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Old
11-02-2012, 09:32 PM
  #176
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Originally Posted by NHL1674 View Post
Change of plans. Meet me in Oklahoma. We've got some business to take care of first. I'll bring an extra frying pan and tire iron.
Sounds like a plan.

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11-02-2012, 09:55 PM
  #177
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Big win in my mixed league ! 6-1 !

Feels nice to win... Got 1G and 2A and the A on my buds first goal in the league.. I'm happy for him.

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11-02-2012, 10:31 PM
  #178
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Originally Posted by maxwell goldshadow View Post
sounds like a pan.
ftfy.

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11-02-2012, 10:39 PM
  #179
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I can't wait for Skyfall. I loved the other two Daniel Craig movies. But before that's released, I will vote and act like it matters in the grand scheme of things.

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11-02-2012, 10:49 PM
  #180
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Originally Posted by Utterly Disgusting View Post
ftfy.
Well played.

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11-02-2012, 11:24 PM
  #181
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Daniel Craig is the perfect Bond for these times when tastes have gone grimdark.

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11-02-2012, 11:24 PM
  #182
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I try my best to refrain from doing so but I have to ask for some life advice. I think this is the first time, I have posted anything personal (I try my best to humor the masses).

I have a female friend that likes me more than a friend. I don't feel the same way but value our friendship. To give you a backstory: we met over a year ago at my job. She quit about six months ago and found a job that is more of her calling. It wasn't until she left the job, that we actually became friends. She added me on Facebook and realized we had a lot in common (at work, the extent of what we talked about was music - politics and religion aren't very work friendly conversations). So we've hung out here and there over the last half year. She mentioned she liked me before and I was honest with her that I didn't feel the same way, apologized to the best of my ability (I really do feel terrible because I've been on the receiving end of these situations), and felt like there was a closure. Fast forward to tonight, she's about to head out of town for a month and before leaving, mentioned she still had strong feelings and needed to explain more about them. **** man. I felt like **** before and now, I feel like I have to open that wound again. I really hate to do that to someone but I really have no choice.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle these situations? I feel I'm doing the right thing by being honest with her but is it really worth it for me to feel guilty about not reciprocating feelings?

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Old
11-02-2012, 11:30 PM
  #183
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ah, tricky. The nicer you are, the more likely she's going to keep repeating this scenario. the more blunt you are, the more likely she'll be embarrassed and slink off forever in shame. I haven't yet found a happy medium except by dodging it altogether with adept subject changes and avoidance.

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11-02-2012, 11:33 PM
  #184
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Originally Posted by rynryn View Post
ah, tricky. The nicer you are, the more likely she's going to keep repeating this scenario. the more blunt you are, the more likely she'll be embarrassed and slink off forever in shame. I haven't yet found a happy medium except by dodging it altogether with adept subject changes and avoidance.
I've been in the other end of the same dilemma more than once.

Explain to her that you'd like to be just friends, and hope she understands it. If not, explain to her that you're just not interested.

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11-02-2012, 11:46 PM
  #185
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Originally Posted by Utterly Disgusting View Post
I try my best to refrain from doing so but I have to ask for some life advice. I think this is the first time, I have posted anything personal (I try my best to humor the masses).

I have a female friend that likes me more than a friend. I don't feel the same way but value our friendship. To give you a backstory: we met over a year ago at my job. She quit about six months ago and found a job that is more of her calling. It wasn't until she left the job, that we actually became friends. She added me on Facebook and realized we had a lot in common (at work, the extent of what we talked about was music - politics and religion aren't very work friendly conversations). So we've hung out here and there over the last half year. She mentioned she liked me before and I was honest with her that I didn't feel the same way, apologized to the best of my ability (I really do feel terrible because I've been on the receiving end of these situations), and felt like there was a closure. Fast forward to tonight, she's about to head out of town for a month and before leaving, mentioned she still had strong feelings and needed to explain more about them. **** man. I felt like **** before and now, I feel like I have to open that wound again. I really hate to do that to someone but I really have no choice.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle these situations? I feel I'm doing the right thing by being honest with her but is it really worth it for me to feel guilty about not reciprocating feelings?
Hit it and quit it?

JK... All you can do is be true to yourself, and if she means a lot to you as a friend, you have to consider her feelings. Unfortunately, there's no way you can predict the outcome.

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11-02-2012, 11:56 PM
  #186
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Utterly Disgusting View Post
I try my best to refrain from doing so but I have to ask for some life advice. I think this is the first time, I have posted anything personal (I try my best to humor the masses).

