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Lady Advice Thread XXXII: You Look Good, Gurl

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Old
04-10-2013, 04:53 PM
  #901
bassassin
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Originally Posted by Arkansas Shark View Post
I didn't even think about that. Best friends since 5th grade trust could all blow up in one sentence.
From every angle this is messy to say the least.
If you've been friends for that long I doubt that will happen.

I could tell my best friend anything serious and he would believe me and vice versa.

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04-10-2013, 04:55 PM
  #902
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The more I think about it, the more convinced I become that you shouldn't tell him.

There's no point in messing up someone else's personal life that much over a comment like that, especially when the potential backlash for you is as great as it is here.

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Old
04-10-2013, 05:01 PM
  #903
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How I see it now is that there are negative outcomes with both scenarios. But the tell my best friend about his fiancé's comment side is FAR more volatile than not telling him.

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04-10-2013, 07:57 PM
  #904
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Let it play out. It's not like she actually hit on you and grabbed your crotch when your friend left the room. She's even trying to hook you up with a friend of hers. Are any of the texts between you and her flirty?

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04-10-2013, 11:20 PM
  #905
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I'm going to attempt to make this as short as possible...

OK so start working new job, meet girl, start talking to girl. On new years in same town, end up leaving the bar i'm at after midnight to meet up with her, she sleeps over and we start talking more after. Hang out often after, get together relationship is great both ways. Lots of trust between us, She got along with my friends and I got along with hers, everything about the relationship was perfect. Come beginning of November we take a break becuase she's not herself and something is wrong and needs some time to her self. A month later she learned she was preg. at 4.5 months had an abortion (have no issue with this for the record) blah blah. I obviously try to support her through everything despite us being apart, even stayed over a month after the deed and she said things like she wished it never happened because things never would have changed between us and the like. Talk for a little bit here and there, on valentines I get her some stuff and she loves the hell out of it the smile wouldn't leave her face.

Two weeks later we have a talk to end the "break" or start the relationship again end up going to a full on breakup. As I'm leaving I told her I'd have her in my arms again she said in a few months when she feels better. (this was beginning of march). I go no contact for all of March including at work, just didn't go out of my way to talk to her and kind of ignored her. Meanwhile notice on instagram some kid calling her baby/having jealous remarks towards old comments on some of her pics so obviously immediately took her off there. Basically a few weeks ago a friend at work tells me that she and my ex talked and she misses me a lot and that we had so much in common. I get a text that night saying hello and a quick hows it going convo. That weekend I text and generate small talk which she ended up bringing to a more serious convo.

Says things like she misses talking to me and I say I miss it too which leads to her saying that it's impossible because no one can miss her because she's such a *****. I say the opposite and she then goes into convincing me why I want a girl with not a lot of baggage. I crush that conversation with my responses and she realized how well I know her and I knew a lot more about her than she thought. She then says that sometimes she wishes we kept it because we'd still be together and I tell her I'm not gone and still want to make it work. She says she's not gone either and "we'll see what happens in a few months." This past weekend I knew from my friend at work that she was going down the shore with the kid sat night so I texted her that night that her candles at work came in and I saved them for her and we talk the whole night in a very flirtatious manner (remind you she was with this new kid that night). So at work I've been overly physically flirtatious like pincher her sides/touching her hip and lower back type things to which she never peels away or has an issue with it.

Basically I'm just lost because nothing makes sense, sure I should probably run away as fast as possible but for the first time in my life I can't.

Well that turned out longer than I thought, probably because I'm drunk...

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Old
04-10-2013, 11:23 PM
  #906
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Just got stood up for a date for the 5th time this year. It's pretty sad when It doesn't even bother me anymore because I've gotten so used to it.

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Old
04-11-2013, 12:08 AM
  #907
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How I see it now is that there are negative outcomes with both scenarios. But the tell my best friend about his fiancé's comment side is FAR more volatile than not telling him.
You're better off not telling him. It's not a big enough issue to bring up. Maybe she was being serious, but you can't be 100% sure. Not worth the potential headache it would cause.

How often does she make those kinds of comments to you? If it's once in a while, you can chalk that up to innocent flirting, and it's not a big deal, but if it's constant, then maybe it's something to bring up to your friend then.

