Alright, RWO, what makes you think you should be in a match against a vet like topshelf? . Crawl your way back to the bottom and stay there. I don't like the Revolution, but some greeny isn't just gonna challenge one of myclowns to a street fight. Y'now what? I'll take you on, you hairy louse.
RWO vs. SF
30 Minute Iron-Man Match
Hey now, quit insulting clowns like that, or I will scare about a 1,000 of you by posting my own clown photos. )
Astraphobia Catalyst enters the arena and a reporter immediately rushes over to get an interview.
Reporter: AC can I get your thoughts on tonight's match.
AC: It is quite simple, tonight Marf learns the difference between fighting relatively good wrestlers like Fro and Modo and wrestling a legend like me.
Reporter: You will have OmniSlash with you at ringside and Marf will have IRep. How does that effect the match?
AC: Yeah I heard IRep is will be by Marfs side in our match tonight. But has anyone even seen or heard from him since they won the tag titles? It would be terrible if he no showed. Just wondering cause Marf will need all the help he can get.
Reporter: Right now you and OmniSlash are scheduled to face the tag Champions at the next PPV. How does winning this match give you momentum going into that match?
AC: Once again it is simple. Tonight is just a microcosm of what will happen at the next PPV. All the HFWF needs to know is I am Astraphobia Catalyst and I am one half of the next Tag Team Champions.
AC starts to walk away as the reporter gives the signal to the cameraman to cut the feed. Just before it goes blank the reporter is seen getting a Flash Kick.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the shortest weekly episonic television show in history: SNS! We have a great card tonight, including a championship on a pole match! Let's get started!
The Revolution walk down the ramp, all wearing jeans, shirts, can casual wear. They all circle the ring and slide under the ropes. CPrice throws the announcer out the ring and takes his mic.
Submitted by CPrice
CPrice walks around the ring as his music stops and the fans start a HUGE "YOU SUCK!" chant as CPrice looks into the crowd and nods along with the chant before he bursts.
CPrice: Yeah, I suck... THAT'S WHY YOU'RE BEHIND THE BARRICADE PAYING FOR TICKETS TO SEE ME!
The fans boo as they continue a "YOU SUCK!" chant while CPrice stands in the center of the ring and soaks it in. After a few moments, the fans start to die down and allow CPrice to speak.
CPrice: You may have noticed I'm out here by myself and not with The Revolution tonight. See The Revolution has their own business to handle. StraightEdge is the HFWF World Champion, Omni and AC are going after the tag champs and topshelf is in the hunt for the Canadian Championship, and I'm doing my own thing. I have ONE problem and I told The Revolution I don't need their help tonight with this, and that problem is CrimsonSkorpion.
The fans go insane at the mention of CrimsonSkorpion. CPrice has a sarcastic, smug look on his face as he expects that reaction.
CPrice: You just love the heroes don't you. The liars that put false hope in all of you, and CrimsonSkorpion being the most guilty of this. See he takes to twitter and talks about a "Doomed Revolution", yet we're standing tall in the HFWF. We have the World Championship and we took it from CrimsonSkorpion, and hell, just last week, we beat CrimsonSkorpion and his little buddy to within an inch of their lives. We brutalized them, we bloodied them, and we taught them a lesson not to mess with The Revolution.
The fans boo as the fans start a "p-ssy" chant towards CPrice, who looks surprised at the chant.
CPrice: I'm a p-ssy? Really? You people don't even belong in a room with me, you should all go back to your mother's basements where you dwell at night and wonder why you're 35 year old virgins and still have acne all over your greasy faces.
The fans boo even more as CPrice puts a cocky smirk on his face.
CPrice: See CrimsonSkorpion, THESE ARE YOUR FANS. No respect for a true talent like myself. Your fans are a bunch of vulgar, immature losers who the closest they'll ever get to being with a girl is going to prom with their cousin!
The heat is deafening as CPrice soaks in all the heat.
CPrice: But see I'm not here to talk about you people, quite frankly I've given you idiots more attention than you deserve. My problem is with the biggest idiot in the back, and that's CrimsonSkorpion. He talks about a doomed revolution and how I'm not a real man, well CrimsonSkorpion, if you're a man, you'll come into this ring right now and face me like a man, a man you claim to be!
The fans pop in anticipation of seeing CrimsonSkorpion. After a few moments of making CPrice wait...