I have a female friend that likes me more than a friend. I don't feel the same way but value our friendship. To give you a backstory: we met over a year ago at my job. She quit about six months ago and found a job that is more of her calling. It wasn't until she left the job, that we actually became friends. She added me on Facebook and realized we had a lot in common (at work, the extent of what we talked about was music - politics and religion aren't very work friendly conversations). So we've hung out here and there over the last half year. She mentioned she liked me before and I was honest with her that I didn't feel the same way, apologized to the best of my ability (I really do feel terrible because I've been on the receiving end of these situations), and felt like there was a closure. Fast forward to tonight, she's about to head out of town for a month and before leaving, mentioned she still had strong feelings and needed to explain more about them. **** man. I felt like **** before and now, I feel like I have to open that wound again. I really hate to do that to someone but I really have no choice.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle these situations? I feel I'm doing the right thing by being honest with her but is it really worth it for me to feel guilty about not reciprocating feelings?
First off, you're doing the right thing by being honest. And I'm saying this as a woman. It may hurt her, but it'd hurt her more if you weren't up front from the very beginning. It'd be bad enough to lie, but worse to drag them along regarding their feelings. I give her credit, because it's sometimes very tough for any man or woman to admit their feelings to someone especially if they aren't sure if the other person feels the same way. It's a huge risk, and you have to be prepared to not have it end the way you want it to. You shouldn't feel guilty for being truthful, but I think it's perfectly natural to feel a little guilty or uncomfortable about the fact that even though you're doing the right thing, it may still hurt your friend. That just means you care.

You'd hate to open that wound again, but it's my understanding that she was the one who brought it up for a second time. And while I don't fault her for that, she has to again be prepared for the possibility of being let down. Just be totally honest with her. She may be hurt...even angry. I would hope that after a while, she wouldn't let this ruin the friendship. But each person handles things differently. Be prepared for that.

I would say just follow the same route that you took the first time around, because it sounds like you handled it quite well.

1. Let her know about your feelings.

2. Tell her again that you too have been on the receiving end of this before and understand what it feels like.

3. Tell her that you care (as a friend) and it hurts knowing that she may feel let down, and just tell her that as a friend, you'll be there for her.

That's all you can do. Then the ball is in her court. If I were in her shoes, yes, I may be hurt and upset. But as time goes on, I'd hope to at least appreciate that you not only were honest, but that you cared enough to share those 3 points (listed above) with me.

And should she react in the worst way and end the friendship, don't blame yourself in any way. You were respectful and truthful. If she needs to walk away, then that is her choice and for the best. Should the friendship remain intact, and she brings it up for a 3rd time.....then a tougher approach may be needed. But again, if she brings it up, she has to be prepared to be let down. That's not on you.


Last edited by NHL1674: 11-03-2012 at 12:06 AM.
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Old
11-03-2012, 12:04 AM
  #187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Freitag View Post
Hit it and quit it?

JK... All you can do is be true to yourself, and if she means a lot to you as a friend, you have to consider her feelings. Unfortunately, there's no way you can predict the outcome.
I LOL'd.

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11-03-2012, 12:05 AM
  #188
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Originally Posted by NHL1674 View Post
I LOL'd.
I know right?

I think that's what some guys would actually do sadly. At least, I knew one who was in the same situation a couple years ago.

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Old
11-03-2012, 12:23 AM
  #189
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Originally Posted by NHL1674 View Post
First off, you're doing the right thing by being honest. And I'm saying this as a woman. It may hurt her, but it'd hurt her more if you weren't up front from the very beginning. It'd be bad enough to lie, but worse to drag them along regarding their feelings. I give her credit, because it's sometimes very tough for any man or woman to admit their feelings to someone especially if they aren't sure if the other person feels the same way. It's a huge risk, and you have to be prepared to not have it end the way you want it to. You shouldn't feel guilty for being truthful, but I think it's perfectly natural to feel a little guilty or uncomfortable about the fact that even though you're doing the right thing, it may still hurt your friend. That just means you care.

You'd hate to open that wound again, but it's my understanding that she was the one who brought it up for a second time. And while I don't fault her for that, she has to again be prepared for the possibility of being let down. Just be totally honest with her. She may be hurt...even angry. I would hope that after a while, she wouldn't let this ruin the friendship. But each person handles things differently. Be prepared for that.

I would say just follow the same route that you took the first time around, because it sounds like you handled it quite well.

1. Let her know about your feelings.

2. Tell her again that you too have been on the receiving end of this before and understand what it feels like.

3. Tell her that you care (as a friend) and it hurts knowing that she may feel let down, and just tell her that as a friend, you'll be there for her.

That's all you can do. Then the ball is in her court. If I were in her shoes, yes, I may be hurt and upset. But as time goes on, I'd hope to at least appreciate that you not only were honest, but that you cared enough to share those 3 points (listed above) with me.