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04-11-2013, 12:25 AM
  #908
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Well that turned out longer than I thought, probably because I'm drunk...
She broke up with you because she was pregnant with your baby and got an abortion? And you've been together 9 months before that? And she didn't tell you about it at all?

But yes, find someone new. She's got some issues.

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04-11-2013, 01:40 AM
  #909
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Let it play out. It's not like she actually hit on you and grabbed your crotch when your friend left the room. She's even trying to hook you up with a friend of hers. Are any of the texts between you and her flirty?
For sure. The thing is, if she grabbed my crotch or something like that of course I'd tell him, but since it was a one time comment its not bad.

She's made two comments along flirty lines, once today and once a few months ago. Both times when they were engaged.

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You're better off not telling him. It's not a big enough issue to bring up. Maybe she was being serious, but you can't be 100% sure. Not worth the potential headache it would cause.

How often does she make those kinds of comments to you? If it's once in a while, you can chalk that up to innocent flirting, and it's not a big deal, but if it's constant, then maybe it's something to bring up to your friend then.
Only twice. I think y'all are right, as it is now her comments are a bit strange but as of now it's just an innocent comment. If it happens more then obviously it's an issue. Plus her friend is so attractive and I don't want to mess up my chances.

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04-11-2013, 02:37 AM
  #910
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If I don't tell, it's not the most ethical optiion, but if I do tell I'd be opening up a giant can of worms, for their relationship and marriage, and for my prospects of dating her hot friend.

That's why you should keep your mouth shut.

Seriously, if that was me I'd keep quiet.

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Old
04-11-2013, 12:07 PM
  #911
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Just got stood up for a date for the 5th time this year. It's pretty sad when It doesn't even bother me anymore because I've gotten so used to it.
that sucks major ass bro ...


Baboozas got herself a boyfriend ... i'm quite happy, she's buisy now. Still she don't seem very happy ... don't know whats going down in her mind and I'm glad I don't have to think about it anymore ... relieving

Anyhow, I think there is a beautiful women that likes me ... only problem she is really young ... age difference is like 7 years ... it ****s my mind

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04-11-2013, 02:10 PM
  #912
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that sucks major ass bro ...


Baboozas got herself a boyfriend ... i'm quite happy, she's buisy now. Still she don't seem very happy ... don't know whats going down in her mind and I'm glad I don't have to think about it anymore ... relieving

Anyhow, I think there is a beautiful women that likes me ... only problem she is really young ... age difference is like 7 years ... it ****s my mind
Frauen mit grosse bruste sind sehr schwer.

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Old
04-11-2013, 03:09 PM
  #913
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She broke up with you because she was pregnant with your baby and got an abortion? And you've been together 9 months before that? And she didn't tell you about it at all?

But yes, find someone new. She's got some issues.
Well she legitely didn't know, she found out literally days before she had it done. She was convinced and apparently told by doctors that it wasn't possible, so when things started happening that seemed like it she completely passed it off to an apparent thyroid problem that the doctor told her she had when she would have been at 2 months. She was going to the doctor to figure out what was wrong with her and they did blood tests and all they told her was it is a thyroid problem. She finally decided to take a test came back positive then went to the doctor again to have them check and was told she had less than a week to decide.

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04-11-2013, 03:15 PM
  #914
Kitten Mittons
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Well she legitely didn't know, she found out literally days before she had it done. She was convinced and apparently told by doctors that it wasn't possible, so when things started happening that seemed like it she completely passed it off to an apparent thyroid problem that the doctor told her she had when she would have been at 2 months. She was going to the doctor to figure out what was wrong with her and they did blood tests and all they told her was it is a thyroid problem. She finally decided to take a test came back positive then went to the doctor again to have them check and was told she had less than a week to decide.
Either way I don't understand why she would need a "break" after dating for so long because of some health problems. Also sounds to me like she takes a break every time she wants to bang another dude. The moral of the story: run.

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04-11-2013, 03:19 PM
  #915
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Broke up with girlfriend. Normally I don't care. Have three dates already set up but I'm just not psyched about it. Hmmm, what to do.

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04-11-2013, 05:47 PM
  #916
Auguste Escoffier
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Broke up with girlfriend. Normally I don't care. Have three dates already set up but I'm just not psyched about it. Hmmm, what to do.
Just don't read her Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

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04-11-2013, 05:49 PM
  #917
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Just don't read her Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
Oh I won't. Its just odd to feel any kind of emotion about the whole thing. Normally I would line up some dates with others and be psyched. Right now? Not psyched. More exhausted than anything. Damnit.

