest.
I have a cannon of a slap shot, I've spent over 4000 dollars on nets because I always rip through the mesh. I once knocked out a goalie with my one timer. It clocked in at 322 mph, and I have yet to miss the net.
My speed is NASCAR worthy. I have insane balance too so I don't Taylor Hall all over the place, and my acceleration can be summed up by Rihanna's quote "0 to 60 in 3.5." I can beat anyone in a foot race, and I explode like a rocket when the puck is loose. I'm about as fast as a fighter jet.
My defensive positioning is elite. I never lose my man in coverage, and dekes are a no go with me. I can block any shot, stick lift with ease, poke check like a boss, and my gap control is out of this world. Some say that I have the defensive prowess of Datsyuk, Toews, Bergeron, and Hossa combined. Plus a little more.
Who am I guys?
In all seriousness though, Ian White is the first player that comes to mind to me. Give us your name, maybe one day you'll make the NHL and we can say we met you on an online forum!
The best part of this is that "Taylor Hall" is now a verb. Awesome.
I have:
Extremely good vision, if your stick is on the ice I will get you the puck no matter what. My specialty is dat backhand sauce, and I can't remember the last time a pass got intercepted. Some say I'm like Gretzky but a lot better.
My hands are amazing. I can pull off toe drags and spin o ramas like no other, and I literally have the puck on a string at all times. I mesmerize the defense with my skills, and jock straps usually scatter the ice after the game. I like to think I'm a better version of Datsyuk.
My hitting is superb as well. I can knock down anyone as long as their under 9 feet tall and 350 pounds. I command respect in front of the net, and I've never lost a fight. I would say I'm as strong as Chara but fight like Laraque.
My hand eye is not too shabby. I can deflect any shot, doesn't matter how fast it is going. I'm like Ryan Smyth, but better looking, cleaner hair, and 10 times the deflection skill.
I can pick all the corners with my wrist shot, it goes about 99 mph on average, and my release is lightning quick. Half the time goalies don't even react, cause I'm dat swfit. I'm like a Semin/Sakic hybrid, and that's being modest.
I have a cannon of a slap shot, I've spent over 4000 dollars on nets because I always rip through the mesh. I once knocked out a goalie with my one timer. It clocked in at 322 mph, and I have yet to miss the net.
My speed is NASCAR worthy. I have insane balance too so I don't Taylor Hall all over the place, and my acceleration can be summed up by Rihanna's quote "0 to 60 in 3.5." I can beat anyone in a foot race, and I explode like a rocket when the puck is loose. I'm about as fast as a fighter jet.
My defensive positioning is elite. I never lose my man in coverage, and dekes are a no go with me. I can block any shot, stick lift with ease, poke check like a boss, and my gap control is out of this world. Some say that I have the defensive prowess of Datsyuk, Toews, Bergeron, and Hossa combined. Plus a little more.
Who am I guys?
In all seriousness though, Ian White is the first player that comes to mind to me. Give us your name, maybe one day you'll make the NHL and we can say we met you on an online forum!
You played high school hockey outside of Minnesota and were barely ppg switching back and forth from fwd and D. Based on this information I can safely assume that you are a more offensively and defensively gifted Martin Skoula.
You played high school hockey outside of Minnesota and were barely ppg switching back and forth from fwd and D. Based on this information I can safely assume that you are a more offensively and defensively gifted Martin Skoula.
We need to know more about his poise with the puck.
lol i like to think of me as a patrick kane type player. smallish, good vision, never backchecks and makes fun of other players who do something stupid on the ice
Or that guy I play beer league with I think his name is sam he is half drunk and pukes after every game. The jerk that steals my smokes at the rink.
