Quote:
Originally Posted by IHaveNoCreativity
Lmao I've never laughed so hard in my life...
In all seriousness though, the last 2 girls I went after I wanted cause I thought they'd be easy and I'd get laid... Didn't work so well... One I screwed up with and the other had a million issues and wound up in love with me...
Not what I wanted... I geuss you can say I know what I want I just don't know how to get it, and I don't balance... It's one extreme or the other...
But seriously, seems like a lot to worry about when you're only 18...
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My advice? Ignore it. Ignore all females, other than the occasional
"hello". Concentrate on what's important, and I assume it's your studies. Do well, but don't look too nerdy. That means don't be to eager to answer to questions in class, and don't put "too much" effort into your homework. Just be casually good. Eventually, you'll have a group assignment. Do well, but don't do too well. Do your part, and just a little extra, so your team notices your effort and make a note of you as a "team player". Don't talk too much. Answer if they ask you anything, and perhaps make a funny remark, but
be very careful when doing so. Seriously. Wait for your opportunity. If you start swinging them too often, first one or two might be funny but the rest just make you a class clown. I know from experience, a long time ago, but still. Be confident. Stand by your opinions, don't give in but don't be too rude. Assume that you are correct, because you are. Don't be too bossy, because you are not in position to boss anyone around. That's arrogance, and that's a good way to ruin your reputation. Know your value, and your position. If someone asks you to do something, your response depends on three things:
a) Gender
b) Popularity of the person
c) Amount of witnesses
I may need to elaborate, so I will. IF she is female, and free, don't be too nice immediately. Don't do what she asks for you to do, unless it's something like "hey, can you pass me that pen please?" or something along those lines. Also, take note on how the question is worded. If she's asking you to "gimme that pen", don't. Make sure people notice that you don't appreciate or deserve to be treated like ****. If she's an obnoxious ****, like most females of your age
citation needed, she'll ask again, something like "hey, are you deaf or something?". Respond with "Deaf to your behavior, yes." or "Ask nicer." She'll most likely come back with a sarcastic tone, something like "Can I pleeeeease have that pen" or "Would you awfully mind giving me that pen, please?" Ignore the sarcasm, give it to her while adding something like "Yep, that's better". She'll most likely do the eye roll and complains to her friends about it. Ignore it, at least they know you now, and they know that you don't have any interest to be nice to them.
However, if she's a female and taken, be nicer to her. Why? Because she is taken, and you know it (make sure she has told it to you or that it's common knowledge so you don't seem like a stalker), your aim is to
befriend her, not to impress her. Talking to a woman living in a relationship also gives you a great insight of how a relationship, difference between singles and couples, and also - and this is important -
gives you a chance to ask her for advice. You'll get very valuable insight and information from her that none of us will be able to provide.
If she's a he, is the guy your friend? If yes, of course you help him. He's your friend. If he's not your friend, what's your relation? Fair-weather friends? Acquaintance? Do you know each other? If he's a fair-weather friend, avoid him like cancer. You may help him, but do so carefully and only if it requires very little or no effort. You want to stay away from those types. If he's an acquaintance, is he a popular dude, or a "loner", or something in between? You want to get to know the "popular" guys, because you'll eventually be one of them, if you do it right. First rule:
Don't admire them. They may have their own cars, nice chicks or solid abs. Who cares? They rolled a six at birth. Be fair to them, but don't act too friendly. Help if it requires only some effort, like going to close the door. If he thanks, say something like "sure man", or similar. Don't call him "bro", you don't warrant that yet. If he's an unknown, give the dude a hand. You'll gain an acquaintance, and you lose nothing, because nobody will think it's strange.
I'm sure you've got your own style, so as long as that style is not "dork", I won't get into dressing or clothes.
Have confidence in yourself. Every morning, look at the mirror and say "I'm the man. I've got this, because I'm good". No matter how silly it sounds, it works.
Be patient. You don't want to rush into, well, anything, apart from a loose puck. You'll grow your rep eventually, and people know you as the "decent dude", and chicks take no real note of you. However, that's better than "the loner", "the clown" or "the dork". Or "the suspected criminal", for that matter.
Regarding humor, be natural. Have a joke or two ready, but don't tell 'em, unless the situation warrants. There is no real sure-fire trick for this, really. Self-depreciating humor is fun with dudes, but doesn't work around females, really, unless you live in a romantic comedy, which you don't. If you do something awesome or even great, don't be surprised. Act like you expected it. That's the greatest way to show confidence.
You know, I was never really popular at school or anything. I was usually the bullied kid when I was younger, the class clown/the loner at 16-18 and in Kotka, I was actually fairly known but also often taken advantage of because I was older. My problem is that I either try too hard to be funny (and often hit the mark nowadays, but that's not important) or I'm just plain rude/make too harsh of a joke/remark. I also may or may not have ADD, but that's not important nor an excuse. I'm 20, unemployed, started evening studies so I can hopefully become an abitur in two years. I don't really have any gf prospects, I'm almost always broke and I live on benefits. I have a couple of friends but I mainly spend my time on HF, reddit or playing NHL 13. I'm fat, not especially clever or smart, I've got (still) a hair-trigger temper, I'm not talented and I procrastinate too much. I make stupid financial decisions, I smoke and I've got ****ing dandruff. I'm violent due to my protective instincts, I've got two cars (the other's gone and I have no means to repair the other one), I'm too cynical and I can't keep my mouth shut about politics or my opinions when I really should.
What I'm trying to say is that
don't become me. If I had a time machine, I'd grab myself from the neck and tell this to my stupid self so I wouldn't make the same ****ing mistakes that are still haunting me.
Now I need a smoke. Don't **** this up, lad.
