George Costanza's Suggestion: Switch to cotton uniforms!
It is obvious that we have found every excuse in the book and pointed the finger to nearly every member of the franchise for our team's recent downfalls...
"Gomez is a slouch!" .... "Martin shows no emotion" ... "Gauthier is terrible" ... "We are too small" ... "Blair Betts was suppose to be our saviour" ... "The System doesn't work" ... "Carey Price changes his helmet design way too often" ... "Why did we re-sign Markov over the Wizz?" ... "We can't fight!" ... Etc.
Throughout this entire time, we have turned the blind eye at the obvious problem...The Polyester uniforms must go!
Polyester is a fabric that tends to retain heat in comparison to cotton. It does not breath! It has been proven by none other than the legendary George Costanza ( The New York Yankees' assistant to the traveling secretary from the sitcom, Seinfeld) that changing fabrics will improve our on-ice results. Just look at our players on the bench during whistles... They are completely out of energy, fatigued, sweaty and powerless. This can be directly linked to polyester; the heat-absorbing fabric. If you also factor in all the plastic equipment that is worn under the uniforms, logic would say that it only multiplies the heat accumulation, thus wearing out our players quicker.
By switching from polyester uniforms to cotton ones, George Costanza's studies indicate that our players would be 5 degrees cooler than the opposing team. Our players will be more focused since they won't have to worry of excessive heat build-up in their gear and they will also be much more comfortable since cotton is softer, fluffier, and breaths better! We will have a true competitive advantage.
Jeff Molson must be notified as soon as possible before the season slips away. a winning streak is right around the corner, all it takes is a switch from Polyester to cotton!