In typical start-of-the-Bruin-season fashion, the SIM has given the Boston Bruins a kick in the pants, handing them 5 straight losses along with a heavy dose of crappy moral, a dark, stinking cloud from Mordor, and an album entitled "Shark Sandwich" which as been nicknamed "**** Sandwich" that is making the team wish that the world had ended with the Mayan Calendar back in December. "I am baffled once again - we look fairly decent on paper, better than many teams who are currently winning games - and yet we are failing miserably, and this happens year after year when the season starts. It is a headscratcher. And I don't have much more hair to scratch. Where is my ale?" stated a dumbfounded but surprisingly unsurprised GM Kruegs who was found licking his wounds at the Rusty Bean after the 5-2 blowout vs. the Canadians on Wednesday evening. No hints of trade talk as of yet, although a drunken undisclosed player did mention that someone with a yellow stick might be growing frustrated with the SIM's apparent distaste for the Bruins. Such cryptic words might prove meaningless tripe for now - but in a few months time they may carry some weight. Like ale through a plastic pink flamingo with its rear cut-off - the season flows fast and true, and when it ends some wonder if the Bruins roster will look the same. Stay tuned Beantown.