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Rangers @ Jets | Thu Mar 14 | 7PM | MTS Centre | "Beware the Flying-W"

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:31 PM
  #76
cheswick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gump Hasek View Post
Watched a replay of the last game on pvr last night and came up with a new drinking game.

Pound one back every time Beyek says this is a dandy game, or a dandy period, or that a player is playing a dandy game.
Noticed that too. How bout everytime he says "big save pavlec"

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:37 PM
  #77
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Originally Posted by Hammer Slammer View Post
"Here comes player name, playing in his number NHL game"
You working on a Beyak script?

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:39 PM
  #78
Tom ServoMST3K
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http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2010/10...game-ever.html

this is semi-related, and pretty funny

Quote:
Voiceover: Welcome to tonight's coverage of every NHL game ever broadcast. Here's a montage of slow motion highlights set to non-threatening rock music. Now over to our in-studio host for tonight's game.

Host: Hello everyone, I'm a little too excited to be here. With me is our panel of experts.

Management: I'm the former coach and/or front office executive. Everything I say will be driven by grudges I still hold from my failed career.

Player: I'm the recently retired player. I'm still friends with most of these guys, so I'll never say anything interesting.

Media: And I'm the media guy. I will take every moment of the game and force it into a larger narrative for storytelling purposes.

Host: Who are you picking to win tonight?

Management: I'm picking the home team, because the visiting team fired me in 1983.

Player: I'm taking both teams, because I don't see why everyone can't be a winner.

Media: I'm taking the visitors, because I'm working on a story about concussions.

Host: Makes sense. Let's send it up to the play-by-play announcer and the analyst.

Play-by-play: Good evening. I'm a shameless homer, but will make a half-hearted attempt to disguise that if this is a national broadcast.

Analyst: And I will say things you already know, five seconds after you yell them at your television.

Play-by-play: We will now show you shots of both goaltenders, followed by a slow zoom on the referee who has his hand in the air.

Analyst: Don't forget the shot of a coach staring into space.

Play-by-play: Something interesting has happened right off the bat, although you didn't see it because you were trying to read the line combinations that we flash on the screen in three-point font. Let's go down to the guy we've stuck between the benches. What did you think of that play?

Bench: I have no idea. You can't see anything down here and I'm terrified of being hit with a slap shot.

Play-by-play: Well, thanks anyway.

Bench: I will now go silent just in time for the players around me to teach your children some new swear words.

Play-by-play: Very educational. Let's send it back to the panel for the first intermission show.

Host: Welcome to the first intermission show, where we ignore everything that's happened in the game so far and instead have the discussion we'd already prepared in advance. The home team has recently lost two games in a row. What fatal flaw would you randomly attribute those losses to?

Management: I'm going to say a complete lack of intelligence on the part of everyone who has ever been employed by the franchise.

Media: I'm going to attribute it to a lack of character, brought on by the disintegration of the traditional nuclear family.

Player: I'm going to chalk it up to small sample size.

(Horrified silence.)

Player: Just kidding. Let's go with character.

Host: Now over to the highlight guy, who is in the same studio but has to stand ten feet away from us for some reason.

Highlights: I resent you all terribly.

Host: Back to you guys in the booth!

Play-by-play: Welcome back. Here's a scoring chance … he scores! Let's bring in the former goaltender that we're legally obligated to include on every broadcast.

Ex-goalie: That one was totally not the goaltender's fault, it was deflected in off a stick.

Play-by-play: The goal came on a breakaway.

Ex-goalie: Exactly. The shooter deflected it into the net using his own stick. Those are the hardest kind to stop.

Play-by-play: Have you ever seen a goal that was the goalie's fault?

Ex-goalie: Not yet, no.

Play-by-play: Let's send it back to the panel for the second intermission.

Host: When you last saw us, we were telling you how terrible the home team was. Now that they've had one good period, let's pretend that never happened and instead go overboard in praising how well they're playing.

Management: Here's a play from that last period, filmed from 15,000 feet above the ice. I will now scribble randomly on the screen with a magic marker.

Player: Everyone tried really hard on that play and seemed to have fun.

Media: Global warming!

Host: Highlight guy?

Highlights: (sniffle)

Host: Back to the action!

Play-by-play: It's a 1-0 game, which means you're in for 20 minutes of plodding defensive trapping that we'll pretend is entertaining.

Analyst: I will make vague references to a defensive "system" without ever explaining what that actually means.

Play-by-play: And now a fight has broken out. I will attempt to win a Gemini by pretending to be completely horrified.

Analyst: This is an overwrought comment about how nobody likes fighting, which you are unable to hear because the fans are cheering so loudly.

Play-by-play: And there's the final buzzer.

Analyst: This game went much faster than usual.

Play-by-play: Shut up.

Analyst: Here are tonight's three stars, which don't make any sense since we had to pick them with twelve minutes left in the second period.

Play-by-play: And now let's send it back to the studio for the post-game.

Host: Panel, before the game we all unanimously agreed that the home team would never win another game. Now that they've won, is it fair to say that it is in fact the visiting team that will never win again?

Management: Not unless they hire some new blood to the front office. Hint hint.

Player: I brought orange slices for everyone.

Media: Trapped miners!

Host: Highlight guy?

Highlights: Die. All of you.

Host: Thanks for watching everyone. Stay tuned to watch anchors narrate highlights of the game you just saw!

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:45 PM
  #79
Kinjero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynk View Post
It's the extra games that are played after the Regular Season is completed. But that's not important right now.



thanks Capt'n

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:46 PM
  #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom ServoMST3K View Post
http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2010/10...game-ever.html

this is semi-related, and pretty funny



Play-by-play: Welcome back. Here's a scoring chance … he scores! Let's bring in the former goaltender that we're legally obligated to include on every broadcast.

