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The Eklund Translation Thread

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Old
07-12-2012, 07:38 PM
  #1
Drew75
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The Eklund Translation Thread

Ok - I'll confess ...

A few whiskeys on the patio after work + the wife not being home + absolutely NO interesting hockey news = this thread.

Sorry

I will admit that I sometimes read Eklund - but confess it's just to laugh because he's so damn obvious and off base. To all of those posters who occasionally sneak through and start a thread based on an Eklund rumour - I dedicate this to you:

Eklund Says: "I have from a solid source within the Leafs organization..."
Translation: "I follow Paul Hendrick, Mike Ulmer, and 3 MLSE ushers on twitter."

Eklund Says: "I can't give any details right now, but the Leafs are working a huge deal..."
Translation: "I need hits to my website"

Eklund Says: "Let me tell you how this works. You see, I talk to many sources every day...."
Translation: "I'm going to give a long, drawn out speel about sources and such, none of which is new to anybody, and I'm going to lace it with about 14 loop-holes so I can't be proven wrong ... well ... because it makes me sound important and that gives me a woody"

Eklund Says: "My sources tell me the Leafs are working on a deal to bring in a number one centre"
Translation: "I just watched Darren Dreger on TSN say the Leafs need a number one centre this off season"

Eklund Says: "I'm going to travelling to <insert key hockey event> so won't be able to post for a while..."
Translation: "I'm sitting in front of my computer in my mothers basement with a bottle of Jergins, a box of kleenex, and a naked picture of Betty White ... this is going to be fun!"

What are your favorite "Eklund Moments"?

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07-12-2012, 07:50 PM
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Paris in Flames
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Eklund's greatest moment was posting that the Kessel to Toronto deal wasn't close about 4 minutes before it was officially announced.

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Old
07-12-2012, 07:57 PM
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Grant
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paris in Flames View Post
Eklund's greatest moment was posting that the Kessel to Toronto deal wasn't close about 4 minutes before it was officially announced.
You forgot more recently about Philly and Toronto talking but not about JVR and Schenn, and then they got traded, for each other.

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Old
07-12-2012, 07:59 PM
  #4
Phion Keneuf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paris in Flames View Post
Eklund's greatest moment was posting that the Kessel to Toronto deal wasn't close about 4 minutes before it was officially announced.
There was a trade recently in which he said that it wasn't close AFTER the trade got made

I forgot which one tho

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Old
07-12-2012, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Paris in Flames View Post
Eklund's greatest moment was posting that the Kessel to Toronto deal wasn't close about 4 minutes before it was officially announced.
Ah, but time moves much slower in Eklund's command center. So according to his perception of reality, the Kessel deal wasn't close at the time.

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Old
07-12-2012, 08:06 PM
  #6
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eklund is an idiot, but people still visit his site...and threads like this only help make him more popular - no press is bad press as they say

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07-12-2012, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Mansfield View Post
eklund is an idiot, but people still visit his site...and threads like this only help make him more popular - no press is bad press as they say
His website may get hits, but I'm sure he wants to be taken seriously. Unfortunately for him, that isn't happening.

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Old
07-12-2012, 08:20 PM
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Grant
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Originally Posted by Mansfield View Post
eklund is an idiot, but people still visit his site...and threads like this only help make him more popular - no press is bad press as they say
I will admit I visit his site. Basically summarizes everything that is actually being talked about and teams needs.

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Old
07-12-2012, 08:52 PM
  #9
Drew311
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My favourite Eklund moment was when Bryan Hayes was talking about Eklund on his TSN radio show, basically ripping him for being a fraud. Which prompted Eklund to actually call into the show to defend himself. So Hayes and Eklund discussed his site and how he comes up with these 'rumours' for about 10 minutes, and at the end of the interview Hayes said "well....you keep making that money". Lol

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Old
07-12-2012, 09:08 PM
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number72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew75 View Post
Ok - I'll confess ...

A few whiskeys on the patio after work + the wife not being home + absolutely NO interesting hockey news = this thread.

Sorry

I will admit that I sometimes read Eklund - but confess it's just to laugh because he's so damn obvious and off base. To all of those posters who occasionally sneak through and start a thread based on an Eklund rumour - I dedicate this to you:

Eklund Says: "I have from a solid source within the Leafs organization..."
Translation: "I follow Paul Hendrick, Mike Ulmer, and 3 MLSE ushers on twitter."

