14 years isn't really that much of an age difference, and I'm sure you don't look a day over 28, you never know man, some chicks might like older dudes, a lot of my girl friends my age are like that. So it's worth a shot, and if it fails, at least you tried.
Thanks for the support man. If I see her in the next three weeks again I'll see what kinda nerve I can spark!
Originally Posted by JCresty
Are you trying to get with her for a night or two or for a few years? If it's the latter, then there's no need to tell her your real age if you think that will turn away opportunities. You can if you want. Lying about age isn't really a bad thing in my books. If it only serves to kill potential enjoyment of each other's company, then why be truthful? I'm not really a moral compass guy but age is not that big of a deal tbh.
Well I'm certainly not into one night stands, or things like that. My heart is really into someone else right now who's in California that I cannot be with right now. This girl(Bridget, not the California one) has a kid though. Like a baby, but I don't believe she's with the father anymore. Kinda hope she's not one of those looking to latch onto an older guy for those purposes.
Well I don't frequent this thread often but I will offer my two cents here as well. I've eyed this girl I work with for a year and a half. She was in a relationship with some frat dbag. They finally ended it, so I didn't pounce I played it cool. I asked if she wanted to be my date at a wedding she surprisingly said yes. We had a great time. A few weeks later she was transferring in the hospital, so at this point I said I need to take my shot. I'd rather get rejected than always asking what if. She said she wasn't interested in dating right now but wanted to remain friends. Fine whatever, I really cared for this girl and my heart was ripped out but at the end of the day I have no regret.
TCRF (is it the girl we tried to track on Facebook? I thought we had found her), and newcomer Devils fan (why would you make such a terrible life decision, and become a Devs fan? )... If you guys ever DO get your dream girls, don't be stupid. Keep her. I've found, in my 22 years on this earth, that regrets are the hardest thing to live with. I don't care if I went for something and failed, I care if I never tried. Some people say "well, it's never too late." But that's wrong. In some cases it most certainly can be too late.
I tend not to post in our OT thread very often, but... I feel like weighing in a little bit here.
Fear of rejection is, in my opinion, one of the most irrationally crippling phobias one can experience. It literally prevents you from acting on your instinct and desire, for fear of a different outcome from the one you're hoping for and at the same time, twists the reality of those undesirable outcomes into visions of something much, much worse. We imagine rejection as being horrible, humiliating and unbearable. And then it turns out to just be a bit embarrassing and, in many ways, a lot healthier and better for you (heart and mind) than sitting around feeling anxious about whether or not to ask someone out in the first place.
That twisted up, undecided "should I or shouldn't I?" that guys sometimes deal with for weeks, months or maybe years, fretting over a girl is an unnecessary, uncomfortable, unhealthy way of life. Rejection frees you. You bite the bullet, take a deep breath and go for it; she either says yes, or (99% of the time) politely lets you down. Either way, you're free from your anxiety. Trust me, I have spent significantly more time in my life dealing with the anxiety of wanting to ask a girl out but not knowing how to approach it, and wondering "what if" than I have feeling sorry after getting rejected.
Somehow, after the rejection, the "what if" has been answered, the hard part (mustering the courage to ask her) has already been handled, and the feelings that follow are never as terrible as you expect them to be. In fact, usually, you get over it quite quickly. It's not like you got dumped by someone you devoted months or years of your life to and were in love with. Your fear of rejection has nothing to do with a broken heart; it has to do with embarrassment. You're afraid of that awkward moment where she says no and you're still standing in front of her trying to shake it off without looking like a baby.
The best thing about being embarrassed though, is you realize that, most of the time you shake it off pretty easily. And each time you do, you get better at it. I mean think about it; if you're a normal guy, you've embarrassed yourself dozens of times in front of friends and family and you've either laughed it off almost immediately, or were later able to look back and laugh. The only reason you're afraid of the embarrassment of rejection is because you're not asking out your friends and family (one would hope); you're asking out a person who, comparatively, is a stranger. Just do it. Embrace the possibility of rejection. Get rejected 100 times. The more times you get rejected, the higher the odds of the next one saying yes become. The more often you simply go for it, and embrace the possibility of rejection, the easier it becomes to keep going for it without worrying about this silly rejection business. You'll realize that it's really not that bad.
I'm 26. I've asked out a lot of girls. I've been rejected a lot. I also have been with a lot of girls at this point and dated a few great women, the most recent of whom I will probably ask to marry me when I get my self sorted financially. For years I suffered through the anxiety of waiting and hoping for the "opportune moment" to ask girls out. I was terrified of rejection. I was also terrified of things like dancing in public (embarrassing). Somewhere between 18 and 22 I just decided, **** it. I started asking girls out a lot more frequently. I started dancing at the bar (we're not talking Michael Jackson here, but girls would rather go with the guy who looks willing than the guy who stands in the corner surrounded by his male friends all night). I started hitting the gym, hard (I'd been lifting for a while, but I was "shy" with it, in that I wouldn't push myself too hard because I didn't want to look stupid when I was younger). I started raising my hand in class a lot (used to ONLY speak when called on). I started holding on to the puck more at practice, and eventually in games and rush it myself instead of just sticking to my role as a checking forward. Guess what?
I found out that I dance as well as any white guy who can't dance. I bulk up pretty easily and fitness and lifting are now a huge part of my life. My suspicion that, even though I didn't want to speak out in class before, I was usually one of the smartest people there was confirmed when the professor's started asking my opinion during each lesson. My junior year of college hockey was something of a "break out" for me and I went from scoring like 2 goals and 5 points a year to scoring like 13 goals and 25 points for the rest of my college career. And I got girls to go out with me just as often as I got rejected.
Basically, what I'm saying is, put yourself out there until you become immune to embarrassment. Get outside your comfort zone. I have a little brother who is in college now and since he's been 16 he's complained to me about not getting girls and how they're just not into him. I told him this past summer "listen you're 21, you're in great shape, you're funny, you dress well... you have to put yourself out there more; you have to go outside of your comfort zone and it will happen". He's having the best semester of his life, never comes home on the weekends because he's too busy having a crazy social life and texts me every weekend about his exploits and shenanigans. Nothing is going to come to you. The opportune moment you're waiting for rarely presents itself. You have to go for it. It won't hurt, I promise.
Last edited by Ollie Queen: 11-29-2012 at 10:03 AM.
If you're starving as in literally hungry, then go to Rachels in the commons and get a chicken slouvaki wrap, if not for you, then at least for me .
If you're starving for female company, then I'd suggest just asking the girl for a cup of coffee at Tim Horton's one day? Or to lunch? Or to the movies? Or to dinner? Or just sit next to her in class and chat her up and see what her deal is?
Maybe she has a LinkedIn or a Twitter? I'd recommend in person stalking/communicating over cyber stalking/communicating however