Vancouver...no question! Their window of opportunity is closing, with the core being one year older it would really hurt their chances of winning a Stanley Cup.
Funnily enough, they'd probably be hurt the most by a lost season, but would possibly be helped the most by a shortened one (Kesler).
I think Detroit benefits the most if the season is lost, players like Jurco, Nyquist, and Smith all get an extra year of seasoning in the AHL, which is infused with more NHL grade talent, but not enough to hinder their development. Add to this their lackluster offseason and the glut of cash they are sitting on going into next offseason, they could easily replace any departures with young 'overripe' prospects and spend to bluster with any vets they so choose.
As for who loses if the season is lost? Anaheim, Philly and Vancouver in my opinion. As was pointed out by others, Philly has a lot of youth that will be expecting raises, Vancouver's window for the cup with the current roster is only a couple more season, and Anaheim has 3 big names coming to UFA next season.
How about the rest of us that have to listen to all the maple leaf fans tout how great they are without the reality of them being in last place?
I think you're misconstruing joke posts and Toronto fans are well aware of our woes over the last 7 years. When your fanbase is this large, there's bound to be a couple of knuckleheads but generalizing all of us isn't the answer.
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Why/how in the world would Los angeles get hurt by a lockout? Fans would, because we wanna see those banners raised as soon as possible, but not the organization.