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Lady Advice Thread XXXI: A woman needs love

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Old
12-31-2012, 07:36 PM
  #351
akademiks
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Originally Posted by Armond White View Post
My friend does the "fade out." Works with texting mainly, although there can be a complementary real-life component. First off, you never initiate a conversation (or, in real life, a date). You start by being your normal texting self. Then, over time, your answers get shorter. As this happens, maybe you don't bothering responding to 25% of them, you know? Bump that up to 50%. Then 80%. One-word answers at this point. Then don't respond at all. Fade out complete. There is no defined end to your relationship. This should be reserved for cases where you don't hate the girl, but you just aren't feeling it, you know?

I, on the other hand, have done the complete cut-out in the past. Block Facebook, no answer to calls, no texts. This should be reserved for cases of spite.
Thanks for that.

I've thought about how to deal with this all day and honestly this is one of the more intelligent answers towards my particular situation.


Last edited by akademiks: 01-01-2013 at 01:58 AM.
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Old
01-01-2013, 03:55 AM
  #352
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Originally Posted by akademiks View Post
Thanks for that.

I've thought about how to deal with this all day and honestly this is one of the more intelligent answers towards my particular situation.
Regardless of what you choose, I would at least get her out of your Facebook feed. The less you see her or talk to her, the quicker you'll feel better.

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Old
01-01-2013, 09:51 AM
  #353
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Originally Posted by akademiks View Post
How would I go about cutting out a girl from my life?

Cold turkey by ignoring her or slowly making myself unavailable?
Man up and end all contact immediately.

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Old
01-01-2013, 12:14 PM
  #354
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Girl asked me to be her new years kiss.

I went to kiss her. she pulled away.

FML

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Old
01-01-2013, 05:23 PM
  #355
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I got played so many times through out this party weekend.

1) Saturday night i ran into a girl i met on Friday. I had no idea who she was by face, but i remember looking through my phone Saturday morning, and a girl named Cara put her number in. Luckily that was the right name. Anyhow...we're talking for a bit, and then some guy joins her friends, and she tells me to go away, because that was one of her friends. My friend said they were kissing 10 minutes later.

We had a good laugh about that

2) so i walked back to my friends after Cara gave me the scoot. There was a girl [Kate] we met up with who had a thing for me when we first met. Back in October there was a bar crawl, and all my friends were there, but katie wanted to goto a different area. She practically pulled me out of the cab to go with her, but i decided to goto the bar crawl. I told her i'd see her at the after party. I did. Unfortunately i was wing manning my friend, and brought back a different girl. She flipped out and told both of us off. I laughed it off.

Back to Saturday night. She was *****ing about it the whole night. Wondering how i could chose a girl clearly less attractive over her. I told her i was wingmanning. If she was a guy she'd understand, blah blah. Well, as i walk back to my friends, she's dancing with a guy. She moves away from him as if she wants to dance. As soon as i started grinding her booty she turned around, said 'oh...it's you', and goes back to dancing with the other guy. Everyone laughed at me. Of course i joined in, because it was pretty Damn funny.

3) last night a prior fwb and i were walking to her car to do the dirty dirty. As soon as we get there another guy calls her, and she asks him where he is, blah, blah, so i just hopped out and walked back to the bars. I was annoyed, because it was a long walk, but, again, me and my friends had a good laugh out of it.

Morale of the stories, if a girl plays you don't get pissy. Laugh it off. Let the girls be emotional. Just focus on doing you, and having a good time with your boys.


Last edited by Dubi Doo: 01-01-2013 at 05:31 PM.
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Old
01-01-2013, 06:39 PM
  #356
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Decided that I'm going to see if someone I talk to on twitter often is just as interesting in person and get to know them better and maybe end up on doing something. She's incredibly hot and quite funny so who knows what will happen. Sounds a bit far reaching but you have to start somewhere.

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01-01-2013, 06:50 PM
  #357
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Decided that I'm going to see if someone I talk to on twitter often is just as interesting in person and get to know them better and maybe end up on doing something. She's incredibly hot and quite funny so who knows what will happen. Sounds a bit far reaching but you have to start somewhere.
I can't believe how many of my followers are attractive girls who need a date this weekend!

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Old
01-01-2013, 07:12 PM
  #358
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I can't believe how many of my followers are attractive girls who need a date this weekend!
Rofl!

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Old
01-01-2013, 07:32 PM
  #359
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One of my friends has been talking to this girl for almost 2 months now. He's been out with her on maybe like 3~4 dates max. He's really into her but she doesn't seem to be into him as much. Whenever he asks her out lately, she usually comes up with excuses like "im out with friends i might finish late, ill tell you later" or **** like that. I'm telling the guy she doesn't seem interested and that he should stop chasing her so hard, as he's appearing desperate.

On the 31st she texted him asking what he was doing for new years. He said he was going to a party and she said she was going out I don't know where (forgot). He replied "oh seems funner than what I'm doing" and she replied that he could come if he wants.

My friend then called me and asked me what he should do (he's clueless with women, has a strong tendency to get friendzoned). I told him to tell her that he promised his friends he was gonna go to the party so he couldn't join her, and to tell her to have fun.

