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The Thread About Nothing Part 180: Mr. and Mrs. OFS Pull A Life 180?

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09-27-2012, 01:59 PM
  #901
daveskirtun
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So, I keep a running tally in my head as to whether or not I ever want to have children.
Yesterday I went to go get my hair did, and as I walked in there was a line of customers at the sign-in. I sigh, and shrug it off, until I realize that what's holding up the line is a trio of children, 1 girl, and 2 boys, selecting the lollipops they want.
No big deal I figure, they have the right to a lollipop, and it shouldn't be too much of a hassle, right? WRONG!!!!
While the 2 boys picked their lollipops in seconds flat, the little girl went through each individual lollipop in a bin of what must have been over 100. Why? I don't know, perhaps she was looking for some rare flavor like blue raspberry.
She FINALLY settles on cherry, and her mother says 'OK honey, we're running late!', and I sighed once more, this time in relief that I would soon be getting my haircut and going about my day normally without the added aggravation of children.
My relief was short-lived, however, as before I could take a 1/2 step forward the girl yelled 'I WANT ANOTHER ONE!!' and began digging maliciously through the lollipop bin.
My eyebrows now raised, I saw the mother put her hand on the child's head and say 'Now, now. We have to go meet your father, one lollipop is enough, come on.'
The cashier then returned the bin behind the counter, which led to the child SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, and sitting down in line, refusing to budge during her last stand.
After roughly 2 minutes of this screaming, which I would describe as a shrapnel grenade full of nails, cicadas, and solder being discharged in a china shop with chalkboard walls during a firedrill, the mother threw the girl over her shoulder and ran out of the storefront, blushing and holding back sobs of embarrassment.

I proceeded to get my hair cut without any further interruption, but when I paid I didn't get a lollipop.

And that is why I am not having kids.

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09-27-2012, 01:59 PM
  #902
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09-27-2012, 02:07 PM
  #903
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09-27-2012, 02:09 PM
  #904
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Holy **** that was pretty damn good dude. I mean, I'm not saying I'm surprised it was good. Just that it was *that* good.

Well, except for the 'aw' enunciation.

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09-27-2012, 02:24 PM
  #905
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Originally Posted by Cowbell232 View Post
Holy **** that was pretty damn good dude. I mean, I'm not saying I'm surprised it was good. Just that it was *that* good.

Well, except for the 'aw' enunciation.
Haha..yeah, a few nerves there!

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09-27-2012, 02:45 PM
  #906
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daveskirtun View Post
After roughly 2 minutes of this screaming, which I would describe as a shrapnel grenade full of nails, cicadas, and solder being discharged in a china shop with chalkboard walls during a firedrill, the mother threw the girl over her shoulder and ran out of the storefront, blushing and holding back sobs of embarrassment.

I proceeded to get my hair cut without any further interruption, but when I paid I didn't get a lollipop..
beautiful

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09-27-2012, 02:51 PM
  #907
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09-27-2012, 03:12 PM
  #908
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daveskirtun View Post
the little girl went through each individual lollipop in a bin of what must have been over 100. Why? I don't know, perhaps she was looking for some rare flavor like blue raspberry.
typical girl behavior. anyone who ahs been shopping with them knows they cant leave a store until they have seen and FELT everything. seriously, my ex-ex-gf would fondle every shirt, mannequin, and pair of pants in the place.

me: why do you have to touch everything?
her: idk? (while feeling up a cardigan)


pssh. broads.

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09-27-2012, 03:27 PM
  #909
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Originally Posted by MartyOwns View Post
typical girl behavior. anyone who ahs been shopping with them knows they cant leave a store until they have seen and FELT everything. seriously, my ex-ex-gf would fondle every shirt, mannequin, and pair of pants in the place.

me: “why do you have to touch everything?”
her: “idk?” (while feeling up a cardigan)


pssh. broads.
i've been known to make multiple laps around a store, each more detailed than the first, but only if the first pass led me to anything interesting. if something doesn't catch my eye right away, i'm out and move on, but if i get caught by something, thats when the have to see everything in the store mode kicks in

so the trick to getting me out of stores, is to hide all the fun shiny things so i don't notice them in my first cursory glance

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09-27-2012, 05:05 PM
  #910
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So, you're saying we should treat you like crows?

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09-27-2012, 05:13 PM
  #911
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**** crows, man. They never leave me alone while I eat a sandwich at the bus stop.

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09-27-2012, 05:37 PM
  #912
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**** crows, man. They never leave me alone while I eat a sandwich at the bus stop.
Why eat a sandwich at the bus stop then?

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09-27-2012, 05:41 PM
  #913
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Originally Posted by Saugus View Post
Boo this man. What a dreadful pun.
That was bad and you should feel bad.

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09-27-2012, 05:42 PM
  #914
njdevsfn95
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Well the crows probably just want to look at a sandwich. I mean you have to consider how long they are ranging. I mean if Benjen saw a sandwich, he would stare and stare. Now if Samwell saw a sandwich...

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09-27-2012, 05:43 PM
  #915
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Originally Posted by JerseyGuy276 View Post
Why eat a sandwich at the bus stop then?
I get hungry when I get there at 11am and the next bus is almost at 2pm

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09-27-2012, 05:49 PM
  #916
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I think my hopes of going to the game may have gone down the drain. Always something that has to set me back!

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Old
09-27-2012, 06:50 PM
  #917
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerseyGuy276 View Post
That was bad and you should feel bad.
I feel nothing. Mine was funnier and less forced.

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09-27-2012, 06:56 PM
  #918
njdevils1982
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I miss my piano...I can't wait to get a house so I can take it out of my mom's house. I could just sit and play and tinker for hours on that thing.
you play piano? cool.....i have a dominion from 1901 http://www.antiquepianoshop.com/online-museum/dominion/.... im better at guitar bass drums ....little sax and trumpet......

i just finished building a banjo actually.

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Old
09-27-2012, 07:07 PM
  #919
JerseyGuy276
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Originally Posted by Saugus View Post
I feel nothing. Mine was funnier and less forced.
It totally was not...plus he had a kitten in his post. He automatically wins.

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Old
09-27-2012, 07:22 PM
  #920
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Quote:
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It totally was not...plus he had a kitten in his post. He automatically wins.
I guess I can't argue with that.

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09-27-2012, 08:01 PM
  #921
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Good night all.


Last edited by JimEIV: 09-27-2012 at 08:31 PM.
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Old
09-27-2012, 08:30 PM
  #922
njdevsfn95
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Well this has potential for hilarity.

Of course im talking about tomorrow night.

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Old
09-27-2012, 08:44 PM
  #923
daveskirtun
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The human body sucks. You go one day without eating and all of a sudden you get a headache. How did Moses and the Israelites do it?

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09-27-2012, 08:46 PM
  #924
Bleedred
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Originally Posted by daveskirtun View Post
The human body sucks. You go one day without eating and all of a sudden you get a headache. How did Moses and the Israelites do it?
Same thing happens to me after only half a day. Sometimes I can do it without a headache though. Once I get one though it won't go away even when I do eat something.

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Old
09-27-2012, 09:30 PM
  #925
daveskirtun
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Same thing happens to me after only half a day. Sometimes I can do it without a headache though. Once I get one though it won't go away even when I do eat something.
I make it until the late afternoon without even realizing I haven't eaten, and then I find myself thinking 'Hmm, why do I feel like ****?'.

Anyway, how badass is this picture?

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