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Facts About Antero Niittymaki

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:10 PM
  #1
FlyersFanJS
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Facts About Antero Niittymaki

my roommate sent me this about another goaltender, so i thought it would be cool for nitty (inspired by the chuck norris facts):

*Nitty is so awesome at stopping projectiles that if you put him between two battalions firing at each other in a war, there would be zero casualties.

*Flyers games have been banned by the bookies when Nitty is in goal. He took away all the fun in gambling.

*Nitty is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will smother an impossible shot in his glove.

*Time waits for no man, unless that man is named Antero Niittymaki.

*Nitty is the only goalie to get more than 100% saving percentage.

*Nitty sheds his skin twice a year.

*When Nitty makes a save, Nitty doesn't save the puck. The puck goes to Nitty.

*If you look up the word "victim" in an English dictionary, it defines it as "someone who tries to score on Antero Niittymaki."

*If you Google search " Antero Niittymaki performed badly" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

*It takes Nitty 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

*Nitty amuses himself by dressing flies in a tiny funeral tuxedo before smacking them, because he thinks they have such slow reaction.

*If a hockey player even dreams of scoring a goal on Nitty, he will still be there to make the save.

*Nitty can touch MC Hammer.

*Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Antero Niittymaki pajamas.

*Nitty can change coal into a diamond if holding the coal in his glove. Then he can create the diamond back into coal again.

*When Nitty makes a move, he doesn't exactly move. It's the world that moves around him.

*Scotty in Star Trek often says Ye cannae change the laws of physics. This is untrue. Antero Niittymaki can change the laws of physics.

*If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Nitty would ever compete against himself in each goal, he'd win. Period.

*The creators of the movie Matrix got their ideas for stunts while watching Antero Niittymaki stand in goal. They had to tone it down though, Nitty's moves were more advanced than the computer technology at that time could replicate.

*Nitty is never sick. Viruses and bacteria are too afraid to enter his body.

*The opening scene for "Saving Private Ryan" used a puck machine that Nitty uses for soft practice.

*Nitty recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

*Ice hockey don't have intermissions for each 20 min of play to wet the ice again, it's because they need to cool it down from Nitty being too hot.

*If at first you don't succeed, you're not Antero Niittymaki.

*The rocket was originally created because Antero Niittymaki needed a challenge. The scientists gave up trying to beat him and decided to aim the rocket upwards and fly into space instead.

*Jesus doesn't save, Nitty does.

*Earth scientists had for long wondered how to save the earth from dangerous meteors. That was until Antero Niittymaki was born.

*There is still a mystery if Nitty actually has a black hole planted in his glove.

*Nitty sometimes blindfolds himself before going out to the game to make it more challenging.

*Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. It hit Antero Niittymaki out for practice.

*Originally, ice hockey was invented by penguins, playing it very skillfully on the North Pole. Then Antero Niittymaki appeared and the penguins got so frustrated that they had to move to the other side of earth. They have never played hockey again.

*When Israel was bombarded by SCUDs in the Gulf War, Israel was defended by Patriot missiles. As of today, everyone agrees Antero Niittymaki should have been sent instead.

*Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Antero Niittymaki. He only has two needs: saving pucks and finding pucks to save.

* Antero Niittymaki once tried playing baseball as a pitcher. But he was banned from the game, because every time his glove smothered the ball before it came even close to the batter.

*The inventors of the condom wanted to name their creation " Antero Niittymaki ". This wasn't possible though, because the condom isn't 100% effective.

*There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Antero Niittymaki.

*A hockey player once dreamt that he scored a goal on Antero Niittymaki. Then he was awakened as he got sucked into a wormhole. Even dreaming of scoring a goal on Nitty causes a huge glitch in physical laws, logic and possibility.

*The particle accelerator, located in Switzerland and France, was created to try giving Antero Niittymaki a challenge.

*The minigun was also created to give Antero Niittymaki a challenge.

*Once Antero Niittymaki was on vacation and went to the Niagara Falls. He saved every drop for 3 hours and then got bored.

*In off-seasons, Nitty sometimes practices by catching landing aircrafts on military carriers.

*Phantom moves faster than lightning flash. Then Antero Niittymaki robbed Phantom of the puck.

*Lucky Luke shoots faster than his shadow, but then Nitty ruined everything and caught the bullet.

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:21 PM
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MojoJojo
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At this point Niitty is just potential and talent. His career thus far hasnt taken anyone's breath away. We expect him to be a very good goaltender, but really he's done nothing to put him even in the top half of the league's starters. Start posting about how he catches bullets when he gets his GAA below 2.0

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:29 PM
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Look out, it's the fun police!

