Threatening to dig up dead bodies: Another collection agency, Rumson, Bolling & Associates, was fined more than $700,000 last month for taking harassment to a whole new level. One of the worst offenses listed in the FTC's lawsuit: collectors allegedly threatened to dig up the bodies of debtors' deceased children and hang them from a tree or drop them outside their door if they failed to pay their funeral bills. The defendant's attorney, Christopher Pitet, said the company's owners did their best to ensure collectors complied with the law -- so if any wrongdoing was done, it was done by employees and was against company policy.
Promising to hurt pets: The harassment didn't stop at dead bodies, according to the FTC. Collectors at Rumson, Bolling & Associates also allegedly threatened to kill a debtor's dog. Specifically, collectors told a woman they would have her dog "arrested ... shoot him up and ... eat him," before sending the police to her house to arrest her, the FTC claimed.
When you think of Todd Helton, you think of a baseball veteran who has, thus far, played his entire career with one team, the Colorado Rockies. You think of him chasing a .400 batting average some years ago. You don't think punchlines.
Wednesday's early morning DUI arrest, however, might just change that. We already watched Helton enter the Horrible Mugshot Hall of Fame and today comes this unfortunate wrinkle to the story: Helton had driven to a gas station to buy ... wait for it ... lottery tickets.
Lottery tickets?!? Really? We're talking about a guy who has made more than $160 million in his career, including a nine-year, $141.5 million contact he signed in 2001.
Not that there are good reasons to drink and drive, but heading to the store for some scratchers when you're already rich? That's just dumb. We expect that from a "Real Housewife" but not from you, Todd.
Coyotes fans MIGHT be a little mad. Just a little...
I just want to nuke the state of Illinois out of existence. Can we do that? Just a teeny weeny little nuke. And we can blame it on Iran, because we're going to bomb the falafel out of those dudes anyway. Look, I'm as anti-war as you can get, but I'm resigned to it. It will be a terrible, terrible waste all around, but we might as well get something good out of it and turn that hellhole excuse for a state into the nation's largest ash tray. Please?