Thought I'd share this hilarious article with you guys. "Top 10 Reasons to hate the Canucks" ...by a Canuck fan.
Anyways, check out #1
#1 We hate Mark Messier
Mark Messier. I almost vomited a little as I wrote that. I in fact plan on formatting my hard drive the minute I am done writing this blog to erase every single bit of data associated with that Messier picture on my computer.
Mark Messier, a person universally hailed as the greatest leader in hockey history. A hall of famer who played with one of the greatest teams of all time in the Oilers, a man who saved New York from a long Stanley Cup drought, a man who currently has a trophy named after him for leadership. To everyone outside of Vancouver, he is an icon in hockey, a man who gave it his all to win, a man to be respected for everything he has accomplished in his career.
Ask anyone in Vancouver about Mark Messier, however, and you will find a surprising thing. Here, let's break it down how a conversation typically goes about Messier in Vancouver:
Tourist: Hi there, how are you doing?
Vancouverite: It's going good. We have some sun, so I can't complain.
Tourist: Could you recommend any good places to eat around here?
Vancouverite: Sure, you can try Flying Wedge pizza. A bit over priced, but they have some unique flavor options.
Tourist: Excellent. Could you recommend anything fun to do tonight for an out of towner?
Vancouverite: Sure, you should head down to Kits beach and watch the sunset. It's very serene.
Tourist: Excellent. Now, could you tell me about Mark Messier
Vancouverite: Get the **** away from me.
That is without fail how anyone in Vancouver will approach a conversation about Mark Messier. Old ladies who don't even watch hockey in Vancouver, instinctively they know to scream and fall to the ground and point at anyone who says Messier's name so that the locals can form together a posse to go hunt them down. People who aren't Vancouver fans truly don't understand it. They have no idea how we can hate a man who is so universally respected in hockey. To them, we are spitting on the legends of the game, showing no respect for the people who made hockey what it is today. So they question us as hockey fans and they add it to their hatred of us. But they don't know. They can never know how deep our hatred runs.
To sum it up, Mark Messier basically took a metaphorical dump all over Trevor Linden. Now, even the most dense hockey fans know Vancouver loves Trevor Linden. Trevor Linden is our boy, the kind of guy that if aliens ever attacked BC, we would all be perfectly calm because we know somehow, someway, Trevor Linden would be leading the charge and fending the aliens off. Trevor Linden is the real life Chuck Norris for Vancouver.
So when we have Mark Messier basically attacking Trevor Linden....well, let's just say, the easiest way to get your ass shipped out of BC is to have something bad to say about Trevor. Now imagine 10 years of someone attacking Trevor? Well, now maybe you'll understand why Mark Messier is banned in elementary schools for being a curse word. Go ahead, the next time you see a Vancouver fan, ask them this question:
"So what's the big deal about the end of game 6 in the Stanley Cup finals?"
Honestly, watch and look for the inner fire that bursts into their eyes and then go find a safe place to hide in as they begin their rant about the last minute of that game. It won't be pretty.
What does this mean for you folks? It means if you mess with one of our own, we will never let that feud die. We will take it to our graves. We will be the pettiest people you have ever seen, and we will make sure that those who go after our own, will never hear the end of it. I am pretty sure Mark Messier could be screaming and running down the streets of Vancouver on fire, and most people would wonder why he was making such a big deal out of it. We would still douse the flames, because we're Canadian, but after the fire was out we'd all probably start kicking him.
WE HATE MARK MESSIER. HE IS NOT A LEGEND OF HOCKEY TO US. WE SPIT ON YOUR IDEA OF HOCKEY HISTORY.