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Old
08-17-2012, 10:12 AM
  #976
Afino
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I'm going to use that as a pickup line.

"Are you normal?"

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08-17-2012, 10:16 AM
  #977
HockeyH3aven
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"Do you have any infectious disease I need to know about?"

This really reels them in. Not only do you show that you care for their well being, you're also thoughtful and forward thinking.

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08-17-2012, 10:17 AM
  #978
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I have a few single girlfriends your age. Are you normal?
PK, you just got me laughing.... on an international conference call. There is no laughing emoticon big enough for that comment.

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08-17-2012, 10:21 AM
  #979
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So, what's for lunch today? I'm starving.

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08-17-2012, 10:21 AM
  #980
Penalty Killa
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PK, you just got me laughing.... on an international conference call. There is no laughing emoticon big enough for that comment.
You have to be careful of the hockey internet guy. I've heard getting with them can be trouble.

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08-17-2012, 10:22 AM
  #981
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You have to be careful of the hockey internet guy. I've heard getting with them can be trouble.
As a friend with plenty of hockey internet guy friends, I can confirm.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:25 AM
  #982
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I am eating dinosaur-shaped pasta with olive oil, carrots, and zucchini.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:28 AM
  #983
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Or if FB fails....

Drive over to the guy's house the day they get back from vacation. Lure him outside and crack him over the knees with a bat. Proceed to curb stomp his face.

As he's lying lying there in a pool of blood, teeth fragments scattered about, explain to his wife who is now crying hysterically ("what have you done!") that she's nasty, a lousy wife, and a horrible mother.

Then turn you attention to little Johnnie and little Suzie, standing in the doorway, overcome with terror. Crouch down and with a little smile, patiently explain that their daddy is a home wrecker, how he no longer loves mommy or them, and to understand that there's a good chance they're both adopted. Grab little Suzie's juice box, slup it down, toss it aside, and make your way to the car.

A couple donuts on the front lawn, a crushed mailbox and flower bed later, you're work here is now finished. Drive off into the sunset with middle finger firmly extended out the window.

I know, I know, totally inappropriate. But a scorned husband can still dream, right?

Besides, I got anger issues. This is just how my brain works in the heat of the moment.
You forgot the oodles of money you will now shell out to him after he sues you and you're in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:30 AM
  #984
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TakeThatTootoo View Post
You forgot the oodles of money you will now shell out to him after he sues you and you're in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.
Dead people can't sue. But their families can.

You know what you have to do.

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08-17-2012, 10:31 AM
  #985
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TakeThatTootoo View Post
You forgot the oodles of money you will now shell out to him after he sues you and you're in prison for assault with a deadly weapon.
And you forgot ... This is the interwebs, land of fantasy, conjecture, and tough talk.


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Old
08-17-2012, 10:36 AM
  #986
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Let's close this, I have errands to run, K?

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:41 AM
  #987
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Originally Posted by Penalty Killa View Post
I have a few single girlfriends your age. Are you normal?
I guess that would require a definition of 'normal'.

I dunno. Never been arrested. Own my own home. No illegitimate kids or STDs.*

*That I'm aware of.

That should qualify I'd assume.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:42 AM
  #988
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But are you crazy?

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:43 AM
  #989
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Total hotty sitting in the waiting area in the audi showroom, I now have several errands I must do that involve me waking through there.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:43 AM
  #990
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yay! more porn ads above the reply box!

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:44 AM
  #991
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that brony's a playa

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:47 AM
  #992
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You know they're lurking.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:47 AM
  #993
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yay! more porn ads above the reply box!
Seriously? :\

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:47 AM
  #994
Penalty Killa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beechsack View Post
I guess that would require a definition of 'normal'.

I dunno. Never been arrested. Own my own home. No illegitimate kids or STDs.*

*That I'm aware of.

That should qualify I'd assume.
So, you're not sure if you have kids or STDs....hmm. I may reconsider sharing my gorgeous gfs with you after all.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
  #995
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Originally Posted by TakeThatTootoo View Post
Seriously? :\
second time today. this time it was two chicks in bikinis undressing each other.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
  #996
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I'm due for something big.

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
  #997
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Test

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
  #998
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what's this?

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:48 AM
  #999
slip
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Rats!

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Old
08-17-2012, 10:49 AM
  #1000
Afino
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Mobile fail

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