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Favorite Simpsons Moments -- Part XIII

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Old
02-26-2013, 11:47 AM
  #601
Fixed to Ruin
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I'm looking for a suitable young male heir to leave my fortune to when I pass away -- my vast, vast, vast fortune.

Vast.


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02-26-2013, 12:11 PM
  #602
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Now where did I put my badge...



Aw come on, give it back

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02-26-2013, 12:27 PM
  #603
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Chief Wiggum: If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number one cop in town? Now where did I put my gun? Oh yeah, I set it down when I got a piece of cake.



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02-26-2013, 12:37 PM
  #604
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"You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops!"
"They are? Oh, no! Have they set a date?"

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02-26-2013, 12:38 PM
  #605
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What's wrong Jub Jub? It's mama

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02-26-2013, 12:43 PM
  #606
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“Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?” – Joe Friday

“Absolutely. Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.” – C.M. Burns

“Uh, sir, phrenology was dismissed as quackery a hundred-sixty years ago.” – Mr. Smithers

“Of course you’d say that, you have the brainpan of stage coach tilter.” – C.M. Burns


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02-26-2013, 12:45 PM
  #607
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"You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires post-haste." - C.M. Burns


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Old
02-26-2013, 08:38 PM
  #608
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"Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?"

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02-26-2013, 08:44 PM
  #609
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it's recess everywhere but in his heart.

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02-26-2013, 09:54 PM
  #610
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Hollis Hurlbut: Is everything okay? You look a bit flushed.
Lisa: It's just the excitement from studying Jebediah.
Hollis Hurlbut: Looks like you've come down with a serious case of Jebeditis.
Lisa: Just as I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis.
Hollis Hurlbut: [laughs] ...You had arthritis?
Lisa: [chuckles nervously] ...No.

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02-26-2013, 09:57 PM
  #611
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"You know, when Lorne Michaels asked me to host this show, I said 'Lorne, why me?'" "I mean I did just star in my first movie with Marvin Hagler and Tova Borgnine."
< faint coughing in the background>
"..Yeah!"
<more coughing>

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02-26-2013, 10:28 PM
  #612
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Carl = black
Lenny = white

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02-26-2013, 11:40 PM
  #613
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Originally Posted by PromNite View Post
Carl = black
Lenny = white

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02-27-2013, 07:50 AM
  #614
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Is that right?

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02-27-2013, 08:30 AM
  #615
Buck Aki Berg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkP View Post
"You know, when Lorne Michaels asked me to host this show, I said 'Lorne, why me?'" "I mean I did just star in my first movie with Marvin Hagler and Tova Borgnine."
< faint coughing in the background>
"..Yeah!"
<more coughing>
Ugh, this goes on for twelve more minutes.....

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02-27-2013, 09:45 AM
  #616
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robert terwilliger View Post


it's recess everywhere but in his heart.
"It started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buck Aki Berg View Post
Ugh, this goes on for twelve more minutes.....
"You're not gonna like our NYPD Shoe sketch. It's basically the same thing."

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Old
02-27-2013, 09:51 AM
  #617
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"They love me down at the plant, rubbing my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh.."

"..it doesn't sound like they like you much at all."

"You're right! First thing tomorrow, I'm going to punch Lenny in the back of the head!"


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Old
02-27-2013, 10:08 AM
  #618
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That's why I need a name that's cutting edge, like cutco, edgecom, interslice.


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Old
02-27-2013, 10:23 AM
  #619
Buck Aki Berg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devils4cup View Post
I'm looking for a suitable young male heir to leave my fortune to when I pass away -- my vast, vast, vast fortune.

Vast.
Hello Mister ..... Kurns. I bad want .. money now. Me sick.

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Old
02-27-2013, 10:26 AM
  #620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buck Aki Berg View Post
Hello Mister ..... Kurns. I bad want .. money now. Me sick.
Bart: So pick me, Mr. Burns-
Homer: It's Kurns, stupid!
Marge: No it's not.
Homer: Disregard.

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Old
02-27-2013, 11:31 AM
  #621
Fixed to Ruin
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Hello Mister ..... Kurns. I bad want .. money now. Me sick.
Ooh, he card-reads good.

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Old
02-27-2013, 11:53 AM
  #622
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And finally, age eighteen


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Old
02-27-2013, 12:07 PM
  #623
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And finally, age eighteen

I'll show you some of the tools I'll be using. This is the scraper. This is the poker. And this happy little fellow is called the gouger.

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Old
02-27-2013, 01:27 PM
  #624
Grumpy Humphrey
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Now hold still while I gas you.

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Old
02-27-2013, 02:13 PM
  #625
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"More testicles mean more iron."

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