And should she react in the worst way and end the friendship, don't blame yourself in any way. You were respectful and truthful. If she needs to walk away, then that is her choice and for the best. Should the friendship remain intact, and she brings it up for a 3rd time.....then a tougher approach may be needed. But again, if she brings it up, she has to be prepared to be let down. That's not on you.
Thank you for the detailed reply. Getting a female perspective on this helps too. You're right, I try to live my life going by honesty being the best policy (even if the truth hurts). I did tell her during an extensive conversation that I really don't feel the same way. Of course, I'll feel guilty because it's my friend and I know how it feels to get rejected. It hurts, you build up all this courage to talk to someone and unless you've learned how to deal with rejection over time, it's not easy to pacify feelings. I didn't explain this in my first message but she's a very shy, reserved person. She has never been in a relationship before so that is also what makes this harder.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I know this was serious but Tim, your response was great. It was the levity that I needed since, I get uncomfortable posting personal stuff on message boards.

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Old
11-03-2012, 12:27 AM
  #190
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Posting personal stuff here is definitely not the same as if you posted it on stupid another forum I won't name.

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11-03-2012, 12:37 AM
  #191
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So i had an interesting drive back to work over my lunch break...

Car in front of me, only other car on the road going the same way as me.

out of nowhere car makes a hard left into the ditch (pretty much 90 degrees). I pull over to see if everyone is ok... she gets out crying really hard and screaming at the (i assume) boyfriend in the passenger seat. I try to calm her down... she's trying to get me to help her get the car out of the ditch. It's hung up... no way it's going anywhere without getting pulled out.

She tries to he-man the car out of the ditch pushing on it while no one is trying to move it. Couple other people arrive, someone decides to call the police, get a tow truck...

she freaks out, tries to stop us, tells us she doesn't have a license. Woman who is calling 911 is like, "well now i am for sure calling 911." The girl who crashed the car bolts off into the woods in a summer dress and ugg boots.

the four of us that are stopped just look at eachother in amazement...

really strange set of events....

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11-03-2012, 12:41 AM
  #192
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Originally Posted by Wild48 View Post
So i had an interesting drive back to work over my lunch break...

Car in front of me, only other car on the road going the same way as me.

out of nowhere car makes a hard left into the ditch (pretty much 90 degrees). I pull over to see if everyone is ok... she gets out crying really hard and screaming at the (i assume) boyfriend in the passenger seat. I try to calm her down... she's trying to get me to help her get the car out of the ditch. It's hung up... no way it's going anywhere without getting pulled out.

She tries to he-man the car out of the ditch pushing on it while no one is trying to move it. Couple other people arrive, someone decides to call the police, get a tow truck...

she freaks out, tries to stop us, tells us she doesn't have a license. Woman who is calling 911 is like, "well now i am for sure calling 911." The girl who crashed the car bolts off into the woods in a summer dress and ugg boots.

the four of us that are stopped just look at eachother in amazement...

really strange set of events....
One (probably) drunk woman in the wilderness, by herself, for seven days. Can she survive?

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11-03-2012, 12:43 AM
  #193
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One (probably) drunk woman in the wilderness, by herself, for seven days. Can she survive?
I don't think she was drunk... i was close enough to her before she ran to have been able to smell booze...

In this town it was probably meth or bath salts... Also, she couldn't have gotten far... it's woods inside a city... so maybe a 6 block radius she has to hide in.

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11-03-2012, 12:46 AM
  #194
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One (probably) drunk woman in the wilderness, by herself, for seven days. Can she survive?
From a female perspective, she'd have to be more than just drunk if she's wearing a summer dress with ugg boots.

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11-03-2012, 12:46 AM
  #195
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I don't think she was drunk... i was close enough to her before she ran to have been able to smell booze...

In this town it was probably meth or bath salts... Also, she couldn't have gotten far... it's woods inside a city... so maybe a 6 block radius she has to hide in.
One meth head, one bulldozer, one woodchipper, and one very small group of trees. Can she survive?

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11-03-2012, 12:50 AM
  #196
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One meth head, one bulldozer, one woodchipper, and one very small group of trees. Can she survive?

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11-03-2012, 12:54 AM
  #197
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Someone needs to go all Marv Heemeyer on those trees. Dude is a legend.


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11-03-2012, 09:38 AM
  #198
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Someone needs to go all Marv Heemeyer on those trees. Dude is a legend.

Oh man, I'd forgotten about that... The dude was world-class crazy.

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11-03-2012, 11:56 AM
  #199
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That's crazy.

Everyone knows that you never make trained welders mad though.

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11-03-2012, 01:57 PM
  #200
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I think I met my future wife today.... Well I didn't like meet her.. But umm ya... She coaches hockey... With my friend ? Well acquaintance.. Who's kind of a friend..

She's my age... I don't know her name but she's beautiful...

It's times like this that make me wish I wasn't such an idiot..

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