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04-13-2012, 03:42 PM
  #1
BoldNewLettuce
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Top 60 (now with random comments)

PickTEAM Pos Name DOB HT WT L/R Team Nat League  
1 F Nail Yakupov 06-OCT-93 5.11 180 L Sarnia Sting RUS OHL "Dances In" and "Undresses him" will be key hockey metaphors to use when doing play-by-play for the Oilers high octane skill. A team that knows how to "prime your pump" before it sleeps with you and never calls you again.
2 D Ryan Murray 27-SEP-93 6.00 182 L Everett Silvertips CAN WHL With the mutually assured destruction of their current captain well under way, Howson may have caught the "scent of a lesser stag".
3 F Mikhail Grigorenko 16-MAY-94 6.02 192 L CSKA Moscow RUS MHL Size and skill, likely something Ste. Catherine goers are sorely lacking in, will be the pick and the two-year precursor to Roy's first NHL coaching position.
4 F Alex Galchenyuk 12-FEB-94 6.00 185 L Sarnia Sting USA OHL Isles need a defender...but elite talent is elite talent. "Galywags", as he will come to be known, gives them a one, two, three, four punch down the middle. A concept only the Isles would dare consider.
5 F Filip Forsberg 13-AUG-94 6.01 176 R Leksand SWE SuperElit The Leafs have been desperate for some Swedish ever since they saw Mats Sundin on PokerStars that one time. "Nasty Naz" and "Filthy Phil" just aren't filling the void.
6 D Mathew Dumba 25-JUL-94 5.11 172 R Red Deer Rebels CAN WHL There is only one way to skin a cat...and that is with...another cat. With dynamic offensive wizards Fowler and Dumba leading the charge, the Ducks are going to break hearts...and possibly kneecaps.
7D Jacob Trouba 26-FEB-94 6.01183R USA NTDP U17 USA USHLTo Troub' or not to Troub'? For Minnesota, the answer is laced with poison. Dudes' might prefer a scorer...but the siren song of the home-state physical two-way defender is too much for any man to resist.
8 F Teuvo Teravainen 11-SEP-94 5.10 161 L Jokerit FIN Jr.A In Carolina, the secret Finnish conspiracy continues. Hopefully he brings some smoked fish and blood sausage.
9 F Sebastian Collberg 23-FEB-94 6.00 180 R Frolunda SWE SuperElit The Jets are well stocked with one 'berg in the system...why not make it a pair? Some would suggest they definately take one of the skilled defenceman...but I say they trade for that other 'berg and make 'er a trifecta.
10 D Morgan Rielly 09-MAR-94 6.00 190 L Moose Jaw Warriors CAN WHL Stevie Y. Has dreams about this moment. Weird dreams. Tampa takes this pick all the way to the bank...and then around back behind the bank to have sex with it.
11 F Zemgus Girgensons 05-JAN-94 6.01 182 L Dubuque Fighting Saints LAT USHL As the prominent Russian saying goes "eleven people cannot say no to a Latvian". A big two-way centre is all beans to the Caps.
12 D Griffin Reinhart 24-JAN-94 6.04 202 L Edmonton Oil Kings CAN WHL Buffalo has a horrid season behind them, ahead of them, under them but another big two-way guy to pair with Myers is so much boss it'll fire you.
13 F Brendan Gaunce 25-MAR-94 6.02 205 L Belleville Bulls CAN OHL Another big forward for Dallas to get it's stink on with. Your move....other teams....