Ex-goalie: That one was totally not the goaltender's fault, it was deflected in off a stick.

Play-by-play: The goal came on a breakaway.

Ex-goalie: Exactly. The shooter deflected it into the net using his own stick. Those are the hardest kind to stop.


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Old
03-14-2013, 12:52 PM
  #81
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Quote:
Analyst: And I will say things you already know, five seconds after you yell them at your television.

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Old
03-14-2013, 12:55 PM
  #82
Turbofan
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Also my prediction for the first intermission question by Sara Orlesky (many reporters are guilty of this btw, not isolating her):

"How important was it to get the first goal?"

Uhh...it's important because the team who scores the most wins the game? And it's better to score...umm..earlier than the other guys?

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Old
03-14-2013, 01:02 PM
  #83
garret9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tom servomst3k View Post
http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2010/10...game-ever.html

this is semi-related, and pretty funny



bahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha

Quote:
media: And i'm the media guy. I will take every moment of the game and force it into a larger narrative for storytelling purposes.
Quote:
player: I'm going to chalk it up to small sample size.

(horrified silence.)

player: Just kidding. Let's go with character.

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Old
03-14-2013, 01:11 PM
  #84
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Coach Claude Noel pre-game scrum



Coach Noel - Montoya re-aggravated an injury yesterday during practice. Cormier game-time decision. How he sends messages. Happy to see Burmistrov working hard. What are his expectations for tonight against Rangers from his squad. Is the shortened season creating a playoff atmosphere every game? Dealing with the pressures of each game. Approval of realignment. Tobias on the ice, but still a ways away. Is there a set number of practices before a player can go back in?

To listen click here.

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Old
03-14-2013, 01:34 PM
  #85
winterpeg
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Quote:
Play-by-play: Have you ever seen a goal that was the goalie's fault?

Ex-goalie: Not yet, no.


Man, I had a hockey coach who was an Ex-Goalie, and this happened. All the time.

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:04 PM
  #86
JustGivingEr
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That opening picture is absolutely amazing! Great work.

For a game halfway through the season this is as close to a must win game that you can get IMO.

Go Jets Go!

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:06 PM
  #87
JustGivingEr
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Also, this whole video is hilarious


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Old
03-14-2013, 02:29 PM
  #88
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"Tight turns as he gets away from the forechecking of [player name], [player name] does. Clears the puck down the ice but kept in at the line by [player name], the winnipeg native in his [number]th nhl game."

That's all I've got for my Beyak script for now.


Also, I thought I was vBroke. I would've put more than 50 down if I would have actually looked. Woops.

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:42 PM
  #89
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Last game was perhap sbest Jets played all year. Great vibe for this team right now. Regulation wins are looking good for possible tie-breaker let's get another tonight, boys!

GO JETS GO

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:44 PM
  #90
Blackie Dammit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gump Hasek View Post
Go Jets Go!!!


Time for a musical interlude...

Check out that crowd!
AWESOME. I'm sooooo pumped after that. Thanks Gump

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:45 PM
  #91
YWGinYYZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom ServoMST3K View Post
I posted this pic In the OT board,

I love what you have done with it, the funniest yet.

Pavs should have been Bombay, because of. The drunk driving thing
Yeah, that's where I got it from - thanks for the inspiration.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmycrackcorn View Post
Geez, I wonder of the face pic of Enstrom was recent of if you found one of him as a kid...

Looks to be about 11 years old
Fairly recent, yes: he definitely can look extremely young in some pics.

I smell a blow-out tonight for the Jets. Not sure why, just do. I'll probably end up disappointed in the result, but darn it, I'm going with that prediction for now.

Go Go!

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:48 PM
  #92
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Scored a last minute ticket to the game, should be a good one.

Go Jets Go!

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:50 PM
  #93
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This GDT is missing some ASAP Rocky i think

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Old
03-14-2013, 02:51 PM
  #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YWGinYYZ View Post
I smell a blow-out tonight for the Jets. Not sure why, just do. I'll probably end up disappointed in the result, but darn it, I'm going with that prediction for now.

Go Go!
Follow the nose.


Last edited by Hammer Slammer: 03-14-2013 at 04:11 PM. Reason: fixin quotes yo
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Old
03-14-2013, 03:36 PM
  #95
Turbofan
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You know who I like as an announcer actually? Emrick. On NBC he's gotta be impartial. So he's super-excited when either teams scores. His voice is a bit shrieky when it happens but I don't mind. 'He SCAAAAAAAAAWWWRSS!!!!!'.


Last edited by Turbofan: 03-14-2013 at 03:49 PM. Reason: corrected spelling
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Old
03-14-2013, 03:40 PM
  #96
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Emrick is the best in the business AFAIC.

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Old
03-14-2013, 03:45 PM
  #97
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If Torts doesn't finish the season with the NYR's, would they say the loss in WPG was the nail in the coffin? Since the NYR's are the Leafs of the United States, they should have the same meltdown reaction as the buds did last game. PGT should be epic in this case.

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Old
03-14-2013, 04:05 PM
  #98
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"Hire Lindy"


Is the chant of the night.

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Old
03-14-2013, 04:08 PM
  #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gump Hasek View Post
Watched a replay of the last game on pvr last night and came up with a new drinking game.

Pound one back every time Beyek says this is a dandy game, or a dandy period, or that a player is playing a dandy game.
Not particularly funny, but if you were to take a sip every time you saw a player spit you would be absolutely laid flat out by the end of the first period.

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Old
03-14-2013, 04:33 PM
  #100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allan5oh View Post
"Hire Lindy"


Is the chant of the night.
is that directed at us torts?

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