Do you think this was the good move? From the texts he's shown me, the girl doesn't seem interested in him. I'm guessing it's because he comes off as too desperate and needy as he's often inviting her out while she isn't. I told him to let her text him and to not chase too hard after her and that it's her turn to chase him now. She doesn't seem interested in him, but she'll randomly text him every now and then, keeping him hooked so he's confused. The dates have also went well, apparently. I also find that telling girls "I already committed to X thing so I can't come" raises your value in their eyes. It shows that you're not desperate and that when you have plans, you stick to them.

So what do you think?


Last edited by Hades: 01-01-2013 at 07:39 PM.
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Old
01-01-2013, 07:45 PM
  #360
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Originally Posted by Hades View Post
One of my friends has been talking to this girl for almost 2 months now. He's been out with her on maybe like 3~4 dates max. He's really into her but she doesn't seem to be into him as much. Whenever he asks her out lately, she usually comes up with excuses like "im out with friends i might finish late, ill tell you later" or **** like that. I'm telling the guy she doesn't seem interested and that he should stop chasing her so hard, as he's appearing desperate.

On the 31st she texted him asking what he was doing for new years. He said he was going to a party and she said she was going out I don't know where (forgot). He replied "oh seems funner than what I'm doing" and she replied that he could come if he wants.

My friend then called me and asked me what he should do (he's clueless with women, has a strong tendency to get friendzoned). I told him to tell her that he promised his friends he was gonna go to the party so he couldn't join her, and to tell her to have fun.

Do you think this was the good move? From the texts he's shown me, the girl doesn't seem interested in him. I'm guessing it's because he comes off as too desperate and needy as he's often inviting her out while she isn't. I told him to let her text him and to not chase too hard after her and that it's her turn to chase him now. She doesn't seem interested in him, but she'll randomly text him every now and then, keeping him hooked so he's confused. The dates have also went well, apparently. I also find that telling girls "I already committed to X thing so I can't come" raises your value in their eyes. It shows that you're not desperate and that when you have plans, you stick to them.

So what do you think?
I think it was well played. Sounds like she wanted someone to go out with on NYE and your friend was probably a backup option. Showing a spine is a good move in that situation. Think your friend needs to let her set up the next meet up between the two and if she never does that, just move on from her.

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Old
01-01-2013, 07:52 PM
  #361
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Originally Posted by Slim Charles View Post
I think it was well played. Sounds like she wanted someone to go out with on NYE and your friend was probably a backup option. Showing a spine is a good move in that situation. Think your friend needs to let her set up the next meet up between the two and if she never does that, just move on from her.
That's what I was thinking as well. Just seemed like she didn't want to spend New Years without a date. I told him not to text her unless she does. Hopefully it works out for him, he's been down about this and it's getting annoying lol.

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Old
01-02-2013, 12:04 PM
  #362
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Originally Posted by 4thLinePlug View Post
Girl asked me to be her new years kiss.

I went to kiss her. she pulled away.

FML
I don't care if she's a girl, she deserves to get smacked for that.

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Old
01-02-2013, 01:00 PM
  #363
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Unlimited, then?
Well think about it. You really think that putting an appendage inside another person or vice versa really changes who a person is?

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01-02-2013, 01:06 PM
  #364
Dubi Doo
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Well think about it. You really think that putting an appendage inside another person or vice versa really changes who a person is?
True that.

There are very few people who are pure by the age of the 21. Or very few who chose to be, anyways. A majority of girls have had multiple relationships, multiple rebounds, and multiple experiences while drunk or in college. Just have to be sure she has grown up, and isn't still in her college phase, because girls like that usually cheat. Or cycle through relationships a lot. So you would probably be the one for a few months until she finds another guy.

Girls always lie about their number, regardless, so you really have no idea how many she has had.

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Old
01-02-2013, 01:18 PM
  #365
The Dayvan Cowboy
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Originally Posted by buddahsmoka1 View Post
Well think about it. You really think that putting an appendage inside another person or vice versa really changes who a person is?
No, but the amount of different appendages, the frequency of different appendages, and the circumstances on which the appendages where "obtained" can tell you about who a person is.

No one wants to make someone else's ***** their princess.

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01-02-2013, 01:21 PM
  #366
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Originally Posted by The Dayvan Cowboy View Post
No, but the amount of different appendages, the frequency of different appendages, and the circumstances on which the appendages where "obtained" can tell you about who a person is.

No one wants to make someone else's ***** their princess.
Aren't you always bragging about all your hook ups? Okay when you do it, but not when they do?

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01-02-2013, 01:26 PM
  #367
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Aren't you always bragging about all your hook ups?
No.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Charles View Post
Okay when you do it, but not when they do?
A) Let's not pretend it's the same between men and women.

B) When did I say it was or wasn't ok for me to do it? And if I did, what bearing does that have?

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01-02-2013, 01:55 PM
  #368
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A) Let's not pretend it's the same between men and women.
Exactly the attitude I have issue with. It's purely sexist crap to think there's nothing wrong with men engaging in hookup culture and looking at women who do it with disdain.

