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A Study on Hell

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Old
01-07-2005, 11:01 AM
  #1
MacDaddy TLC*
 
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A Study on Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote their answers using Boyle's Law (gas cools when
it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student,
however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in
the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct
... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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Old
01-07-2005, 11:14 AM
  #2
x-bob
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:lol :lol :lol

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Old
01-07-2005, 11:18 AM
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Shane
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I found it amusing, but question it's validity. Nothing written in e-mails is true.

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Old
01-07-2005, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shane
I found it amusing, but question it's validity. Nothing written in e-mails is true.
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

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Old
01-07-2005, 12:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shane
I didn't know whether it was true or not, just found it funny as hell.

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01-07-2005, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayor of MacAppolis
I didn't know whether it was true or not, just found it funny as hell.
Pun intended?

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Old
01-07-2005, 12:57 PM
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:lol That was awesome...

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Old
01-07-2005, 02:33 PM
  #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shane
Pun intended?
sure as hell was.

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