1- Have the Canadiens ship me free VIP season tickets every year for the rest of my life.
2- Have the Canadiens become a perennial contender for twenty years straight (insuring a win takes the fun out of watching hockey).
3- Have a true generational talent (Gretzky, Lemieux, Orr) don the habs jersey for his entire career.
1) highest paid zamboni driver, ever. 100,000 a year.
2) part-time scout (when I feel like it)
3) All club information goes through me, I get the final say, and I get to tell eklund the wrong news before telling bobby mac the correct info.