Eklund Says: "I can't give any details right now, but the Leafs are working a huge deal..."
Translation: "I need hits to my website"

Eklund Says: "Let me tell you how this works. You see, I talk to many sources every day...."
Translation: "I'm going to give a long, drawn out speel about sources and such, none of which is new to anybody, and I'm going to lace it with about 14 loop-holes so I can't be proven wrong ... well ... because it makes me sound important and that gives me a woody"

Eklund Says: "My sources tell me the Leafs are working on a deal to bring in a number one centre"
Translation: "I just watched Darren Dreger on TSN say the Leafs need a number one centre this off season"

Eklund Says: "I'm going to travelling to <insert key hockey event> so won't be able to post for a while..."
Translation: "I'm sitting in front of my computer in my mothers basement with a bottle of Jergins, a box of kleenex, and a naked picture of Betty White ... this is going to be fun!"

What are your favorite "Eklund Moments"?
Brilliant. This is great. Please do a similar for Burkism too

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Old
07-12-2012, 09:18 PM
  #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew311 View Post
My favourite Eklund moment was when Bryan Hayes was talking about Eklund on his TSN radio show, basically ripping him for being a fraud. Which prompted Eklund to actually call into the show to defend himself. So Hayes and Eklund discussed his site and how he comes up with these 'rumours' for about 10 minutes, and at the end of the interview Hayes said "well....you keep making that money". Lol

Wish I heard that lol.

Eklund is a moron. Every off season the Leafs are about to land a huge player.

This year- Getzlaf
Last year- Stamkos
Few years ago- Cammelleri

Can't believe people frequent his site.

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Old
07-12-2012, 09:23 PM
  #12
DeputyMcLaren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew75 View Post
Ok - I'll confess ...

A few whiskeys on the patio after work + the wife not being home + absolutely NO interesting hockey news = this thread.

Sorry

I will admit that I sometimes read Eklund - but confess it's just to laugh because he's so damn obvious and off base. To all of those posters who occasionally sneak through and start a thread based on an Eklund rumour - I dedicate this to you:

Eklund Says: "I have from a solid source within the Leafs organization..."
Translation: "I follow Paul Hendrick, Mike Ulmer, and 3 MLSE ushers on twitter."

Eklund Says: "I can't give any details right now, but the Leafs are working a huge deal..."
Translation: "I need hits to my website"

Eklund Says: "Let me tell you how this works. You see, I talk to many sources every day...."
Translation: "I'm going to give a long, drawn out speel about sources and such, none of which is new to anybody, and I'm going to lace it with about 14 loop-holes so I can't be proven wrong ... well ... because it makes me sound important and that gives me a woody"

Eklund Says: "My sources tell me the Leafs are working on a deal to bring in a number one centre"
Translation: "I just watched Darren Dreger on TSN say the Leafs need a number one centre this off season"

Eklund Says: "I'm going to travelling to <insert key hockey event> so won't be able to post for a while..."
Translation: "I'm sitting in front of my computer in my mothers basement with a bottle of Jergins, a box of kleenex, and a naked picture of Betty White ... this is going to be fun!"

What are your favorite "Eklund Moments"?
Have more Whiskeys after work, and tell the woman to leave the house more often. This thread made my day. Kudos sir.

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Old
07-12-2012, 10:50 PM
  #13
Drew75
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Originally Posted by Brownstache View Post
Have more Whiskeys after work, and tell the woman to leave the house more often. This thread made my day. Kudos sir.
I'll ask the wife, lol.

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Old
07-12-2012, 10:59 PM
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diceman934
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew75 View Post
Ok - I'll confess ...

A few whiskeys on the patio after work + the wife not being home + absolutely NO interesting hockey news = this thread.

Sorry

I will admit that I sometimes read Eklund - but confess it's just to laugh because he's so damn obvious and off base. To all of those posters who occasionally sneak through and start a thread based on an Eklund rumour - I dedicate this to you:

Eklund Says: "I have from a solid source within the Leafs organization..."
Translation: "I follow Paul Hendrick, Mike Ulmer, and 3 MLSE ushers on twitter."

Eklund Says: "I can't give any details right now, but the Leafs are working a huge deal..."
Translation: "I need hits to my website"

Eklund Says: "Let me tell you how this works. You see, I talk to many sources every day...."
Translation: "I'm going to give a long, drawn out speel about sources and such, none of which is new to anybody, and I'm going to lace it with about 14 loop-holes so I can't be proven wrong ... well ... because it makes me sound important and that gives me a woody"

Eklund Says: "My sources tell me the Leafs are working on a deal to bring in a number one centre"
Translation: "I just watched Darren Dreger on TSN say the Leafs need a number one centre this off season"

Eklund Says: "I'm going to travelling to <insert key hockey event> so won't be able to post for a while..."
Translation: "I'm sitting in front of my computer in my mothers basement with a bottle of Jergins, a box of kleenex, and a naked picture of Betty White ... this is going to be fun!"

