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Step parents?

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Old
02-23-2013, 10:09 AM
  #76
Daynz
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I was a teenage girl once. We're horrible. Time will play a huge role here. I'd suggest being consistent. Don't give up on her. Talk to her mother about showing a united front when it comes to disciplining her, with her mother taking the lead role. Reading is wonderful. Perhaps you can let her read if she finishes her homework. How is your partner's relationship with her ex? Maybe she could talk to him about the gift giving/trying to be the fun/cool/nice parent. She could try to explain to him that it's counter productive. Good luck. Maybe let us know if you make any kind of progress?

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02-23-2013, 02:39 PM
  #77
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Originally Posted by maroon 6 View Post
Why not?
Someone that age with all the changes they go through...probably the mindset of

"Who the **** is this guy telling me what I can and can not do.. he's not related to me"

Just let the mom and dad do their job.. if she is being as bad as TC says I'm sure the kids mom will agree and she can do the grounding and punishment herself.

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02-23-2013, 02:43 PM
  #78
Mike Emrick
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I love how several people in here just don't care about the topic and are posting Step Brothers quotes

Good movie

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02-23-2013, 03:20 PM
  #79
Walkingthroughforest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FakeKidPoker View Post
Someone that age with all the changes they go through...probably the mindset of

"Who the **** is this guy telling me what I can and can not do.. he's not related to me"

Just let the mom and dad do their job.. if she is being as bad as TC says I'm sure the kids mom will agree and she can do the grounding and punishment herself.
As someone who grew up with divorced parents who had long term partners, this is the single worst advice that is in this thread.

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02-23-2013, 04:37 PM
  #80
Dustin Peener
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Originally Posted by Walkingthroughforest View Post
As someone who grew up with divorced parents who had long term partners, this is the single worst advice that is in this thread.
"my personal experiences are different therefore apply to everyone and you are wrong"

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02-23-2013, 04:45 PM
  #81
King Mapes
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I have a stepfather and when I was younger I used to tell him "you're not my father you can't tell me what to do" often. I used other lines as well. I feel bad looking back (I'm 25 now), especially since my real father lives 1200 Km's away and he was the only real father figure (for the most part, I saw my dad twice a year). My mom caused me to have a lot of drug problems as a teenager and would let me drink at 15. My step dad threatened to kick me out for said stuff (sucked then but looking back, it ment he cared).

But the relationship will get better. Him and my mom split up 6 years ago and I haven't had much of a relationship with her the past 5 years, same as my sister. The only people I talk to who are blood related is an aunt and my father. I talk to my stepdad and everyone on his side often. I'm pretty close with them.

So i guess moral of the story is be there for her the best you can and one day when she is old enough she'll realize. It took me until after I moved out to notice who the one person who was always there for me was and your stepdaughter will too. Don't take her insults personally (if she does say stuff..)

There's my advice for the day.

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02-23-2013, 06:11 PM
  #82
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lirl, not even allowed to read during the week.

Feel bad for kid.

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02-23-2013, 09:20 PM
  #83
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Whatever

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02-24-2013, 05:37 AM
  #84
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Originally Posted by fst6 View Post
lirl, not even allowed to read during the week.

Feel bad for kid.
Did you not read my post on page 3? Jeez.

Anyway, to the person who said it shouldn't be me telling her what to do, you can go play in traffic. She lives in MY house. I'm paying for her food, clothes, school (goes to private school) and all the other little things that come along the way in a pre-teen girls life. I believe that I have full authority (even more than her "real" dad) of what she can and can't do. I take care of her, not the guy who she only sees once a year.

As for progress there has been tons made. Like I said in a previous post taking away her books and reading privileges worked. It motivated her to finish her work and even turn in assignments that were pastdue by weeks. She has earned her reading back and has continued to complete her work. She knows now that theres always time for reading and fun as long as she does her work first. Her all around attitude has improved as well. She called me daddy the other day and she hadn't done that since she was around 9. As lame as the movie was I even watched breaking dawn 2 with her. Seeing her enjoy was nice though.


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02-25-2013, 03:50 AM
  #85
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Originally Posted by buckridesagain View Post
Just when I tell her she can't read her real dad (who lives in another state) bought her a kindle and barnes & noble gift cards. Now hes father of the year and I'm the jerk step dad who won't let her use it. I
Maybe it's because her father is actually encouraging her hobby and taking an interest? I don't know. Not a lot of back story there.

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02-25-2013, 06:28 AM
  #86
KEEROLE Vatanen
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she's not your daughter
you make her mom deal with that ****

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Old
02-25-2013, 06:30 AM
  #87
KEEROLE Vatanen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckridesagain View Post
Did you not read my post on page 3? Jeez.

Anyway, to the person who said it shouldn't be me telling her what to do, you can go play in traffic. She lives in MY house. I'm paying for her food, clothes, school (goes to private school) and all the other little things that come along the way in a pre-teen girls life. I believe that I have full authority (even more than her "real" dad) of what she can and can't do. I take care of her, not the guy who she only sees once a year.

As for progress there has been tons made. Like I said in a previous post taking away her books and reading privileges worked. It motivated her to finish her work and even turn in assignments that were pastdue by weeks. She has earned her reading back and has continued to complete her work. She knows now that theres always time for reading and fun as long as she does her work first. Her all around attitude has improved as well. She called me daddy the other day and she hadn't done that since she was around 9. As lame as the movie was I even watched breaking dawn 2 with her. Seeing her enjoy was nice though.
make her go to public school then, dont be paying all this **** for her

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Old
02-25-2013, 08:18 AM
  #88
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Originally Posted by the8bandarmadillo View Post
Maybe it's because her father is actually encouraging her hobby and taking an interest? I don't know. Not a lot of back story there.
Not even close. He lives over a thousand miles away. Hes only seen her maybe 5-6 times since she was 3 years old. From what I've been told he never started taking an interest in her life until he found out about me.

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02-25-2013, 01:48 PM
  #89
thestonedkoala
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Originally Posted by buckridesagain View Post
Not even close. He lives over a thousand miles away. Hes only seen her maybe 5-6 times since she was 3 years old. From what I've been told he never started taking an interest in her life until he found out about me.
Well, did he move or did she move? Did she remove parental rights? The problem I'm seeing is you're not getting involved in your kid's interest, which is reading.

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02-25-2013, 02:17 PM
  #90
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Originally Posted by the8bandarmadillo View Post
Well, did he move or did she move? Did she remove parental rights? The problem I'm seeing is you're not getting involved in your kid's interest, which is reading.
He moved away. Just decided one day he didn't want to be married or be a dad anymore. I am taking an interest now which I can honestly say I wasnt trying to before. I'm asking her more questions about her books which she seems to get a kick out of. Like I said in previous posts, things are a lot better.

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02-26-2013, 12:08 AM
  #91
Jek McPorkins
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It's tough to find the balance between being a caring/nurturing parent and being a responsible/reprimanding parent when the child isn't your blood. Your choices are always second-guessed, your authority can be nullified at any time. It's tough.

If you want to pick a better privilege to remove until the grades improve, try her cellphone. I took my stepson's iphone away until his grades got above 75%. Sure enough, he pulled off the improvements. And he knows that he'll lose it again if the grades fall. When I did it, he pouted and whined and badmouthed me to everyone he knew. And it stung. But he figured it out soon enough.

Maybe there's something that can be done without making it a stepdad vs. realdad scenario. That's a bad road for her to go down.

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