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The Cult of Joe Vitale (Orr vs. Vitale - better goal?)

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Old
02-11-2013, 10:46 PM
  #126
MrBurgundy*
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chancellor Vitale View Post
I knew you'd come around, Burgundy... don't feel shame. Rejoice in your new-found knowledge.
Oh that's a very dirty move there Chancellor. Your religious oppression will not go unnoticed by the Lord Craig Adams once he comes into his kingdom.

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Old
02-11-2013, 10:50 PM
  #127
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Did anyone find any comment from General Disco on why Vitale got scratched? Because if it was really those two penalties that should never have been called he is being a giant ass.

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Old
02-11-2013, 10:56 PM
  #128
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Those calls were dog ****. I expect that call in floor hockey, not the NHL.

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Old
02-12-2013, 09:47 AM
  #129
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chancellor Vitale View Post
Those calls were dog ****. I expect that call in floor hockey, not the NHL.
The awesome majesty and presence of the Joe caused the mere mortal minds of the referees to wither and atrophy in his presence. They were unable to comprehend the true greatness of Joe and felt that something wrong had to have occurred.

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Old
02-12-2013, 09:47 AM
  #130
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Originally Posted by Tasty Biscuits View Post
This is what happens when you scratch Vitale. No reason for him to sit when you've got chumps like Kennedy dogging it.
Or while Boychuk exists.

For the life of me, I've never understood WHY Vitale never gets a Talbot style shot.

Bylsma is every bit the infidel Burgundy is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tender Rip View Post
Did anyone find any comment from General Disco on why Vitale got scratched? Because if it was really those two penalties that should never have been called he is being a giant ass.
Who's a giant ass, Coach Accountability or Burgundy?

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Old
02-12-2013, 11:20 AM
  #131
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Originally Posted by KIRK View Post
Who's a giant ass, Coach Accountability or Burgundy?
Yes.


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Old
02-12-2013, 03:19 PM
  #132
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Could I have the Great and Holy Vitale baptize my newborn Daughter? No other religion will do...

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Old
02-12-2013, 04:19 PM
  #133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tafkak View Post
Could I have the Great and Holy Vitale baptize my newborn Daughter? No other religion will do...
It would be less a baptism in the traditional religous sense than passing the Aura of Vitality to the young one. I could try to explain it in human terms but even I have a hard time comprehending the depth of strength and character that is Joe.

The good news is, no arrangements are necessary. Just find a quiet time to speak to Joe through the medium of time and space, and he will hear your case. If he finds your thoughts to be filled with enthusiasm and visions of Cup-wielding grandeur, your daughter will be blessed with the Aura.

And congratulations! The good tidings of Joe shall be upon you and your family.

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Old
02-12-2013, 07:08 PM
  #134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KIRK View Post
For the life of me, I've never understood WHY Vitale never gets a Talbot style shot.
The reason for this is that Shero has enforced it so. To place Vitale upon a line next to any player makes the others feel so inferior that they question whether or not they should even continue to play hockey. When Geno is nearing the time for an extension, to upset him by showing how inferior he truly is would be foolish.

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Old
02-14-2013, 09:31 AM
  #135
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Has Pope Joe I made a statement yet as to why he didn't merely lay his hands on Karlsson and repair his achilles on the spot?

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Old
02-14-2013, 09:33 AM
  #136
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Joe is not a faith healer full of quackery. Joe didn't heal Karlsson because he didn't ask. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

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Old
02-14-2013, 02:02 PM
  #137
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All this talk about not having enough Russians on the team should be put to bed...





What we really need are more Vitalian players, amiright??

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Old
02-14-2013, 03:36 PM
  #138
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Vitalian... yes.

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Old
02-14-2013, 04:05 PM
  #139
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"Cult Of Joe Vitale"

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of Joe Vitale
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale
Like Mussolini and (not Tyler) Kennedy
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale
Cult of Joe Vitale
Cult of Joe Vitale

Neon lights, Nobel Prize
When a mirror speaks, the reflection lies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set me free

I sell the things you need to be
I'm the smiling face on your TV
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale
I exploit you, still you love me
I told you one and one make three
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale
Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale
Cult of Joe Vitale
Cult of Joe Vitale

Neon lights, a Nobel Prize
A leader speaks, that leader dies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You gave me power in your God's name
I'm every person you need to be
I'm the cult of Joe Vitale



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Old
02-14-2013, 04:23 PM
  #140
Darth Vitale
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And I didn't think I could be any prouder of you people after the last hymn / ode to Joe. Once again you have found part of Joe's Codex. Continue your search and more shall be revealed in time.

