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Old
07-06-2006, 03:20 AM
  #1
TubbyTerrion*
 
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Surrealistic Expectations

Dan Cloutier plays 65 games and becomes the first Kings goaltender to win the Vezina Trophy...

Sean Avery keeps his nose clean and actually finishes the season with less PIM than Dustin Brown, who takes somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 minor penalties.

Brent Sopel's miraculous recovery from re-constructive knee surgery leads him to his most effective shot-blocking season, and he overtakes Karlis Skrastens as the premiere shot blocker in the West.

George Parros becomes an effective NHL player, and scores an astounding 15 goals in his sophomore season, skating a regular shift on the Kings fourth line.

Proving that it was NOT Pete Demers, Andy Murray, Dave Taylor or John VanCrapsmear, the Kings again lead the league in man games lost, but the signing of former Sharks Vincent Damphousse, Owen Nolan and Sandis Ozolnish plug up the holes and the Kings advance to the Stanley Cup Finals.

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07-06-2006, 03:22 AM
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CowMix
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Cloutier gets season ending injury in the preseason and Garon plays 65 games and becomes the first Kings goaltender to win the Vezina Trophy...

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07-06-2006, 03:24 AM
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How about they actually DO stay healthy for once.



Oh right, crazy talk.

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07-06-2006, 03:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Static View Post
How about they actually DO stay healthy for once.



Oh right, crazy talk.
that is asking way too much...

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Old
07-06-2006, 06:55 AM
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kingsfan25
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Wow..it looks like we have to add another classification of posters to this board...optimists, pessimists, realists and now surrealists.

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07-06-2006, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Brent Sopel's miraculous recovery from re-constructive knee surgery leads him to his most effective shot-blocking season, and he overtakes Karlis Skrastens as the premiere shot blocker in the West.
Jay McKee is in the West now.

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Old
07-06-2006, 09:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingsfan25 View Post
Wow..it looks like we have to add another classification of posters to this board...optimists, pessimists, realists and now surrealists.
'Listen up you ****ers, you screw heads: here is a man who stood up against the scum, the filth, the ****, the ****s, the dogs. Here is someone who stood up..."

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Old
07-06-2006, 10:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingsfan25 View Post
Wow..it looks like we have to add another classification of posters to this board...optimists, pessimists, realists and now surrealists.
You forgot the "always sarcastic" group.

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07-06-2006, 10:50 AM
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Fat Elvis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingsfan25 View Post
Wow..it looks like we have to add another classification of posters to this board...optimists, pessimists, realists and now surrealists.
What about us drunks?

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Old
07-06-2006, 10:52 AM
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Reaper45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KING ELVI View Post
What about us drunks?

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07-06-2006, 01:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingsfan25 View Post
Wow..it looks like we have to add another classification of posters to this board...optimists, pessimists, realists and now surrealists.

ahem...

<------dadaist

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Old
07-06-2006, 01:38 PM
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Heske_44
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As a Cancuks fan, I would like to thank all of you of curing my cancer and removing the Dan Cloutier that has been poisoning me for 5 years.

Expect at least one injury or illness, that is guaranteed. If he starts playing well, expect him to suddenly lose all focus and become inconsistent beyond belief. You will catch Dan in the butterfly far too early and far too often. If he doesn't hurt you with inconsistent play, then it will come with an injury.

Nonis said he tried to speak to almost every team out there and the Kings were the only ones to offer anything, and to boot could be a 2 for 1!!!

This was a waste of a cap hit for your fine young team and not even close to an improvement over Mathieu Garon. I am not sure what was on the King's mind doing this deal, but I no longer have to watch him flop around like he was picked out of the stands.

Enjoy!!! With Crawford behind the bench he will surely put a lot of faith in Dan inevitably hurting any chances of....

1) Being a playoff team period.
2) Having any hope of making noise in the playoffs.

Although Crow is a great coach and I am upset we lost him, you can still expect an up-tempo offence orientated style game that is fun to watch, that is until the puck is turned over and Clouts lets the beach ball in through his five hole!!!!!

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Old
07-06-2006, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILuvLA View Post
You forgot the "always sarcastic" group.
Yeah...I'll just go back and edit my list for your category.

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Old
07-06-2006, 04:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILuvLA View Post
You forgot the "always sarcastic" group.
Isn't that also called the "jt" group?

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07-06-2006, 06:11 PM
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we win a game or two

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Old
07-06-2006, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heske_44 View Post
As a Cancuks fan, I would like to thank all of you of curing my cancer and removing the Dan Cloutier that has been poisoning me for 5 years. blah blah blather...
I honestly do appreciate the several insightful Canucks fans who have come to the Kings board recently to provide some much-needed perspective on both Crow and Cloutier. Heske, you're not one of them. It's overbearing fans like you that have made a goalie wasteland of Vancouver and lead to good players leaving town to find success somewhere else. I really hope that this is one of those situations.