"Crimson Thunder" hits to a DEFEANING pop! The roof blows off the arena as CrimsonSkorpion slowly walks out, walking with a limp and a bandage covering almost his entire forehead. CrimsonSkorpion is also holding his ribs as he walks down with a limp. CrimsonSkorpion has a mic in hand and stops on the bottom of the ramp as CPrice is in the ring and telling CrimsonSkorpion to get in the ring.
CPrice: I thought you're a man, Crimson!?
The fans boo as CrimsonSkorpion smirks.
CrimsonSkorpion: I am a man, but I'm not a stupid man, Price. I won't lie, what you did to me last week, no one has ever done before to me. But let's make one thing very clear, it took you and four other guys to put me in this state. And here's another fact for you... you made a BIG mistake, because I'm still standing.
The fans go insane as CrimsonSkorpion starts walking towards the steel steps and slowly climbs them with a limp.
CrimsonSkorpion: I'm banged up, but make no mistake about it, 100% healthy, CPrice, one on one, I'd beat you down, and I'd hurt you.
CPrice: Then come in the ring, tough guy! Let's go!
CrimsonSkorpion: Like I said, I'm not a stupid man, Price.
CPrice: I tend to disagree, but I have something you may like, and I think all these idiots in the crowd will like it too, and if you're half the man you think you are, you'll accept it!
The fans boo mildly as CPrice pauses and smirks.
CPrice: A highly anticipated battle, one on one, CrimsonSkorpion vs. CPrice at REDEMPTION (next HFWF PPV, maybe? Your call SheamusFan, don't include these brackets when you post the promo - this is just for you to decide, if not, change the PPV name to what it will be called).
The fans go insane as CrimsonSkorpion looks a little uneasy.
CrimsonSkorpion: Last time we were scheduled to face off one on one, you low blowed me and had your cronies run in.
CPrice: In our match at Redemption, if you accept, IF ANYONE from The Revolution gets involved, I will see to it that they lose their spot in The Revolution and have a permanent spot in the hospital!
The fans go insane as CrimsonSkorpion nods...
CrimsonSkorpion: YOU'RE ON!
The fans go insane as CPrice smirks and nods. CPrice starts laughing maniacally as CrimsonSkorpion looks confused. Suddenly, the fans boo RELENTLESSLY as CPrice looks to the top of the stage.
The camera shows OmniSlash, Astraphobia Catalyst, Topshelf and the HFWF World Champion, StraightEdge standing on the top of the stage with smug smirks on their face. CrimsonSkorpion looks down to the floor as he realizes he's fallen into The Revolution's trap. The Revolution start approaching the ring as CrimsonSkorpion enters the ring but also stares down CPrice, who throws his leather jacket out of the ring and stands in the corner, goading CrimsonSkorpion. The fans continue to boo as The Revolution surround the ring, not allowed CrimsonSkorpion to run anywhere.
Announcer: THESE SONS OF *****ES! IT WAS ALL A SETUP!
The boos suddenly turn into a HUGE pop as...
COLEPENS RUNS DOWN TO THE RING! The fans go insane as ColePens JUMPS StraightEdge from behind! OmniSlash, Astraphobia Catalyst and Topshelf all get involved and jump ColePens and beat him down! In the ring, CPrice and CrimsonSkorpion are exchanging huge blows! CPrice backs CrimsonSkorpion in to the corner and approaches him, but FROM SHADES OF LAST WEEK, CRIMSONSKORPION TURNS THE TIDE AND LOW BLOWS CPRICE! The fans go insane! OmniSlash allows AC and Topshelf to continue the beatdown on ColePens as Omni enters the ring and starts brawling with CrimsonSkorpion as CPrice screams in pain holding his groin. Omni gets the best of CrimsonSkorpion has lays hard rights into the ribs of CrimsonSkorpion, causing CrimsonSkorpion to scream in agony with every blow. AC, Topshelf and StraightEdge force ColePens into the ring. StraightEdge tells AC and Topshelf to hold up ColePens and StraightEdge holds the HFWF World Championship in ColePens' face and taunts him. StraightEdge is about to hit him in the face with the championship but...
but the fans POP AGAIN! The camera shows MARF AND iREP running down to the ring! The fans go insane as Marf and iRep enter the ring! Marf jumps OmniSlash and after they exchange blows, Marf dodges it and spears OmniSlash out of the ring! Astraphobia Catalyst runs to iRep along the ropes and iRep GIVES ASTRAPHOBIA CATALYST A BACK BODY DROP, OVER THE TOP ROPE AND AC LANDS ON OMNISLASH! The fans go insane as Topshelf pleads with iRep and Marf. iRep and Marf look at each other, shrug and both kick Topshelf in the face! The fans go insane as iRep lays into Topshelf with hard rights and lefts as Topshelf rolls over and tries to crawl out of the ring, but Marf runs at him and KICKS TOPSHELF IN THE GUT! Topshelf topples out over the bottom rope and crashes hard on the floor beside OmniSlash and Astraphobia Catalyst.
