Nielsen's chocolate milk is a gift from Athena, brought to the earth from upon high, over the mighty Mt. Ida, through the forests of Satyr and wine, delivered in a chariot plated with gold and the finest jewels known to both man and mankind. It is the sweetest of sweet: once guarded by titans so brutish and crude that their very nature would not allow them to drink it; their base olfactory responses could neither process a drink of such high origin, nor could their tongues stand the complexity of it's brilliance. Rescued in Herculean fashion from such monsters, it is the single most sublime beverage on this earth, or any other. To 'sup on it, is to suckle at the teat of mother earth herself.
Sealtest chocolate milk, on the other hand, is like drinking a box of turds.