Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Wiggum: Forget it. That's two blocks away.
Lou: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.
Wiggum: I am proceeding on foot. Call in a Code 8.
Lou: We need pretzels. Repeat, pretzels.
Homer joins Bart and Lisa sitting in front of Santa's Little Helper's dog house.
Homer: Television broken?
Bart: No, there's a badger in there.
Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse. Milhouse. Milhouse. AAAAAAHAHHHHHHHOOOWWWWWWAHHHHHHOWWWW!
Homer: It's a badger alright. Or possibly a griffin. Bart, do you have any dynamite in your room?
Homer: Get it.
"Kirk, crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Quite frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."
"So that's it, after 20 years, so long and good luck?"
"I don't recall saying good luck."
*Cheerily* But first, Springfield has come down with a fever. Football fever, brought on by the biggest game of the year: the Pigskin Classic between the Shelbyville Sharks and our own Springfield Atoms!
Brockman: Big game fever is reaching a fever pitch as the fevered rivalry between Springfield U. and Springfield A&M spreads like wild-fever. ...This is writing?
Intern: I'm sorry Uncle Kent; I lost my thesaurus.
Brockman: "My thesaurus" ... you'll lose more than ... In preparation for the big game, Springfield Stadium has caught additional seating capacity fever. *sigh*