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01-02-2013, 02:04 PM
  #369
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Agreed Slim, perfect answer.

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01-02-2013, 02:06 PM
  #370
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No, but the amount of different appendages, the frequency of different appendages, and the circumstances on which the appendages where "obtained" can tell you about who a person is.
Considering that everyone has a different perspective on sex and what it means, this is completely incorrect.

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01-02-2013, 02:58 PM
  #371
Dubi Doo
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Exactly the attitude I have issue with. It's purely sexist crap to think there's nothing wrong with men engaging in hookup culture and looking at women who do it with disdain.
I feel ya

Women are just as horny as men. If they're in a drought, then they'll be more likely to hook up. There are girls who lie, cheat and are easy, but there's plenty of guys like that, too. I do hook ups and fwb all the time when I'm single, but when I'm in a relationship, and getting sex steadily there is no need.

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01-02-2013, 04:47 PM
  #372
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Exactly the attitude I have issue with. It's purely sexist crap to think there's nothing wrong with men engaging in hookup culture and looking at women who do it with disdain.
Feel free to point out where I said I looked at ***** with disdain. No, seriously, please do. If it wasn't for ***** my number would be considerably lower. I never said anything about looking at ***** with disdain (Whoops. I guess that makes that little search I sent you on redundant. My bad) I simply think that on average you can probably predict most women with obnoxiously promiscuous histories to be less stable than women who aren't.

Also, strong selective answering.

Quote:
Originally Posted by buddahsmoka1
Considering that everyone has a different perspective on sex and what it means, this is completely incorrect.
Sex means absolutely nothing to me and I think it should mean absolutely nothing to everyone, including women. If you had to put money on a woman who was more likely to cheat, would you pick:

Girl a) 20 Years Old. 30 sexual partners. Only 2 of those in relationships.

Girl b) 20 Years Old. 3 Sexual partners. All three in relationships.

You would pick girl B be because, like it or not, sexual history usually repeats itself. I'm not saying girls who have seen more ***** than they can count can't be good people or good mates. I'm just saying completely writing off a girls sexual history is a potential recipe for disaster.

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01-02-2013, 05:47 PM
  #373
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Feel free to point out where I said I looked at ***** with disdain. No, seriously, please do. If it wasn't for ***** my number would be considerably lower. I never said anything about looking at ***** with disdain (Whoops. I guess that makes that little search I sent you on redundant. My bad) I simply think that on average you can probably predict most women with obnoxiously promiscuous histories to be less stable than women who aren't.

Also, strong selective answering.
I would say referring to them as ***** three times in one post shows a hint of disdain.
Would you care if someone drew the same conclusions about you?* Either way, it's ******** that people feel free to draw these conclusions about girls and not guys.

As for my selective answering, it seems pretty clear that anyone engaging in an activity and mentioning it regularly on a message board thinks it is okay. Thinking an activity is okay for one gender and not the other is something I have an issue with. Thought the answer here was rather clearly embedded in the last one.

*My guess is you will say no because you are every sophomore I knew in college who thought they were the first one to figure out how stupid relationships are. But, the original question was just about an acceptable number of partners, not relationships. So, would you feel fine if someone directed hateful terms like **** or ***** at you? It's hard to imagine because society never bothered creating equivalent terms for men, since we celebrate this trait in them.

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01-02-2013, 05:50 PM
  #374
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I assume the use of "*****" is supposed to be ironic?

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01-02-2013, 06:28 PM
  #375
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I would say referring to them as ***** three times in one post shows a hint of disdain.
Would you care if someone drew the same conclusions about you?* Either way, it's ******** that people feel free to draw these conclusions about girls and not guys.

*My guess is you will say no because you are every sophomore I knew in college who thought they were the first one to figure out how stupid relationships are. But, the original question was just about an acceptable number of partners, not relationships. So, would you feel fine if someone directed hateful terms like **** or ***** at you? It's hard to imagine because society never bothered creating equivalent terms for men, since we celebrate this trait in them.
It only shows a hint of disdain if I'm using it in a negative connotation. Sometimes I use the word **** with a bit of venom attached to it, but most of the time I just use it to describe girls and guys who are exactly that; slutty.

And no, I wouldn't care. It isn't for the reasons in your tangent though. Relationships aren't my thing but I don't tell my friends how to live or preach the single life like it is the gospel or anything. I've done some slutty things, honestly. Why would I care if someone called me out on that? If I cared about that connotation I wouldn't do those kind of things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim Charles View Post
As for my selective answering, it seems pretty clear that anyone engaging in an activity and mentioning it regularly on a message board thinks it is okay. Thinking an activity is okay for one gender and not the other is something I have an issue with. Thought the answer here was rather clearly embedded in the last one.
Again, if I didn't think it was ok or if I didn't want to I wouldn't do what I do. Different strokes for different folks. And even if I think it is fine for girls to let that flag fly freely it doesn't mean that if I was hypothetically open to relationships that I'm forced to be ok with that kind of history with a girl. In fact, it doesn't even matter why I'm not ok with that. I or anyone else can be as hypocritical as they want considering this is a scenario where your hypocrisy hurts no one.

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