No Spezza? Inexperienced Defense? Backup Goalie? 5-1 Loss.
Well, as we all now know, Spezza will not be playing tonight, due to surgery on his back. Also, the defense on the Senators features a couple of guys whom nobody outside of Ottawa has likely heard of. Expect each to score at least one goal.
Figure Skating Smurf--Sutter+Dumoulin+1st--Better than Boychuk
DrayBo--So Sexy--Why's he on the third line?
Bye Bye Boychuk--3 on 5 Kill--Char LaStud
"One" glass of wine--Our Savior Lord Faulk
The ****ing Jokel--MENDOZA!!!!
Intelligent Interviews--Damn you, JR!
Dan "Vezina" Ellis
Players we'll be seeing:
-Alfredsson is the veteran leader that stands for everything Ottawa. Was a strong two-way player during the Pizza Line days with Jason Spezza and Dany "****'n Allstar" Heatley. His play has him currently on the fence of whether or not he gets into the HF-elected HHOF.
-Karlsson is currently in the NHL record books as the first forward to win the Norris trophy. After posting 78 points in 81 games last year while still being defensively "responsible", the Professional Hockey Writers Association assumed that he was worth changing the rules for who is eligible for the trophy. Karlsson is also responsible for the Hurricanes scouting department choosing to draft a forward of the same name to **** up HF trade proposals.
Just look at those dreamy eyes. After a tragic incident involving some unknown food allergy, LaStud was forced to miss practice and cause immediate trade speculation. Fortunately for the PNC faithful, this fan favorite is here to stay for as long as JR is around.
Players we won't be seeing:
After recently having surgery for a herniated disk in his back, Spezza will miss a good chunk of the shortened season. Losing the second best forward on the team (behind Karlsson), the Senators might struggle to generate a consistent offensive threat against the Hurricanes.
Who am I kidding, he wouldn't be playing even if he weren't claimed by Pittsburgh because he doesn't care and murders hookers. We'll probably re-acquire him after Pittsburgh decides he's not worth anything.
Does this look like a starting goalie to you? After posting atrocious numbers to this point in the season, Muller has decided to bench him in front of Vezina-caliber goalie Dan Ellis. Almost assuredly this is a sign that Ellis will start the remainder of the games for this season, as the Canes rapidly try to trade Ward's mammoth contract to one of the teams in Mexico.
After goals by Wiercioch and Benoit, Condra will score a natural third-period hat trick with his hands of silk. Chad LaRose blinds the entire Senators roster with his dreamy smile and pops one in the net about midway through the third. 5-1 loss.
Last edited by Head Goose: 02-01-2013 at 01:57 PM.
Okay, I think I'm finally done editing about 15 minutes after I posted this unless there's an error in the lineups or something. That took a lot longer than I thought it would considering how little effort I put towards it.