At this point we have heard it all. Yadda yadda yadda, UFA. Yadda yadda yadda, RFA. Yadda yadda yadda, criminal charges. I have seen many mock line-ups and speculation of future moves. To be frank, the accumulated wisdom of Jet fans is impressive. But here is what the Jets NEED to bring us into cup contention.
1. Barry Horowitz jackets in Jet colours for Jet fans who contribute great ideas on internet forums. Patting ourselves on the back makes sense.
2. Dancin Gabe needs to get in shape. This is the NHL. We need somebody who can dance for all 15 rounds, like Muhammad Ali. I saw Gabe at the Goldeyes' game. He just looks for a place to sit and eat pizza. Never mind "Is Buff in shape?" It is Gabe we need to worry about. The only fat guy who would dance all night was Rerun, and Gabe is no Rerun.
3. Angry Fish Beer! It's made for Goldeyes games but if it works in the great outdoors, it would also work indoors. This might also lead to something our country needs: A ritualized mass beat-down of anybody caught drinking American beer.
4. No pick-up trucks. There is no excuse for driving a pick-up truck downtown. All accountants, civil servants, and office workers who only use their truck for transporting a briefcase are morons to begin with. You want to drive a pick-up truck to a game? Move to Regina. You'll end up looking like this guy:
5. No Blue Bombers influence. The Bombers suck. We do not need their stank to infect us. Stop it, I say!
6. Positive ions or pyramids? Red Kelly once tried each of these when the Leafs were desperate to beat superior opponents. A scientific study was never done. Which one works better?
7. Don't change the female t-shirts. In fact, give them away to every young lady in Winnipeg.
8. Chant "soc-cer player" to the Sedins on February 9th when the Canucks are here for a 9pm game. What better way to register our disgust for both the Sedins and diving soccer players all at once? And it will keep as awake until midnight when the game ends.
9. Bring back troughs! Just imagine: Bathroom break, concession stand, and beer line all in one intermission without missing any game.
10. Sophia Vergara would accompany me to all games. It would be interesting to see if this would lead to more victories.
Last edited by Hollywood3: 07-29-2012 at 10:59 AM.
Luck, Goaltending, Put on defence some Uruk-Hai Orcs of Saurons that can run in daylight, divine intervention, goaltending, beer, splice genetic samples of Gretzky and Lady Chyna and incubate under age enhancing steroids creating 1 year old 8' tall babies, and goaltending.
I was just looking at the Jets roster on capgeek and I like the way the team is being built. Obviously they are yet to sign Kane, but they have a good tender locked in at a good cap hit, and their defense seems to be set for a few years.