What are your favorite "Eklund Moments"?

Too Funny! Thanks for the laugh.

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Old
07-13-2012, 12:35 AM
  #15
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Originally Posted by Constant Gardiner View Post
Wish I heard that lol.

Eklund is a moron. Every off season the Leafs are about to land a huge player.

This year- Getzlaf
Last year- Stamkos
Few years ago- Cammelleri

Can't believe people frequent his site.

This past season a couple of weeks prior to the trade deadline he announced that the Leafs had gotten their man (presumably a #1 center) and that all that was left was to submit the paperwork to the league and then announce the trade. It was a done deal and was a blockbuster. We're still waiting on that one.

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Old
07-13-2012, 12:56 AM
  #16
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My fav was when he reported that an Ovechkin to Nashville deal was really close haha

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Old
07-13-2012, 01:03 AM
  #17
BayStBullies
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Note for new users: there is no reason to quote the OP in a thread; everyone is aware of which thread your comment is directed towards....

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Old
07-13-2012, 05:00 AM
  #18
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Originally Posted by number72 View Post
Brilliant. This is great. Please do a similar for Burkism too
Someone has an unhealthy obsession with BB. Does it give you a certain sense of euphoria when slagging off Burke?

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Old
07-13-2012, 05:12 AM
  #19
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Originally Posted by BayStBullies View Post
Note for new users: there is no reason to quote the OP in a thread; everyone is aware of which thread your comment is directed towards....
Thanks! 2 of the 3 who did that have been here longer then you, but I guess we need someone to correct us on forum etiquette, spelling, grammar. Maybe try to add to the disscussion, this is a hockey forum!

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Old
07-13-2012, 08:56 AM
  #20
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I remeber he said e4 to brad richards coming to toronto.

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Old
07-13-2012, 09:10 AM
  #21
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Originally Posted by number72 View Post
Brilliant. This is great. Please do a similar for Burkism too
Burke: nothing is imminent, but I'm working the phones

LeafsNation: jeebus I hope Burke can swing a deal for a #1 centre who can make that line really hum

LeafLanders: OMG that idjit Burke is going to sell the farm and get us some washed up guy

Young LeafLanders: No way! Burke is gonna get us Malkin for Ross and a 1st

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<

Burke: the goal just isn't to make the playoffs the goal is a SC

LeafsNation: Boy oh boy wouldn't that be nice

LeafLanders: Lets plan the parade Burke just promised we're going to finally win a cup

Young LeafLanders: Whats a cup?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<

Burke: We would've taken this kid 1st overall

LeafsNation: I know he doesn't like Russians and he did say there wasn't anybody in this draft who would be immediate help but I would've taken maybe Murray 1st, but whatever this Rielly kid looks pretty smooth

LeafLanders: Gawd what an idjit, he should be fired I can't believe he didn't take Forsberg/Grigorenko/traded up for Galchenyuk/Yakupov. I could do a better job the game has passed him by. We could've had Brad Richards/Parise/Suter and been saved but he doesn't like those type of contracts, we're doomed

Young LeafLanders: yeah! fire that guy whoever he is?



You're welcome

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Old
07-13-2012, 09:14 AM
  #22
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All that you need to know about him is that during the Kovalchuk mess a couple of summers ago as the NHL was about to hand down it's decision he risked it all and guessed wrong. If he guessed right he would only have hit a 50% shot but by guessing wrong he conclusively proved that he makes things up. He fabricated a source and fabricated a result with the best odds he would ever get and he got it wrong. That's all anyone ever needs to know about him.

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Old
07-13-2012, 09:39 AM
  #23
DeputyMcLaren
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Originally Posted by BayStBullies View Post
Note for new users: there is no reason to quote the OP in a thread; everyone is aware of which thread your comment is directed towards....
Sorry Sir, you had nothing better to do at 2:03 in the morning than to hop on your HF account and troll someone for quoting the OP. Sad day.


On a lighter note the Burkism is hilarious as well. Awesome thought for a thread lol.

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Old
07-13-2012, 10:27 AM
  #24
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Last year before the draft, the Leafs were about to make "the biggest trade in their history". Couldn't say for who, but insinuated Malkin or Stamkos.

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07-13-2012, 12:04 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by BayStBullies View Post
Note for new users: there is no reason to quote the OP in a thread; everyone is aware of which thread your comment is directed towards....
Who made you the forum cop?

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