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Old
11-30-2012, 02:33 PM
  #101
tomgilbertfan
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Therapists are awesome.

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11-30-2012, 02:35 PM
  #102
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Therapists helped me out greatly too. Didn't take long. Maybe 2-3 sessions with one to realize I should focus on college full time instead of pursuing a "career" in retail, and another 2-3 sessions with another to help my panic disorder.

There was the couples therapist who told me my ex was causing pretty much all the problems in our relationship then divulged that she had been lying to me about attending sessions as well. NAILED IT.

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11-30-2012, 02:38 PM
  #103
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Therapists are ****ing useless.

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11-30-2012, 02:38 PM
  #104
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Originally Posted by Maxwell Goldshadow View Post
My advice? Ignore it. Ignore all females, other than the occasional "hello". Concentrate on what's important, and I assume it's your studies. Do well, but don't look too nerdy. That means don't be to eager to answer to questions in class, and don't put "too much" effort into your homework. Just be casually good. Eventually, you'll have a group assignment. Do well, but don't do too well. Do your part, and just a little extra, so your team notices your effort and make a note of you as a "team player". Don't talk too much. Answer if they ask you anything, and perhaps make a funny remark, but be very careful when doing so. Seriously. Wait for your opportunity. If you start swinging them too often, first one or two might be funny but the rest just make you a class clown. I know from experience, a long time ago, but still. Be confident. Stand by your opinions, don't give in but don't be too rude. Assume that you are correct, because you are. Don't be too bossy, because you are not in position to boss anyone around. That's arrogance, and that's a good way to ruin your reputation. Know your value, and your position. If someone asks you to do something, your response depends on three things:

a) Gender
b) Popularity of the person
c) Amount of witnesses

I may need to elaborate, so I will. IF she is female, and free, don't be too nice immediately. Don't do what she asks for you to do, unless it's something like "hey, can you pass me that pen please?" or something along those lines. Also, take note on how the question is worded. If she's asking you to "gimme that pen", don't. Make sure people notice that you don't appreciate or deserve to be treated like ****. If she's an obnoxious ****, like most females of your agecitation needed, she'll ask again, something like "hey, are you deaf or something?". Respond with "Deaf to your behavior, yes." or "Ask nicer." She'll most likely come back with a sarcastic tone, something like "Can I pleeeeease have that pen" or "Would you awfully mind giving me that pen, please?" Ignore the sarcasm, give it to her while adding something like "Yep, that's better". She'll most likely do the eye roll and complains to her friends about it. Ignore it, at least they know you now, and they know that you don't have any interest to be nice to them.

However, if she's a female and taken, be nicer to her. Why? Because she is taken, and you know it (make sure she has told it to you or that it's common knowledge so you don't seem like a stalker), your aim is to befriend her, not to impress her. Talking to a woman living in a relationship also gives you a great insight of how a relationship, difference between singles and couples, and also - and this is important - gives you a chance to ask her for advice. You'll get very valuable insight and information from her that none of us will be able to provide.

If she's a he, is the guy your friend? If yes, of course you help him. He's your friend. If he's not your friend, what's your relation? Fair-weather friends? Acquaintance? Do you know each other? If he's a fair-weather friend, avoid him like cancer. You may help him, but do so carefully and only if it requires very little or no effort. You want to stay away from those types. If he's an acquaintance, is he a popular dude, or a "loner", or something in between? You want to get to know the "popular" guys, because you'll eventually be one of them, if you do it right. First rule: Don't admire them. They may have their own cars, nice chicks or solid abs. Who cares? They rolled a six at birth. Be fair to them, but don't act too friendly. Help if it requires only some effort, like going to close the door. If he thanks, say something like "sure man", or similar. Don't call him "bro", you don't warrant that yet. If he's an unknown, give the dude a hand. You'll gain an acquaintance, and you lose nothing, because nobody will think it's strange.

I'm sure you've got your own style, so as long as that style is not "dork", I won't get into dressing or clothes.

Have confidence in yourself. Every morning, look at the mirror and say "I'm the man. I've got this, because I'm good". No matter how silly it sounds, it works.