14 F Radek Faksa 9-JAN-94 6.02 183 L Trinec CZE Cze U20 Feaster might as well be arrested for black magic if this happens. Faksa at 15 is all beans. Maybe someone should arrest Feaster regardless though.
15F Scott Kosmachuk 24-JAN-946177 GuelphCANOHLWhy take Kosmachuk? The only reason Brian Murray does anything.....to piss off Brian Burke. Much success.
16 F Martin Frk 05-OCT-93 5.11 190 R Halifax Mooseheads CZE QMJHL With the imminent departure of Semin...a RW might be a good idea....regardless of the reach...and if they can wait for what could be a process.
17 D Olli Maatta 22-AUG-94 6.01 198 L D Team / FIN U20 FIN Mestis Adding prospects to the Panthers system is like throwing feces at a monkey throwing feces at you....still...Maatta is a solid addition to Gudbranson/Kulikov.
18 D Derrick Pouliot 16-JAN-94 5.11 192 L Portland Winterhawks CAN WHL Classic reversal of prospect depth. Nash, Zherdev, Fritsche into Murray, Savard, Pouliot. You have been cursed by a gypsy.
19 D Cody Ceci 21-DEC-93 6.02 203 R Ottawa 67's CAN OHL Major coup. You will be dead by his hand, Dan Boyle.
20 D Pontus Aberg 23-SEP-93 5.11 187 R Djurgarden SWE SEL The Jets will be unable to complete their trifecta of 'bergs and the 'Yotes will add a skilled winger and fellow countryman of their soon to be franchise player.
21CHI D Slater Koekkoek 18-FEB-94 6.02 180 L Peterborough Petes CAN OHL Chi-town needs Koek-squared. The city will not survive without him.
22 D Jordan Schmaltz 08-OCT-93 6.02 175 R Sioux City Musketeers USA USHL H to the izzo will be playing on his iphone when his agent texts him to let him know he has been drafted to the New Jersey devils.
23 F Stefan Matteau 23-FEB-94 6.01 188 L USA NTDP U17 USA USHLWith so much success in his first pick Stevie Y. Will appease the hockey gods by flubbing this next one (not taking a goalie) and take an eventual massive upgrade on Steve Downie.
24 D Brady Skjei 26-MAR-94 6.01 183 L USA NTDP U17 USA USHLScouts and analysts everywhere will strip naked and dance around the may-pole as their prospect is indeed selected in the first round. Later, they will bleed a young lamb and drink of its life essence.
25 GK Andrei Vasilevski 25-JUL-94 6.03 200 L Ufa RUS MHL Bryz can mentor this young pup until he is ready to meet another wolf in the wild. Preferably in the form of a hockey game.
26BUF F Jarrod Maidens 04-MAR-94 6.02 170 R Owen Sound Attack CAN OHL With the Sabres in definate need of more stink palming (sans Gaustad)...Maidens may follow in his footsteps as "the most anoying Sabre in recent memory to play against". It is also a fantastic idea to spend a 1st rounder on a first round nickname. Jarrod "Iron" Maidens....ignore the first 2/3 of this description.
27PIT F Henrik Samuelsson 07-FEB-94 6.02 192 R Edmonton USA WHL Yet another gypsy curse. The Pittsburgh Penguins will forever need to draft wingers.
28STL D Dalton Thrower 20-DEC-93 6.00 195 R Saskatoon Blades CAN WHL The Blues are all over that like Bacon on OTHERBacon. Cholestorol be DAMNED!
29NYR F Tomas Hertl 11-DEC-93 6.03 187 L Slavia Praha CZE Cze U20 Well...****sauce. The Rags are in need of more skill...and they have a profinity for Czechs. Hertl has no business being this far down...so Sather is down like charlie brown.
30VAND Hampus Lindholm 20-01-946.02185LRogle Jr.SWESWE-JR.Hampus squeeks into the top 30. Chaos ensues.

