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Favorite Simpsons Moments -- Part XIII

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Old
01-22-2013, 03:09 PM
  #226
cupcrazyman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WarriorOfGandhi View Post
"Dear Mr. President. There are too many states nowadays. Please remove three. PS I am not a crackpot."
Grampa: "Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came

home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions,"

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01-23-2013, 01:32 PM
  #227
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The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about makin' other people feel worse and makin' a few bucks while you're at it.

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Old
01-23-2013, 01:45 PM
  #228
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(Bob the RV salesman checks Homer's credit on a computer, and a siren wails when the results come back.)
Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
Bob: You ever known a siren to be good? (Chuckles) No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.

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01-23-2013, 03:22 PM
  #229
robert terwilliger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceremony View Post
The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about makin' other people feel worse and makin' a few bucks while you're at it.

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Old
01-23-2013, 05:57 PM
  #230
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Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: I've been playing the saxophone for 30 years. I want you to have it.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: This isn't a saxophone. It's an umbrella.
Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: So I've been playing the umbrella for 30 years? Why didn't anyone ever tell me?
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: 'Cause we all thought it was funny.
Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: That's not funny.

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Old
01-24-2013, 11:59 AM
  #231
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Well, we have no witnesses, no suspects, and no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial "0" and ask for the police. That number again, "0."

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01-24-2013, 12:19 PM
  #232
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"Marge darling, there are ten pins in my heart. You've knocked over eight. Won't you please pick up that spare?"

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01-24-2013, 01:46 PM
  #233
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What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what! This better be about pizza!

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Old
01-24-2013, 02:39 PM
  #234
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Originally Posted by Ceremony View Post
Well, we have no witnesses, no suspects, and no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial "0" and ask for the police. That number again, "0."

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Old
01-25-2013, 11:44 AM
  #235
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Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?
Lunchlady Doris: Next!
Ralph: Chicken necks?

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Old
01-25-2013, 12:20 PM
  #236
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"How does he do it Smithers?"

"He's a love machine Sir."

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01-25-2013, 12:44 PM
  #237
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Adil: How can you defend a country where five percent of the people control 95 percent of the wealth?
Lisa: I'm defending a country where people can think, and act, and worship any way they want!
Adil: Can not.
Lisa: Can too.
Adil: Can not!
Lisa: Can too!
Homer: Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil's got a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.

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01-25-2013, 01:57 PM
  #238
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This has probably been mentioned before, but I have to say that this is my favourite Simpsons-quote of all time:

Homer: Oh, I hate my job. I mean, what's the point when your boss doesn't even remember your name?

Marge: I have an idea.

Homer: What? What's your idea?

Marge: When my father was first trying to catch my mother's eye, he sent her a box of candy with his photo in it. After that, she never forgot him.

Homer: That's all well and good, but it's not really your idea, is it now, Marge?

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Old
01-26-2013, 07:55 AM
  #239
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Barney: Hey who's touching me?
Skinner: I am!
Barney: oh, ok

"I'd get out but I don't know where I am!"

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Old
01-26-2013, 10:43 PM
  #240
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just bought Season 13 for $18

Treehouse Of Horror was great

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Old
01-27-2013, 04:13 AM
  #241
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Apu: What is the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream!
Homer: The reason I look unhappy is 'cause tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters! Or as I call them, "The Gruesome Twosome!"
[Homer and Apu chuckle. As Homer turns and leaves, he accidentally steps on Krusty's foot]
Krusty: Ow! My foot you lousy, stupid, clumsy...!
Homer: Sorry, pal... [Homer screams in horror when he spots Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display]
Krusty: (pointing gun at Apu) Hand over all your money in a paper bag!
Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery! I do work in a convenience store, you know! [He hands over paper bag after which Krusty flees.]
Apu: You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone. [Homer sighs in relief]

Apu's delivery in this scene is so deadpan, brilliant.

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Old
01-27-2013, 08:10 AM
  #242
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The program is interrupted by a special bulletin: ``Krisis at Kamp Krusty''.

Ladies and Gentleman, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq;
and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times
worse than all of them put together.
-- Kent Brockman, ``Kamp Krusty''

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Old
01-27-2013, 12:18 PM
  #243
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Bart: Look at my eyes! See the sincerity? See the conviction? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
Homer: And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids

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Old
01-27-2013, 12:26 PM
  #244
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Now, everyone say it in Karl's voice:



bargain basement lime green pppolyessster

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Old
01-27-2013, 12:40 PM
  #245
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tony d View Post
The program is interrupted by a special bulletin: ``Krisis at Kamp Krusty''.

Ladies and Gentleman, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq;
and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times
worse than all of them put together.
-- Kent Brockman, ``Kamp Krusty''
Always one of my favourites.

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Old
01-28-2013, 12:16 PM
  #246
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"He chose to destroy himself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected."

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Old
01-28-2013, 12:35 PM
  #247
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Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

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Old
01-28-2013, 12:44 PM
  #248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tony d View Post
The program is interrupted by a special bulletin: ``Krisis at Kamp Krusty''.

Ladies and Gentleman, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq;
and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times
worse than all of them put together.
-- Kent Brockman, ``Kamp Krusty''
I just wanna say that this was a really crappy camp. Can I say 'crappy' on TV?

Yes, on this network you can.

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Old
01-28-2013, 04:16 PM
  #249
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Old
01-28-2013, 06:31 PM
  #250
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I just made some banana bread, and this is immediately where my mind went

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