Be patient. You don't want to rush into, well, anything, apart from a loose puck. You'll grow your rep eventually, and people know you as the "decent dude", and chicks take no real note of you. However, that's better than "the loner", "the clown" or "the dork". Or "the suspected criminal", for that matter.

Regarding humor, be natural. Have a joke or two ready, but don't tell 'em, unless the situation warrants. There is no real sure-fire trick for this, really. Self-depreciating humor is fun with dudes, but doesn't work around females, really, unless you live in a romantic comedy, which you don't. If you do something awesome or even great, don't be surprised. Act like you expected it. That's the greatest way to show confidence.



You know, I was never really popular at school or anything. I was usually the bullied kid when I was younger, the class clown/the loner at 16-18 and in Kotka, I was actually fairly known but also often taken advantage of because I was older. My problem is that I either try too hard to be funny (and often hit the mark nowadays, but that's not important) or I'm just plain rude/make too harsh of a joke/remark. I also may or may not have ADD, but that's not important nor an excuse. I'm 20, unemployed, started evening studies so I can hopefully become an abitur in two years. I don't really have any gf prospects, I'm almost always broke and I live on benefits. I have a couple of friends but I mainly spend my time on HF, ****** or playing NHL 13. I'm fat, not especially clever or smart, I've got (still) a hair-trigger temper, I'm not talented and I procrastinate too much. I make stupid financial decisions, I smoke and I've got ****ing dandruff. I'm violent due to my protective instincts, I've got two cars (the other's gone and I have no means to repair the other one), I'm too cynical and I can't keep my mouth shut about politics or my opinions when I really should.

What I'm trying to say is that don't become me. If I had a time machine, I'd grab myself from the neck and tell this to my stupid self so I wouldn't make the same ****ing mistakes that are still haunting me.

Now I need a smoke. Don't **** this up, lad.
Thanks for the advice, you defined how I was in High School.

I'm not looking to be a cool kid, I just want to get in with the right people, the ones who are going places. I don't want to be walked all over either though.

I don't know the girl, I know her friend.. And things get tougher from there because they're are close, both have well connected and well respected hockey parents... (In my area it can haunt ya) and I know what I want and I think I know how to get it.. But I don't want to lose a freind.. And I have no idea if my friend and the girl have ever gone down that road or if one liked the other... I just know that their families are close... I don't know if she's single or not..

Makes life interesting.

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11-30-2012, 02:40 PM
  #105
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you guys are soooooo... young...



all too effin serious, if you ask this old guy... I do not think that i was ever even at all serious about "getting my life in order" until I was about 24. That was TEN years after I was fully independent, with no parents...

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11-30-2012, 02:40 PM
  #106
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Meh, I didn't really start dating until I was in my 20's. Worked out...okay...for me.

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11-30-2012, 02:41 PM
  #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxwell Goldshadow View Post
Therapists are ****ing useless.
please warn us all when you are planning on coming to the States...

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11-30-2012, 02:42 PM
  #108
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Originally Posted by Generic User View Post
tl;dr
I usually read every single word posted on the Wild board. I got about 10 words into that one before I stopped.

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11-30-2012, 02:42 PM
  #109
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Originally Posted by Jarick View Post
Meh, I didn't really start dating until I was in my 20's. Worked out...okay...for me.
Quality over quantity... At the end of the day were all looking for the one.. Doesn't matter how many people we go through.

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11-30-2012, 02:45 PM
  #110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squidz View Post
I usually read every single word posted on the Wild board. I got about 10 words into that one before I stopped.
Yeah, well, thanks for that.

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Old
11-30-2012, 02:46 PM
  #111
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All i can say (to IHNC) as a 21 year old is: you're young, don't take life too seriously.

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11-30-2012, 02:48 PM
  #112
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Originally Posted by DC2600 View Post
All i can say (to IHNC) as a 21 year old is: you're young, don't take life too seriously.
I wish someone had of told me that 3 years ago... Would of saved me so much grief...

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11-30-2012, 02:49 PM
  #113
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
please warn us all when you are planning on coming to the States...
Don't worry, I will.

And it's my personal opinion, coming from personal experience. People are too naive and will believe any bs that comes out from the so-called "professional's" mouth instead of trying to figure their problems themselves. Therapists and psychoanalysts usually try to tick boxes on paper, and when they see a match, they put them under a certain bracket and offer them generalized advice instead of looking at them as individuals.