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Old
04-11-2013, 08:11 PM
  #918
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Well she legitely didn't know, she found out literally days before she had it done. She was convinced and apparently told by doctors that it wasn't possible, so when things started happening that seemed like it she completely passed it off to an apparent thyroid problem that the doctor told her she had when she would have been at 2 months. She was going to the doctor to figure out what was wrong with her and they did blood tests and all they told her was it is a thyroid problem. She finally decided to take a test came back positive then went to the doctor again to have them check and was told she had less than a week to decide.
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Either way I don't understand why she would need a "break" after dating for so long because of some health problems. Also sounds to me like she takes a break every time she wants to bang another dude. The moral of the story: run.
Yeah man, a girl needing to take a complete communication break isn't a good thing. Just from the details you've given us here my take is that you are really into this girl because she's really cool, easy to talk to and be around, enough so that you're willing to look past her self-admitted "baggage." Personally, I think she told you deserve better because she wanted to hear you stroke her ego, which it sounds like you did.

How long were you dating; was the New Year's you got together on this year or when? How old are both of you? I didn't see where you said you love this girl, so do/did you and you just didn't want to use that word with a bunch of dudes here?

In any case, I tend to agree with Kitten Mittons. Chances are during those self-imposed breaks she was probably banging some other guy(s). No matter what, she's given herself a bit of an out by calling herself damaged goods and telling you that you deserve better. You should probably be glad she didn't keep the baby and move on.

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04-11-2013, 08:21 PM
  #919
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Yeah man, a girl needing to take a complete communication break isn't a good thing. Just from the details you've given us here my take is that you are really into this girl because she's really cool, easy to talk to and be around, enough so that you're willing to look past her self-admitted "baggage." Personally, I think she told you deserve better because she wanted to hear you stroke her ego, which it sounds like you did.

How long were you dating; was the New Year's you got together on this year or when? How old are both of you? I didn't see where you said you love this girl, so do/did you and you just didn't want to use that word with a bunch of dudes here?

In any case, I tend to agree with Kitten Mittons. Chances are during those self-imposed breaks she was probably banging some other guy(s). No matter what, she's given herself a bit of an out by calling herself damaged goods and telling you that you deserve better. You should probably be glad she didn't keep the baby and move on.
To the bolded, all I responded to with that was that I'm good at carrying baggage (reality is she doesn't have as much as she believes she does). During that convo I made sure to avoid things that would stroke her ego.

We were together "officially" for about 7 months, otherwise we were together for a 10 months. I'm 25, she's jsut about to turn 24. I did/do love her, only reason i feel like i still do is because I'm still trying, if i didn't I'd have walked away by now. My friend at work who talks to her alot gets the feeling from her she was scared of how serious her feelings were for me. She claims to be this big ***** (which she's not by any means she's actually quite the opposite) and can't just say the words stop or it's over. Which is really what I think I finally need.

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Old
04-11-2013, 09:04 PM
  #920
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Seems like you are the only one who's trying. It should be a two-way street. While you're stressing out and thinking of how to make her yours, she is dating some random dude(s). Time for you to find someone else too.

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04-11-2013, 09:39 PM
  #921
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Frauen mit grosse bruste sind sehr schwer.
haha thats right

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Old
04-12-2013, 07:57 PM
  #922
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I'm bored.

Someone please tell a really desperate/funny/awkward lady advice-thread story plz. Feels like it's been a while since we last had a really good one.

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04-13-2013, 04:44 AM
  #923
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I'm bored.

Someone please tell a really desperate/funny/awkward lady advice-thread story plz. Feels like it's been a while since we last had a really good one.
I have plenty, but I'd be banned for posting them here, even if they were 'censored'. People are just looking for an excuse for the ban hammer because, well, I'm me.

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04-13-2013, 04:53 AM
  #924
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Broke up with girlfriend. Normally I don't care. Have three dates already set up but I'm just not psyched about it. Hmmm, what to do.
Wow the Women for Men ratio in Winnipeg must be extremely high

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04-13-2013, 04:56 AM
  #925
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Wow the Women for Men ratio in Winnipeg must be extremely high
Naw. He's just a pimp. We've all seen the proof.

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