Suddenly, iRep and Marf turn around and see ColePens and CrimsonSkorpion on their feet. They stare each other down... AND THEY'RE ALL SURROUNDING THE HFWF WORLD CHAMPION, STRAIGHTEDGE! The fans go insane as CrimsonSkorpion picks up StraightEdge's World Championship and looks at it. The fans are going bat**** insane as CrimsonSkorpion hands the championship to ColePens and Crimson tells ColePens to hit StraightEdge in the face! The fans are going insane as CPrice, OmniSlash, Astraphobia Catalyst and Topshelf just get on their feet on the outside and are watching this! CPrice jumps on the apron but CrimsonSkorpion charges at CPrice, and CPrice quickly jumps off before Crimson can make contact with CPrice.
CPrice is screaming in the ring at CrimsonSkorpion, ColePens, iRep and Marf, shouting at the top of this lungs "DON'T DO IT! YOU'LL REGRET IT YOU SONS OF *****ES!" The fans go insane as StraightEdge slowly gets to his feet, and looks at iRep. StraightEdge pleads with iRep as iRep NAILS StraightEdge in the head with a hard right! StraightEdge staggers towards CrimsonSkorpion and CRIMSONSKORPION nails StraightEdge in the head with a hard right! StraightEdge staggers to Marf who WINDS UP BY SWINGING HIS ARM LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO THROW A PIE, the fans make the "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound as Marf winds up, and then Marf NAILS StraightEdge in the face with a HARD right as the fans go insane! StraightEdge staggers to the middle of the four as he staggers with his back turned towards the final guy who hasn't hit him yet. StraightEdge staggers some more before regaining balance, turning around...
AND COLEPENS NAILS STRAIGHTEDGE IN THE FACE WITH THE HFWF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! The fans blow the roof off the arena as ColePens smirks while looking down at StraightEdge's downed body in the middle of the ring. ColePens then looks at the HFWF World Championship. He looks as CrimsonSkorpion, iRep and Marf and all four of them join hands and raise each other's hands in the air, as ColePens remains with the HFWF World Championship in his hand and puts his foot over StraightEdge's chest as all four men stare down the rest of The Revolution who are standing on the ramp, bleeding slightly. ColePens tosses the title on SE's broken body, and all four pose. Look's like the Revolution's got some competition!
Thank you CPrice!
Marf w/iRep vs. AC w/OmniSlash
AC and Marf start off in the ring, and they hook up. Marf stomps and Ac's foot, and a cry of pain is heard throughout the arena. The crowd cringes as AC shoves Marf away, and slaps him stiffly. Marf is dazed, and AC locks the sleeper hold. Marf struggles to get out, but squirms away. He runs to the ropes, and executes a swinging neck-breaker. He ascends the top rope, hoping to finish it early, but AC jumps on the turnbuckle, and superplexes Marf to the center of the ring. Marf holds his waist and AC puts him in a Boston Crab. Marf crawls desperately to the ropes, but AC doesn't let go. He pulls back with all his might! 1, 2, 3, 4, fi--AC releases the hold just in the nick of time. He smiles smugly and raises his arm, and the boos grow louder. He turn around, but spears him between the ropes and outside the ring! Both men are down as they enter commercials.
We're back and Marf his giving heavy lefts and right to AC in the corner. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! The crowd chants "Marf". And Ac drops the to the floor and Marf grips his arm back. iRep cheers his buddy on, but OmniSlash hits him from behind with a pipe! THere's nothing the ref can do. Marf leaves the rings and decks OmniSlash! Satisfied, he enters the ring and gets CAUGHT BY A FLASH KICK! 1, 2, 3! AC wins! He scrambles out the ring and he and his partner leave the ramp with arms raised. That 1 for the Revolution, 1 for iMarf!
We're in the ring, and for some terrible reason, the Canadian Crippler found a mic.
CC: I AM CANADIAN CRIPPLER! I EAT EVERBODY! ICICLE, I CHALLENGE YOU TO MATCH NEXT WEEK! I HATE ICICLE! I HATE! I HATE! I HATE ICICLE! I HATE! I HATE!
The Canadian Crippler then throws his mic to the crowd, and it knocks out a poor old granny. The crowd is horrified, booing him into oblivion. The Cippler merely laughs, and throws the announcer into the crowd.
