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Old
01-27-2012, 01:36 PM
  #1
Foppa Frossa
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New Rules (no not forum rules)

Inspired by Bill Maher's TV segment, what are some of the new rules that should be put in place for the Avs/Coaches/Management/Fans after the All-Star break?

New Rule: "Nobody gets to leave after a game or practice until Ryan O'Reilly leaves"

New Rule: "Matt Duchene must have at least a 1:1 shot to spin-o-rama ratio"

New Rule: "If you mail it in for a couple of games before the all-star-break, don't brag about going on vacation or have pictures of you posing in front of a Ferrari on twitter."

New Rule: "Avs must have a higher SOG than shots blocked. Let's try a different offensive strategy than cycling down low for a bit only to pass it to the point and have the shot blocked"

New Rule: "2012 first round pick is gone. Deal with it."

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01-27-2012, 01:45 PM
  #2
Freudian
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New Rule: Cody McCleod should focus more on getting the number from the ladies than getting guys in the numbers.

New Rule: Gabriel Landeskog has to shout "timber" before falling on top of goalies.

New Rule: Altitude needs to hire a guy that slaps McNab and Haynes every time they spend longer than ten seconds telling a hockey anecdote during play.

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Old
01-27-2012, 02:50 PM
  #3
Congo Jack
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New Rule: Stastny is to blame for all of your troubles.

New Rule: Porter can and will break your kneecaps.

New Rule: Always set up Mcleod for breakaways.

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Old
01-27-2012, 06:06 PM
  #4
Av-merican
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New Rule: Altitude must have a "Sunshine and Rainbows" meter on the screen that limits the amount of praise/positive commentary they can heap on the Avs. Once that is used up, constructive criticism must ensue.

New Rule: Avs must employ a mascot that doesn't suck.

New Rule: Headshots that result in concussions and are deemed to be predatory and/or intentional will result not in a suspension, but instead the offending player skating out to center ice sans jockstrap while the opposing team is allowed to take slapshots for ten seconds.

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Old
01-27-2012, 06:12 PM
  #5
Congo Jack
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New Rule: All mascots are required to punch out atleast one Red wings fan.

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Old
01-27-2012, 07:21 PM
  #6
Foppa Frossa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Av-merican View Post

New Rule: Avs must employ a mascot that doesn't suck.
OT: Back in high school, one of the guys in my physics class (that I took with Peter McNab's daughter), had Howler come to class as a way to ask a girl to homecoming. The overhead projector screen was pulled down so that it covered most of the entryway, so he just kind of did a military assault roll into the class. It scared the crap out of me Also I had planned on asking the same girl to homecoming And yes, Bernie sucks.

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Old
01-27-2012, 09:58 PM
  #7
WarriorOfGandhi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverAv View Post
New Rule: All mascots are required to punch out atleast one Red wings fan.
signed

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Old
01-28-2012, 10:23 PM
  #8
dahrougem2
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New Rule: Every Avs player must adopt the "Joe Sacco look" while on the bench, and are not allowed to defer from this look until on the ice

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Old
01-28-2012, 11:07 PM
  #9
Granlund2Pulkkinen*
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New Rule: Next year's first round pick will always be your team's greatest pick of all-time.

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