It's amazing how a team with so many first overall picks can still be so miserable. Newsflash: just being the team that first had Gretzky doesn't give you a free pass from ever trying again. Maybe you should actually put some effort into making a good team again. Or are you hoping to finish in the top 3 for another 10 years so you can have enough lottery picks to actually put a team out there again. Or you could try to attract some free agents. Pick up some defense and goaltending and we'll talk again next year.
I feel that we should mock ourselves last to make it fair. But this is hilarious.
Jeez, PE. I know you go to that cow college in the Upstate but you'd think they'd teach you how to read. How else can you tell Bessie from Bossie from Elsie?
Guys, remember when we won the cup in '99. Yeah, that's SO last century, we need a new look. How's about we make a logo that has nothing to do with anything aside from the female reproductive system and add colors that aren't part of our scheme:
Alright, scrap that. We need a guy with a history of concussions. Anyone available? Lindros, eh? PERFECT! But that's not dumb enough, we need a guy who's gonna get a DUI while driving on 3 tires and a rim. GO GET BARNABY!
You're saying those decisions sucked horribly? Ok fine, let's give Sean Avery 4 million dollars a year. He'll never say anything so asinine BEFORE a game that will get him suspended, right? Oh, that's not gonna work?
Fine, let's release the two players that anyone outside of Dallas has ever heard of. That'll help the fan base, right? Dallas Stars, consider yourselves mocked.
Seriously, if there's one GM that was noted for genius under the old rules that's now been noted as one giant failboat since then, it has to be Lou. I mean have you guys even made it past the first round in the last 5 years? Oh sure, you got Kovalchuk... but on a contract that was so ****ed up that the league penalized you a ****ing first and fined you 3 million in the process. Hell, that contract alone is enough to get the league talking closing the cap circumvention loopholes with the next CBA so congrats on ruining it for everyone else.
Oh, and you're probably gonna lose Parise this offseason, congrats on that too.
Devils, consider yourselves mocked.
PS: Good luck finding a replacement for Marty. He's got, what, one or two years left in him? Yeah have fun with figuring out one out. Maybe you can go and offer Corey Schneider a 17 year contract.
Seriously, if there's one GM that was noted for genius under the old rules that's now been noted as one giant failboat since then, it has to be Lou. I mean have you guys even made it past the first round in the last 5 years? Oh sure, you got Kovalchuk... but on a contract that was so ****ed up that the league penalized you a ****ing first and fined you 3 million in the process. Hell, that contract alone is enough to get the league talking closing the "cap circumvention" loopholes with the next CBA so congrats on ruining it for everyone else.
Oh, and you're probably gonna lose Parise this offseason, congrats on that too.
Devils, consider yourselves mocked.
Sorry Dave, but not enough of a mocking. No mention of Marty, the giant fail that is the Rock, that the team has relocated three times, and of course, everybody's favorite round mound of fail, Chico Resch?
The expansion team founded in 1993 that is located 35 minutes south of you won the cup in it's 14th season. You have been in the league for 45 years and are cupless. LA Kings, consider yourselves mocked.
Jeez, PE. I know you go to that cow college in the Upstate but you'd think they'd teach you how to read. How else can you tell Bessie from Bossie from Elsie?
I only did it to get you to comment on it...let's go with that. I was missing your typical shots at Clemson and everything.
Besides, I wanted to be able to claim it because I knew exactly what I was going to say. I figured somebody else would steal it otherwise.
There are so many things that can be said, but let's start with the obvious. You finished first or close to that for a while and could barely make it out of the first round each time. That's saying something. You never even built any kind of rivalry with any team. Now you are barely squeaking into the playoffs even after you finally got the goaltending you wanted. And how about the great 8? Not even in the top 30 in point getters.
Also, nice going with the Semin contract, it's obviously working out well.
But the best thing about this year was the hiring of Dale Hunter. With all the other options out there you go with one of the dirtiest players in NHL history. A real leader to get guys like Ovechkin and Semin back to top form.
