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When your cat pisses on your jersey....

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07-30-2012, 01:17 PM
  #1
Myla
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When your cat pisses on your jersey....

As the roller hockey season comes to a close. This scene can be repeated throughout the hockey community. I know because it happened to our house.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0ZnQJVi8q4
It may be a sign to get new gear. Showing off our personalities on the rink (ice or not)
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Old
07-30-2012, 01:21 PM
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Krishna
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tl;dw

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Old
07-30-2012, 01:23 PM
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Juzmo
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I like to sniff the jersey afterwards.

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07-30-2012, 01:25 PM
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zytz
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Piss on the cat.

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07-30-2012, 01:26 PM
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07-30-2012, 01:43 PM
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Emerica
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What?

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07-30-2012, 01:44 PM
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MartyOwns
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the only way the cat will learn his behavior cannot go on unpunished will be to wrap him in the piss stained jersey. of course, it must still be wet- not soaked, mind you, but at least damp with piss. ‘scruffing’ your cat will allow you maximum control over the little ******* as you allow the urine to bleed through the fabric, bleed through his fur, and dampen his skin with his own furry tuna pisswater.

a common practice (especially in the Midwest) will include touching noses with the cat, as he squirms in his pissblanket. look deep into his eyes to convey your feelings of disappointment and rage. speak to him, in a calm and soothing voice. explain to him that drip-drying his piss puddles is an insufficient way to spend your afternoon, as you have more pressing matters to attend to. whisper gently (but firmly) to ‘halt future pissings’ on hockey jerseys, bar mitzvah invites, open electrical wiring and other potentially hazardous or materials.

to finish the technique, peel Mr. Fluffykins, who by now ought to be smelly, wet, and scratching furiously, off of your hockey jersey. ‘whip’ (as you would a towel) one of the sleeves at his rear end as he departs. a final “**** you” to the one who defiled your property.

congrats- you are now armed with all the knowledge you need. if, for some reason, your cat never pees on another one of your jerseys again, please know that it is purely a coincidence. cats will do whatever they want, whenever they want. in fact, by taking the above steps, you have ensured that your cat will piss on your clothing again- not because it needs to. no, no, no. because it can.

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07-30-2012, 01:45 PM
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Myla
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juzmo View Post
I like to sniff the jersey afterwards.
you wear it too without washing? just cuz you can?

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07-30-2012, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MartyOwns View Post
because it can.


That is true with all animal and friends alike (human or not)

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07-30-2012, 01:49 PM
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My cat's breath smells like cat food.

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07-30-2012, 01:51 PM
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zytz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zytz View Post
Piss on the cat.
In the spirit of Marty's post I'd like to clarify that pissing on the cat doesn't do anything to chagw the cats behavior; this is purely for your own satisfaction

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07-30-2012, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zytz View Post
In the spirit of Marty's post I'd like to clarify that pissing on the cat doesn't do anything to chagw the cats behavior; this is purely for your own satisfaction

Ya I gotta say I agree, it's because Marty can.

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07-30-2012, 02:02 PM
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My sisters cat once pissed on all my goalie gear.

Never been so livid in my life.

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07-30-2012, 02:06 PM
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07-30-2012, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeThreeKings View Post
My sisters cat once pissed on all my goalie gear.

Never been so livid in my life.
I knew my house was not alone!

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07-30-2012, 02:34 PM
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Do cats even give a ****?

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07-30-2012, 02:34 PM
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Yeah well...I keep my jerseys all hung up in a closet, close the door so that doesn't happen... same with my goalie gear... in a big bag in the closet, closed door...lol

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07-30-2012, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCrazyRangerFan View Post
Yeah well...I keep my jerseys all hung up in a closet, close the door so that doesn't happen... same with my goalie gear... in a big bag in the closet, closed door...lol

Closed doors make no difference in my house. The crazy one has gotten coller stuck on top shelf of freezer, opened closet door, emptied my closed drawer
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fb...type=3&theater

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07-30-2012, 02:40 PM
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The cat was locked in the garage for 3 days... of course it pissed on stuff, it didn't have a litter box. Serves those people right.

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07-30-2012, 02:47 PM
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Our cat loves to sleep on my guys hockey bag but she has never peed on anything. The bunny loves the bag too. Something about hockey gear smell.


Last edited by kducks: 07-30-2012 at 03:25 PM.
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07-30-2012, 02:55 PM
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It's because you had a Maple Leafs jersey, and your cat mistook it as its litter box. Honest mistake, I would too.

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07-30-2012, 03:01 PM
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It's happened before where I was so tired and just threw myself onto the bed to sleep, only to have my face land in a huge puddle of cat urine. Leaked right through both sheets, and into the mattress itself. If the cat wasn't a hide-and-go seek champion of the universe, she would receive a swiff kick in the ass out the door.

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07-30-2012, 03:14 PM
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One kid on my highschool team had his dog piss all over his white jersey like 20 mins before he left his house. So he had to play a game with a yellow, piss smelling jersey.

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07-30-2012, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myla View Post
Closed doors make no difference in my house. The crazy one has gotten coller stuck on top shelf of freezer, opened closet door, emptied my closed drawer
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fb...type=3&theater
content unavailable. But my closet door has the turnable door knob so ..

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07-31-2012, 05:35 AM
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One time my cat was sleeping in my bag. I put it in the back of the truck and heard meowing. I opened it up and he crawled out. Would have been funnier to find him in the locker room.

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