I rest my case.

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11-30-2012, 02:50 PM
  #114
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Originally Posted by DC2600 View Post
All i can say (to IHNC) as a 21 year old is: you're young, don't take life too seriously.
As a 38 year old...

Yeah... Live life. Have some fun... Marry someone who has a higher projected income ceiling than you...


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11-30-2012, 02:50 PM
  #115
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Originally Posted by IHaveNoCreativity View Post
I wish someone had of told me that 3 years ago... Would of saved me so much grief...
What were you 6 then? How have you had so many lady problems already?

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11-30-2012, 02:51 PM
  #116
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I think, when I was younger.. I did almost all the mistakes you can imagine... regarding how to charm the opposite sex. And if I had to, I'd do it all again

Being ready and mature.. there's no such thing. If there was, it wouldn't be any fun or emotional anymore.

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11-30-2012, 02:52 PM
  #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxwell Goldshadow View Post
Don't worry, I will.

And it's my personal opinion, coming from personal experience. People are too naive and will believe any bs that comes out from the so-called "professional's" mouth instead of trying to figure their problems themselves. Therapists and psychoanalysts usually try to tick boxes on paper, and when they see a match, they put them under a certain bracket and offer them generalized advice instead of looking at them as individuals.

I rest my case.
Or they can be an experienced, objective person to bounce ideas off of.

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11-30-2012, 02:52 PM
  #118
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Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
As a 38 year old...

Yeah... Live life. Have some fun... Marry someone who has a higher projected income ceiling than you...

Nailed it

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11-30-2012, 02:53 PM
  #119
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Originally Posted by Jarick View Post
Or they can be an experienced, objective person to bounce ideas off of.
And if they tell you that you may be a psychopath/bell tower type, I'd listen to them...

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11-30-2012, 02:57 PM
  #120
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Originally Posted by Jarick View Post
Or they can be an experienced, objective person to bounce ideas off of.
Yes, I'm with you.

There are bad mechanics, there are bad engineers, there are bad rocket scientists and for sure there are bad therapits. But it doesn't mean that the entire profession is worthless.

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11-30-2012, 02:57 PM
  #121
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Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
And if they tell you that you may be a psychopath/bell tower type, I'd listen to them...
DON'T go off the meds unless they tell you to! Trust me!

/still goes on and off meds as he sees fit

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11-30-2012, 02:58 PM
  #122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bozak911 View Post
And if they tell you that you may be a psychopath/bell tower type, I'd listen to them...
I've spent 3 hours on a single Thursday evening with a psychoanalyst/therapist when I was imprisoned two months ago. He tried to lead me several times to saying things that I'd regret/police could use against me, but it was also a lengthy, honest discussion where I would tell him everything about my life, from earliest memories to current situation.

The consensus was: Not psychopathic, not potentially dangerous or harmful to environment. I was set free the next day.

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11-30-2012, 03:03 PM
  #123
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What were you 6 then? How have you had so many lady problems already?
No I was 15 then...
I haven't had that many... Only 3.. I'm just really unlucky.. (Or lucky ?)

I definitely didn't have the typical teenage life..

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11-30-2012, 03:10 PM
  #124
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Some say (and this is not one of The Stig quotes) that love is a mental illness. And let it be like that.

As long as it doesn't go too far.

Soo.. just follow our instructions and you'll be fine

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11-30-2012, 03:33 PM
  #125
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Originally Posted by WiFi75 View Post
Yes, I'm with you.

There are bad mechanics, there are bad engineers, there are bad rocket scientists and for sure there are bad therapits. But it doesn't mean that the entire profession is worthless.
See also;
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxwell Goldshadow View Post
I've spent 3 hours on a single Thursday evening with a psychoanalyst/therapist when I was imprisoned two months ago. He tried to lead me several times to saying things that I'd regret/police could use against me, but it was also a lengthy, honest discussion where I would tell him everything about my life, from earliest memories to current situation.

The consensus was: Not psychopathic, not potentially dangerous or harmful to environment. I was set free the next day.
So yeah, there are some bad therapists out there...

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