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicto10 View Post
Look out, it's the fun police!
haha...exactly. i've been holding on to this for a while, just thought you guys might find it funny.

i apologize if it offends anyone

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:35 PM
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MojoJojo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicto10 View Post
Look out, it's the fun police!
Thats two minutes in the box for you for taunting the fun police.

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by MojoJojo View Post
Thats two minutes in the box for you for taunting the fun police.
Bogus call!!!

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Old
10-26-2006, 01:55 PM
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rayearth
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Do not taunt happy fun police!

Discontinue use of happy fun police if any of the following occurs:
  • Itching
  • Vertigo
  • Dizziness
  • Tingling in extremities
  • Loss of balance or coordination
  • Slurred speech
  • Temporary blindness
  • Profuse sweating
  • Heart palpitations

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Old
10-26-2006, 02:11 PM
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DickSmehlik
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Everyone of these was stolen from the legendary "Ryan Miller cured my leprosy" thread on ESPN last year. I hope your buddy didn't take credit for it.

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Old
10-26-2006, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabrescup07 View Post
Everyone of these was stolen from the legendary "Ryan Miller cured my leprosy" thread on ESPN last year. I hope your buddy didn't take credit for it.
no he didn't...actually someone from another forum ripped it off and wrote it about lundqvist...i just changed it from henrik to nitty

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Old
10-26-2006, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabrescup07 View Post
Everyone of these was stolen from the legendary "Ryan Miller cured my leprosy" thread on ESPN last year. I hope your buddy didn't take credit for it.
That was truly classic.

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Old
10-26-2006, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandre_Daigle View Post
That was truly classic.

Are you the sam Alexandre Daigle that used to post on ESPN? ESPN message boards have sunk to a new low. Too many trolls on there.

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Old
10-26-2006, 02:37 PM
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All the while, misspelling "Niitty"

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10-26-2006, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go kim johnsson 514 View Post
All the while, misspelling "Niitty"
actually, check the front of his mask...it's spelled "nitty," as far as i can tell

http://www.theepochtimes.com/news_im...12-7-nitty.jpg

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10-26-2006, 02:48 PM
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I found that quit entertaining!

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10-26-2006, 03:15 PM
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Funny stuff! Thanks for posting this.

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Old
10-26-2006, 05:03 PM
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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Antero Niittymaki pajamas.


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Old
10-26-2006, 11:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go kim johnsson 514 View Post
All the while, misspelling "Niitty"
It's Frank Nitty.

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10-26-2006, 11:36 PM
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Before the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Antero Niittymaki.

Seen on this board a while back... sorry can't credit who, but it always cracked me up

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Old
10-27-2006, 02:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabrescup07 View Post
Everyone of these was stolen from the legendary "Ryan Miller cured my leprosy" thread on ESPN last year. I hope your buddy didn't take credit for it.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
cry me a river

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10-27-2006, 04:45 AM
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I would have liked better the Robert Esche facts.

* If you put Robert Esche between two projectiles going in a straight line from A to B there will be zero effect on neither their speed or trajectory.

* Robert Esche's senses are so developped and accurate that he actually hears the other team's goals before he sees them on the jumbotron.

* Robert Esche doesn't need equipment.

* No matter how many simultaneous projectiles you fire at Robert Esche, the only way to hit him would be to inject him with horse tranquilizer.

* The bullet effect in Matrix was actually inspired by Robert Esche trying to be hit.

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Old
10-27-2006, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by easton122 View Post
It's Frank Nitty.
He's got 2 i's in his name dammit, it's too early for him to become Americanized

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Old
10-27-2006, 07:17 AM
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* The bullet effect in Matrix was actually inspired by Robert Esche trying to be hit.


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10-27-2006, 07:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go kim johnsson 514 View Post
He's got 2 i's in his name dammit, it's too early for him to become Americanized
Far too late, GKJ...Niittymaki became Americanized the moment he got the nickname "Nitty", regardless of how you spell it. I believe the "Y" in his name should be pronounced "oo" instead of "ee" - like Buffalo's Toni Loodman.

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10-27-2006, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go kim johnsson 514 View Post
He's got 2 i's in his name dammit, it's too early for him to become Americanized
Kiprusoff is Kipper, not Kiper.

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Old
10-27-2006, 07:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HFNHL Commish View Post
Far too late, GKJ...Niittymaki became Americanized the moment he got the nickname "Nitty", regardless of how you spell it. I believe the "Y" in his name should be pronounced "oo" instead of "ee" - like Buffalo's Toni Loodman.

My Finnish teacher pronouces it NEE-tew-mack(like the truck)-ee.
The i's are pronounced like and english long e, but held out longer because there are two of them.
The y is pronounced as ew.
The is pronounced like an american english short a, because of the umlaut.


Susanna


Last edited by Susanna: 10-27-2006 at 08:16 AM.
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