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Old
07-06-2006, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Dan Cloutier plays 65 games and becomes the first Kings goaltender to win the Vezina Trophy...

Sean Avery keeps his nose clean and actually finishes the season with less PIM than Dustin Brown, who takes somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 minor penalties.

Brent Sopel's miraculous recovery from re-constructive knee surgery leads him to his most effective shot-blocking season, and he overtakes Karlis Skrastens as the premiere shot blocker in the West.

George Parros becomes an effective NHL player, and scores an astounding 15 goals in his sophomore season, skating a regular shift on the Kings fourth line.

Proving that it was NOT Pete Demers, Andy Murray, Dave Taylor or John VanCrapsmear, the Kings again lead the league in man games lost, but the signing of former Sharks Vincent Damphousse, Owen Nolan and Sandis Ozolnish plug up the holes and the Kings advance to the Stanley Cup Finals.
Don't bogardt that joint my friend, c'mon pass it over!

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Old
07-07-2006, 01:06 AM
  #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by multiball View Post
It's overbearing fans like you that have made a goalie wasteland of Vancouver and lead to good players leaving town to find success somewhere else. I really hope that this is one of those situations.
Yeah, you couldn't even win with Broduer in goal.
A different Broduer?... ahh, *****...never mind.

Surreal, ok.

-Dali rises from the grave and becomes our no. 1 center.
(Marouelli at center ice announces the first penalty of the 06/07 campaign)... "#1/0 ( I know, irrational, not surreal), Dali, 2 minutes, unsportsmanlike mustache...oh yeah, and 2 min. boarding, Avery. And a game misconduct. Is capital punishment legal in this state?....Ok, that too. Poor *******, may Bettman have mercy on his soul."

-We have even worse injuries than the last 4 years. Murray's coaching is Not blamed.

-O'Sullivan actually makes the team and even Frolov fans begin to see what a true first line forward can do. They demand a trade. O'Sullivan is sent to Pheonix for Roenick.

-Miller picks up his mat and walks. His contract is chipped into marble for succeeding generations of fans to marvel at.

-Belanger is traded! and... He scores on the forehand!

-$.10 Microbrew night is instituted @ Staples. All seats are filled, even the ones that Lakers folks own! Beer riot ensues, Blue Line cars toppled over. "Oh, the humanity!" M. McSorely.

-"That was a piss-poor effort by the Kings." B. Miller

-Biron is aquired for Camallerri and a pick. Huh?

-I am drugged and taken to Staples against my will. With 50 seconds left in overtime I realize where I am, George Magrite scores the game winner on a perfect pass from Parros. I'm pissed, OK? I'm supposed to boycott for 2 more years.


Last edited by guzmania: 07-07-2006 at 11:05 AM.
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Old
07-07-2006, 09:59 AM
  #19
CBGB
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If I didn't actually KNOW you, I'd say you were on crack.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Dan Cloutier plays 65 games and becomes the first Kings goaltender to win the Vezina Trophy...
Why start now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Sean Avery keeps his nose clean and actually finishes the season with less PIM than Dustin Brown, who takes somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 minor penalties.
Dustin Brown won't last the year with the Kings... come to think of it... neither will Avery. Rob Blake, having to listen to his wife whine all year will lead the Kings in fighting majors.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Brent Sopel's miraculous recovery from re-constructive knee surgery leads him to his most effective shot-blocking season, and he overtakes Karlis Skrastens as the premiere shot blocker in the West.
Although this may be true, he will also lead the Kings with a minus -27

Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
George Parros becomes an effective NHL player, and scores an astounding 15 goals in his sophomore season, skating a regular shift on the Kings fourth line.
Been playing with your gameboy again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TubbyTerrion View Post
Proving that it was NOT Pete Demers, Andy Murray, Dave Taylor or John VanCrapsmear, the Kings again lead the league in man games lost, but the signing of former Sharks Vincent Damphousse, Owen Nolan and Sandis Ozolnish plug up the holes and the Kings advance to the Stanley Cup Finals.
Oh, no. It WAS VanCrapCoach, Andy "drone" Murray and Dave Taylor and especially that relic Demers. What's even funnier is that the Kings will have the LEAST amount of man games lost and STILL WON'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS.

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Old
07-07-2006, 11:04 AM
  #20
GoneFullHextall
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Originally Posted by KING ELVI View Post
What about us drunks?


sarcastic drunks? does that count

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