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General OT Thread #24: Here's Looking At You, Boogey

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:33 AM
  #51
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Ha.. I just re-read through the thread.. the guy didn't even ask for advice and we're just tossing it out like we're experts.

In any case, never be afraid to ask your significant other if he or she still loves you more than once a day. Sometimes it's best to back them into a corner outright and just tell them that they don't love you anymore.

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11-30-2012, 10:36 AM
  #52
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Ha.. I just re-read through the thread.. the guy didn't even ask for advice and we're just tossing it out like we're experts.

In any case, never be afraid to ask your significant other if he or she still loves you more than once a day. Sometimes it's best to back them into a corner outright and just tell them that they don't love you anymore.
Also, make sure to leave your stash of Arsenic powder, Rohypnol, and maps to secluded locations in a spot which "looks" like you are trying to hide it, but yet plainly able to be found...

After she calls you on it, deny anything out of the ordinary and then come home the next day with a chainsaw.

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:37 AM
  #53
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Complete with very detailed schedules, including where they get their cars maintained, and the names of the techs that work on their cars.

Also, keep a matrix of the techs habits and mark the ones that have drug problems...
Exactly. Bozak gets it. Girls love a guy who is organized enough to keep lists. Lord knows they're so disorganized that they can hardly find matching shoes. Make sure to tell them that.

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11-30-2012, 10:42 AM
  #54
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Wow!

Why didn't anyone tell me all this when I was younger! And before I....




...got married.

Is it too late?

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11-30-2012, 10:43 AM
  #55
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Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
Complete with very detailed schedules, including where they get their cars maintained, and the names of the techs that work on their cars.

Also, keep a matrix of the techs habits and mark the ones that have drug problems...
Oh that reminds me of my ex.

Me: "You're running around with that guy. You told me you were doing something else then posted pictures of yourself with him wearing the same clothes you were wearing this morning...then changed for some reason before you got home."

Her: "You're going crazy."

Me: "I guess..."



(six months later, I get definitive proof she was running around with him and a few weeks ago she just had his baby)


Remember folks, just because you're not paranoid DOES NOT mean there isn't a conspiracy

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11-30-2012, 10:45 AM
  #56
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Wow!

Why didn't anyone tell me all this when I was younger! And before I....

...got married.

Is it too late?
It's never too late! Women love spontaneity!

Surprise her with drastic mood-swings, yelling, and questioning of her every action!

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:46 AM
  #57
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*gets paranoid about not being paranoid*

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:46 AM
  #58
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Remember folks, just because you're not paranoid DOES NOT mean there isn't a conspiracy
Just stick it to her by becoming a highly sought after and highly compensated BI Reporting expert... When you show up to pick up your kid in a brand new Porsche Cayenne S, she'll know... oh... she'll know...

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11-30-2012, 10:47 AM
  #59
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Living well is the best revenge.

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:49 AM
  #60
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Living well is the best revenge.
Said the man with a can full of gas and a handful of matches.

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Old
11-30-2012, 10:49 AM
  #61
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Originally Posted by WiFi75 View Post
Wow!

Why didn't anyone tell me all this when I was younger! And before I....




...got married.

Is it too late?
No. It is never too late...

Bring home a complete bondage harness that is three sizes too small for her. Tuck it under the bed with the contents barely, yet clearly, visible. When she finds it, look sheepish and say; "I thought we'd try something new..." and then, when she is trying to put something on, yell; "THOSE AREN'T FOR YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

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11-30-2012, 10:50 AM
  #62
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*gets paranoid about not being paranoid*
Was thinking the same thing.

"What if my girlfriend is sneakier than I give her credit for?"

*tinfoil hat*

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11-30-2012, 10:57 AM
  #63
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"What if my girlfriend is sneakier than I give her credit for?"

*tinfoil hat*
Just figure out how to track her phone's GPS. When she is in a location that is not her job or her home, send her a text asking; "Y R U THERE?"

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11-30-2012, 11:04 AM
  #64
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OMG.

Just happened to me! She rang me, she said they're in a grocery store with kids and she's could bring a couple of beers for me.. and do I want anything else? How can I be so blind! All these years!!!

Hah, groceries! She must taken the kids somewhere else to play and tells them the not talk to daddy about this!! She must be somewhere cheating on me!!? With my friends perhaps?!! And then she's just going get the kids and grab a couple of beers from a gas station on a way home!!! And comes home like nothing ever happened!

Let's see Mrs MY Wife!! Let's see if I'm going to I swallow your bitter beer and filthy lies!!


Am I doing it right?

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:04 AM
  #65
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Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
Just figure out how to track her phone's GPS. When she is in a location that is not her job or her home, send her a text asking; "Y R U THERE?"
No no no. You're doing it wrong. Track the phone - yes, get the proof - sure, if you consider that to be important. Don't let her know your suspicions are up.

Sit in a dark room with no lights on and a cocktail of your choice and await her arrival, like in the movies. Calmly say, "I'm going to give you one chance to tell me exactly where you have been. I pray that you don't lie to me."



"Now please.. Sit. Darling."

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:06 AM
  #66
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She must be somewhere cheating on me!!? With my friends perhaps?!!
Yup. All of 'em.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:08 AM
  #67
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It's best to assume them all. Better safe than sorry.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:13 AM
  #68
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That's true. I've also heard the number one thing that women find attractive is a similar sense of humor.
Confidence. Ladies love confidence. Humor is a second.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:16 AM
  #69
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Confidence. Ladies love confidence. Humor is a second.
Nah, ladies love big egos and arrogance. And an innate sense of entitlement. Fine line between that and confidence.

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11-30-2012, 11:17 AM
  #70
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Yup. All of 'em.
Already texted my entire phone book: Was it only you or all of you together? I know everything.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:21 AM
  #71
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Already texted my entire phone book: Was it only you or all of you together? I know everything.
It's a start. But real bosses don't say they know everything after asking if it was just one person or everyone. Even if the man doesn't know the answer, he doesn't simply ask. He demands information and most importantly, cooperation -- but doesn't tip his hand of ignorance in the process.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:22 AM
  #72
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I feel like a newborn. That I didn't know anything before and reading these last pages has been my rebirth.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:23 AM
  #73
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I feel like a newborn. That I didn't know anything before and reading these last pages has been my rebirth.

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:24 AM
  #74
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Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
Also, make sure to leave your stash of Arsenic powder, Rohypnol, and maps to secluded locations in a spot which "looks" like you are trying to hide it, but yet plainly able to be found...

After she calls you on it, deny anything out of the ordinary and then come home the next day with a chainsaw.
Is it wrong I didn't even bat an eye at the idea of Bozak having a stash of Rohypnol just lying around?

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Old
11-30-2012, 11:26 AM
  #75
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Nah. Bozak seems legit like that.

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