Fighting back man-tears now... the patriotism is overwhelming me.

Hockey to the Power of Joe, indeed. His reach extends far beyond the ice, into the minds of common men, inspiring them to literary greatness. It shouldn't surprise anyone that Joe makes our music and our words better. He is the Renaissance personified.

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Old
02-14-2013, 05:12 PM
  #141
Frank Gallagher
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBurgundy View Post
Oh that's a very dirty move there Chancellor. Your religious oppression will not go unnoticed by the Lord Craig Adams once he comes into his kingdom.


Alas, an anthem of great Victory written by myself for Him.
To the tune of "Creatures (For A While)" by 311.



"Some Call Him Vitale"

"His Name is Joey V,
He is the Lord of hockey,
He surely will not rest,
until the enemy is a memory and,
he's had a wild ride
he'll push them to the limit
He makes the Flyers cry
The greatest fourth line pivot!

Vitale is the Penguins' key
To every single Victory
He pushes foes aside
Adams will testify
and so will Burgandy

There is never a time
Where Victory is far from our minds

The other teams are so frustrated,
Vitale is the king, they are all checkmated,
Joe Victory sitting on the throne
All the others bow down

We follow honestly, the words of Vitale
Through every shift, he beat opponents down

Vital is Joey V.
Some call him Vitale
We are his humble servants
Our faith in him is fervent
Vital is Joey V.
Some call him Vitale
We are his humble servants
Victory, Victory
We trust in him
We trust in him

Always, he is the savior
Always, he is the savior and all will bow

Some say Joe is not the one
They have been warned, Joe's will be done
blasphemers should beware
just ask Danny Briere
Joe fights until the battle's won

Famous among Pens fans
and soon across the land

Don't trust in Craig, don't trust in anyone
except for Joe, he is the worthy one
Carry on, carry on his flag
And praise Joe's holy crown

Sometimes he breaks their bones, sometimes he breaks their souls
Always he breaks them down, Joe's enemies be damned

Vital is Joey V.
Some call him Vitale
We are his humble servants
Our faith in him is fervent
Vital is Joey V.
Some call him Vitale
We are his humble servants
Victory, Victory
We trust in him
We trust in him

Always
Always, We have faith in Joe
Always, he is Lord
Always, the savior

He is the mighty savior
Always, he is the key to Victory
Always, we have faith in Joe
Always, Joe fights until the battle's won."

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Old
02-19-2013, 08:09 AM
  #142
SuburbanRhythm
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Penguins' Vitale energized after healthy scratches

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Old
02-19-2013, 09:01 AM
  #143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonsterSurge View Post
Some say that he dances with a man named Harry and that he sleeps with a clenched fist. All we know is, he's called Joey V.
Top Gear reference, eh? Maybe they should have him be the star in the reasonably priced car.

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Old
02-19-2013, 09:12 AM
  #144
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanRhythm View Post

Penguins' Vitale Energized after genetic superhuman cloning at birth









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Old
02-19-2013, 09:23 AM
  #145
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Quote:
"Yeah, I don't like sitting out," he said. "I had a little [ammunition] in my cannon, for sure, coming back."
Only an infidel woudl think that he was speaking metaphorically. When The Joe says cannons, he means cannons.
The time of the JOEvolution has come! Never again will a mother cry out in the night for a complete top six! Never again will the prayers of a talented rookie go unheard.
Rise up brother of the Vitale! Rise up!

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Old
02-19-2013, 10:24 AM
  #146
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Joe strives not for worldly things or the self-indulgent pleasure of goals. To want is to suffer.

Vitalism is the seeing of the whole, it is to create the presence of pure energy where before there was none. The oneness with things. Joe is the equilibrium in the Force... balancing good against evil. Speed against sloth. Fight against apathy. Hockey ^ Joe is not a clever marketing gimmick. Is is the way of things.

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Old
02-19-2013, 10:58 AM
  #147
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Old
02-19-2013, 11:13 AM
  #148
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Joe is in favor of that sandwich because it's lunch time. Energy requires fuel.

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Old
02-19-2013, 11:42 AM
  #149
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Is there anywhere on the boards a thread, Winger for Vitale !!!!

If not than i'm very dissapointed.

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Old
02-19-2013, 12:32 PM
  #150
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Vitale is like Rudy in terms of tenacity and passion. Except Rudy sucked aside from one game. Vitale >>>>>>>>>>>Rudy.

Also, Vitale seemingly never makes a mistake. Whether it's puck battles along the boards or keeping puck possession alive, it's almost a given that he's going to make the right play.









Definitely not your average Joe.

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