PickTEAM Pos Name DOB HT WT L/R Team Nat League  
31CBJ GK Malcolm Subban 21-DEC-93 6.00 178 L Belleville Bulls CAN OHL Slighted by the lottery...Howson attempts to make a splash by drafting one of the most talented players at their position in Malcolm Subban. Unfortunately no one was paying attention.
32EDM F Tom Wilson 29-MAR-94 6.04 195 R Plymouth Whalers CAN OHL Tom Wilson has the perfect amount of terrible to bring the Oilers back down to Earth. This selection is Karma.
33MTL F Matia Marcantuoni 22-FEB-94 5.11 185 R Kitchener Rangers CAN OHL The Habs need a proper Italian to deal with the mob. Matia will be running the town in no time.
34NYI D Ville Pokka 03-JUN-94 6.00 187 R Karpat FIN Jr.A Snow somehow lucks into a good strategy.... the Isles are picking D in the 2nd (a wise choice)...Pokka is a good pick.
35TOR F Nicolas Kerdiles 11-JAN-94 6.01 183 L USA NTDP U17 USA USHLWith Kosmachuk gone...and Burke emotionally shattered... Dave Nonis takes matters into his own hands and selects Kerdiles...(at least he is American).
36ANA F Scott Laughton 30-MAY-94 6.00 174 L Oshawa Generals CAN OHL Ducks are laughing...or are they laugh-ting?....aha aha ahahaha.
37TBFColton Sissons 05-NOV-936.01189R KelownaCANWHLEntering steal territory. Do not go near the highway. Sissons adds exactly what the Doctor ordered....if said Doctor....inexplicably...ordered some sort of mid-range powerforward.
38CAR D Matt Finn 24-FEB-94 6.00 197 L Guelph Storm CAN OHL How does Matt Finn make it this far? That is a story only Matt Finn can tell....Carolina is now fat and stupid with defenseman and they are probably starting to loose circulation to their extremeties.
39WIN D Michael Matheson 27-FEB-94 6.01 175 L Lac St. Louis Lions CAN QMAAA Stiill in steal territory....non-stealing on the horizon. Jets do well to add another Dman....as their defending ability is dreadfully horrid.
40TBFMike Winther 09-JAN-945.11175LPrince AlbertCANWHLQuality pick. Stevie is in a great position to ruin.
41COLD Ludvig Bystrom020-JUL0946.01208LMODOSWESE-jr18Pretty much the end of stealtown. Bystrom is huge in this range. Great haul for the Avs.
42BUFF Tanner Pearson 10-AUG-926.02198LBarrieCANOHLPearson may be ready...may suck. The slugs will solve that conundrum shortly.
43DAL F Coda Gordon 25-FEB-94 6.01 179 L Swift Current CAN WHL The Stars are adding some sweet offense in the mid-2nd, could be a winner.
44BUF F Nikolai Prokhorkin 17-SEP-93 6.02 183 L CSKA Moscow RUS MHL Is it ballsy in here? Drafting a relatively unheralded Russian definitely will require "a pair". Still this guy could be Fedotenko 2.0....or 1.0...or 0.5...
45CBJ F Cristoval Nieves 23-JAN-94 6.02 175 L Kent Prep School USA US-HS The Jackets can ill afford to not draft someone by nickname...."Boo" might be a winner.
46MIN D Damon Severson 07-AUG-94 6.01 188 R Kelowna Rockets CAN WHL The Wild luck out hard with a good character player. Real Hard. Consider the D-pool full.
47TB GK Oscar Dansk 28-FEB-94 6.02 183 L Brynas SWE SuperElit Stevie with another gem. We shall rue them for it....commence rueing.
48DAL F Gemel Smith 16-APR-945.1160LOwen SoundCANOHLNieuwendyk takes a risk on a heart and soul guy to replace the void left in Morrow's wake IF he can score...that is..
49CAR F Brady Vail 11-MAR-94 6.01 190 L Windsor Spitfires USA OHL OK size, they can probably play him with Sutter and move one of them to the wing.
50PHX F Daniil Zharkov 06-FEB-94 6.03 195 L Tri-City Storm RUS USHL 'Yotes get a player. Unfortunately they are too busy bleeding money to incorporate him into any sort of "plan".
51CHIF Lukas Sutter 04-OCT-93 6.00 199 L Saskatoon Blades USA WHL Feel free to add to your sweet stack of bottom six players......you jackasses...and a nostalgia pick nonetheless.
52NJ D Calle Andersson 16-MAY-94 6.01 194 R Malmo 52 SWE SuperElit Good chance to pick a dance partner for Larsson....maybe...
53DET D Patrick Sieloff 15-MAY-94 6.00 173 L USA NTDP U17 USA Wings, as per usual, snake their way into a quality pick....the gods are angry...but will let is slide, as per usual.
54WASF Philip Di Giuseppe 09-OCT-936176LU of MichiganCANCCHAAnother quality pick. Unfortunately it is awarded to the Capitals. This might be highway robbery at 54. All beans.
55SJ D Brian Cooper 01-NOV-93 5.09 176 L Fargo Force USA USHL The Sharks can rest easy knowing young-stalwart Brian Cooper is defending. Maybe not, but IMO he's the best dman in the USHL outside of Trouba. (and yet ranked lower than schmaltz and skjei)
56TB F Andreas Athanasiou 06-AUG-94 6.00 165 L London Knights CAN OHL Athanasiou with Tampa is potentially absolutely horrifying.
57MTL F Brian Hart 25-NOV-93 6.01 190 R Phillips Exeter Academy USA US-HS [Insert some sort of wrestling joke]. If they can resist the urge to take a frenchman...then Hart is a quality pick for the Habs.
58PIT F Anton Slepyshev 13-MAY-94 6.00 160 R Novokuznetsk RUS KHL A gamble by the pens but more wingers are in order...not to mention they have had some luck with Russians
59STLD Timothy Bozon 24-MAR-94 6.01 178 L Kamloops SWI WHL Bozon is all beans at 59. They could use another scorer as well as the nostalgia factor.
60NYR F Zach Stepan 06-JAN-94 6.00 170 L Shattuck St. Mary's USA US-HS The Rags hope the Stepan cousins are capable of fusing together to form some sort of super-player....alas...that is impossible.
61VAND Adam Pelech 16-AUG-94 6.02 210 L Erie CAN OHL The Canucks take a physical defender to round out the crew. Suffice it say...they have slept through this draft.