RWO vs. TopShelf w/ an injured StraightEdge
The bells ring and the match is about to start. RWO charges at TopShelf, but he evades it and sends him to the turnbuckle! What a green mistake! This kid's a fool! RWO, holding his shoulder, walks into TopShelf's heavy right, and he goes down. He get's up, and another right takes him down. Once again! TopShelf picks him up, and samoan drops his. The kid's got no chance! 1, 2, kick out! Frustrated, TopShelf climbs the top rope! The kid's gonna get squashed! TopShelf connects a frog splash, leaving RWO winded. TopShelf picks him up, and takes him for an electric chair drop. It's over! 1, 2, NO! Stay down kid, stay down! Furious, Topshelf raises him to his feet. He picks him up for a powerbomb! I guess we won't be seeing RWO for a long time. Wait! The kid counters with a head scissors! I thought he was dazed! TopShelf slams his hid against the iron post! He's out cold! The ref tends to him, AND SE ENTERS THE RING! He kicks the poor kid in the back of the head! RWO falls with a dull thud, and TopShelf turns him over for the cover! Do I even need to count? TopSheld gets the victory, and the poor kid despite having heart, is no match for the Revolution.
On the titantron, you see a video. A cold, windy desert is seen. On the screen, the words "Challenge Accepted" appear. Icicle is coming next week.
BFC vs. NYGRYK vs. Jussi in a Contract on a Pole Match
The three men start off! NYRGRYK and Jussi simultaneously give heavy rights on both sides of BFC's head. He drops like a stone and is discarded from the ring. Jussi and NYRGRYK have a nice back and forth for a few minutes. Jussi delivers heavy punches, and NYGRYK stumbes to the ropes. BAM! BAM! Jussi puts a lot of weight on his fists! One more swing and NYGRYK falls to the ground. Jussi sets him up for the Finnish Dynamite, but NYGRYK sweeps his leg, and Jussi's head lands hard on the canvas. NYGRYK jumps to the top rope and lands a moonsault! 1, 2, kick out! Jussi gets up, and catches his rival by surprise with a slap to the face. He sprints to the rope, and hits the Juicy Rebound! He's about to cover him, when BFC RUNS IN AND HITS CAT-SCRATCH FEVER! Jussi face is planted to the ground, and BFC pulls NYGRYK's body over Jussi's and COVERS THEM BOTH! THAT ARROGANT SNAKE, HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS! 1, 2, 3! BFC cackles happily and slides out the ring! If you ask me, it's about time Jussi and NYRGRYK beats that pig senseless!
The Revolution's music hits, they enter the ring, and assemble in the ring. StraightEdge doesn't appear to be with them, probably because he's tending to his injuries. CPrice holds the mic, and the crowd doesn't even boo, no, the Revolution doesn't deserve that. The rant, they rave and they curse at the bandits in the ring!
CPrice: Manners manners, people! Don't patronize us! All we want to say is this: Don't expect the Revolution to go away. I don't care whether or not some pie-eating jobber and his green partner join up with Purple Mediocrity and The Pink Arachnid! We can just as easily wipe the floor with their bodies as well as rule this company. We don't want to know if-
*CUT TO TITANTRON
Look! Look! It's CS! It's CP! It's iMarf! And who's that? Is that RWO? What are they doing?
ColePens: Ah, the Revolution. Surprised to see the Purple Perfect himself with all of these fine conbatants? We have a little surprise for you. CS?
CrimsonSkorpian: You see, we're tired of being exploited by a band of jackals and cowards. We felt that we needed to take action. Which is why we have with us the team of iMarf and the young RWO. You see, you made a fatal mistake, Revolution. You left one of your gang behind, backstage and unguarded. Of course, we needed to take advantage of that.
The camera zooms out to reveal StraightEdge's unconcious body and title over it. The Revolution looks livid.
CrimsonSkorpian: You know what we're going to do? We'll make you taste your own bitter medicine. We're gonna run. Yes. RWO, if you will?
RWO picks up the belt from StraightEdge and tosses it to CimrsonSkorpian.
ColePens: We'll be seeing you around gents.
All of them walk casually to the Revolution's limo. They all enter it, with the HFWF World Championsip with them, and Marf takes the wheel. The rubber burns as they race away into the night.
CPrice, OmniSlash, AC and TopSheld scream at the titantron, but it's too late. RWO, iRep, Marf, CS and ColePens are long gone, treasuring their new, stolen prize. The camera fades away.