HMs to Ebert, Fox, Blujus, Lundberg and whoever I forget.


Last edited by BoldNewLettuce: 04-13-2012 at 06:03 PM.
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Old
04-13-2012, 03:58 PM
  #2
KrisBeKreame
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I like it. Alex Galchenyuk and Ville Pokka? Sign me up.

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Old
04-13-2012, 04:52 PM
  #3
FlareKnight
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A pretty solid mock. Clearly the only way to bring the Leafs out of the pit is to replace Sundin with a skilled Swedish forward . No issue with the Kerdiles pick either. Get out of the first 2 rounds with a couple forwards.

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04-13-2012, 05:55 PM
  #4
Rare Jewel
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I don't agree on the order, But it was a good read.

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Old
04-13-2012, 06:06 PM
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DuckJet
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Funny stuff. Like the picks for my two teams


Last edited by DuckJet: 04-13-2012 at 06:52 PM. Reason: Brainfart. TML picked Kerdiles......********.
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Old
04-13-2012, 06:18 PM
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jas
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The Rangers have an affinity for Czechs...funny, their NHL squad has no Czechs on it, and the only Czech prospect they've recently drafted is Peter Ceresrnak. If you want a better gauge on how the Rangers will draft, look at the team's identity and recent drafting trends...try American forwards with a high compete level and strong skating ability.

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04-13-2012, 06:29 PM
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BoldNewLettuce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jas View Post
The Rangers have an affinity for Czechs...funny, their NHL squad has no Czechs on it, and the only Czech prospect they've recently drafted is Peter Ceresrnak. If you want a better gauge on how the Rangers will draft, look at the team's identity and recent drafting trends...try American forwards with a high compete level and strong skating ability.
I said "PROfinity" ...look it up.

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04-13-2012, 06:44 PM
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jas
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Quote:
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I said "PROfinity" ...look it up.
I did...all I saw was an offer for a MasterCard and a free credit report.

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04-13-2012, 07:06 PM
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Ottawa needs defensemen not RW tbh.

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04-14-2012, 02:44 AM
  #10
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Comments are hilarious. Aberg and Zharkov make this Coyotes fan happy.

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04-14-2012, 08:00 AM
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WPG picks Faksa over Collberg

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04-14-2012, 10:12 AM
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Oilers will pick Sissons over Wilson I bet

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04-14-2012, 12:03 PM
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MattSens65
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How come Murray is draft eligible in 2012 and born in september '93? Isn't the rule October 1st minimum?

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04-14-2012, 12:46 PM
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How come Murray is draft eligible in 2012 and born in september '93? Isn't the rule October 1st minimum?

September 15th

Good mock BTW

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04-14-2012, 12:56 PM
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StormSurge9
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First time I have seen Kosmachuk that high, I love it.

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04-14-2012, 01:14 PM
  #16
SeenSchenn2
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Would be happy with any of Forsberg/Galchenyuk/Murray at 5.

No Jake McCabe though? He's a riser IMO, early-mid 2nd round.

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04-14-2012, 02:22 PM
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MattSens65
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Quote:
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September 15th

Good mock BTW
Oh, thanks man.

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04-14-2012, 03:08 PM
  #18
BoxOfChocolates
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I would love Ludvig Bystrom.

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04-14-2012, 05:42 PM
  #19
EpicNeilTime
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I like Kosmachuk but I can't see us passing Ceci or Poulliot. I'd also take Scissons over Kosmachuk

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04-14-2012, 11:53 PM
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BobMarleyNYR
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Honestly, the overt sexual innuendo is actually extremely creepy, especially when you're discussing barely legal (some illegal) boys.

That aside, very witty--especially with you're creation of a new word with the NYR pick!

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04-15-2012, 02:14 AM
  #21
Seto
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How drunk were you when you wrote this?

I doubt Columbus takes Murray over one of the Big Four Forwards.

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04-15-2012, 03:13 PM
  #22
SPG
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Trouba is from Michigan.

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Old
04-15-2012, 08:14 PM
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Dr John Carlson
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I'd be very sad if the Caps took Girgensons with Faksa still available...still good mock.

That TB 1st round pick....uhhh....not sure how to read into that comment...


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04-16-2012, 01:08 AM
  #24
Prussian_Blue
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I predict that monkeys will fly out of my hind end before the Blues would pass over Tomas Hertl if he was still on the board when they pick.

Like the Bozon pick in the second round, though.

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04-16-2012, 02:12 AM
  #25
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I will always support drafting a Stepan (though I know nothing of this one).


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