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OT Thread XIV: Hayley Williams - Ending Wars One Wink At a Time

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02-18-2013, 06:41 PM
  #226
Killem Dafoe
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02-18-2013, 06:48 PM
  #227
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God nothing I hate more than wakes. I usually get more awkward than anything else. With everyone crying around me just adds to it. Hate them. When I die, I just want to be cremated and secretly sprinkled into the Rangers morning coffee on a game day.
This just about sums up my thoughts.

It's so awkward because most of the social norms and mannerisms go right out the window. It's like a whole new set of what's considered right and wrong are adopted. Also considering that many of them are focused around religion, it doesn't help that I'm as non-religious as they come.

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02-18-2013, 06:57 PM
  #228
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What is a wake?

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02-18-2013, 07:06 PM
  #229
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What is a wake?
I'm Jewish so I'm probably wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's an open-casket memorial Christians/Catholics have before the burial.

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02-18-2013, 07:07 PM
  #230
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I'm Jewish so I'm probably wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's an open-casket memorial Christians/Catholics have before the burial.
Us Jews call it Shiva.

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02-18-2013, 07:08 PM
  #231
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Us Jews call it Shiva.
Or called "the most boring thing ever."

When I die, I don't want one done for me. I'm already putting my loved ones through pain by dying, and also I have to make them sit through that for a week?

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02-18-2013, 07:14 PM
  #232
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I'd want people to laugh and party when I die. Not stand around crying and hugging each other. It's uncomfortable. Then you lock eyes with someone across the room and their eyes are misty and welled and they walk over to you with their arms open for a hug, and naturally you are going to hug them, but they start sobbing into your chest and you're standing there wishing you could trade places with the person in the casket.

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02-18-2013, 07:16 PM
  #233
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I do wakes then although they're mostly not in caskets and mostly on the side of the road around my grocery store. I never know if they're just unconscious or dead or somewhere in between. Saw a man eat a package of raw chicken a few weeks ago. Saw him at the counter when he bought more expensive marinated chicken and I was wondering why spend that extra money if you're homeless. It all made sense soon.

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02-18-2013, 07:18 PM
  #234
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Originally Posted by Killem Dafoe View Post
I'd want people to laugh and party when I die. Not stand around crying and hugging each other. It's uncomfortable. Then you lock eyes with someone across the room and their eyes are misty and welled and they walk over to you with their arms open for a hug, and naturally you are going to hug them, but they start sobbing into your chest and you're standing there wishing you could trade places with the person in the casket.
I will laugh and party when you die, Killem. When others won't, I will. They'll try and stop me with their society norms and security guards but I won't relent.

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02-18-2013, 07:21 PM
  #235
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I will laugh and party when you die, Killem. When others won't, I will. They'll try and stop me with their society norms and security guards but I won't relent.
Good. I'm serious. I have yet found a friend who will agree to do ONE thing for me when i die. In the middle of the wake while you're kneeling or standing at the casket, shout out as loud as you can; "He just moved! He's alive! Sean is alive! He's breathing! Nahhh I'm just kidding he's pretty ****ing dead still." haha If you will do that for me I will make a will and state that plane tickets need to be sent to you in the event of my death to attend my wake.

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02-18-2013, 07:24 PM
  #236
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Good. I'm serious. I have yet found a friend who will agree to do ONE thing for me when i die. In the middle of the wake while you're kneeling or standing at the casket, shout out as loud as you can; "He just moved! He's alive! Sean is alive! He's breathing! Nahhh I'm just kidding he's pretty ****ing dead still." haha If you will do that for me I will make a will and state that plane tickets need to be sent to you in the event of my death to attend my wake.
Too many roaches in Florida. Maybe if you moved somewhere where there are no infestations of insects and is relatively mild in temperature. We should all just move to Sweden one day. Just... I want to move. I hate this place.

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02-18-2013, 07:25 PM
  #237
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Too many roaches in Florida. Maybe if you moved somewhere where there are no infestations of insects and is relatively mild in temperature. We should all just move to Sweden one day. Just... I want to move. I hate this place.
I would move to Sweden in a New York minute. I'd have my funeral in Jersey though. Most my friends and family are there.

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02-18-2013, 07:53 PM
  #238
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Just got back from said wake. Awkward as hell. A very religious Irish Catholic family and I'm an Atheist so it can get a bit uncomfortable and all.

That wasn't even the most awkward thing about the event. The only saying more prevalent than the well wishes to the grieving family was everyone complimenting me on how good I looked in my suit/how they haven't seen me in forever/"omg u r liek so tall now". No one can ever die again because I don't want to do this again.

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02-18-2013, 08:00 PM
  #239
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Just got back from said wake. Awkward as hell. A very religious Irish Catholic family and I'm an Atheist so it can get a bit uncomfortable and all.

That wasn't even the most awkward thing about the event. The only saying more prevalent than the well wishes to the grieving family was everyone complimenting me on how good I looked in my suit/how they haven't seen me in forever/"omg u r liek so tall now". No one can ever die again because I don't want to do this again.
This post is literally an accurate statement for every wake I've been to in the last three or four years. My favorite line is "Wow, look at you. You're not a boy anymore, you're a man now! Oh my god!" or something along those lines.

The worst part for me, as an Athiest, is that the casket is always near the closest relatives of the deceased (parents, children, siblings etc.). Once I get to express my condolences to them, I don't know whether or not I should approach the casket and 'pray' (so I don't offend the family) or if I should just walk away. It's an awkward stand off for a few moments most of the time.

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02-18-2013, 08:04 PM
  #240
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I would move to Sweden in a New York minute. I'd have my funeral in Jersey though. Most my friends and family are there.
Actually... if you moved to Sweden, would you mind if i tagged along? A;ways been my lifelong dream to start a family there.

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02-18-2013, 08:05 PM
  #241
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I also don't care much for observing cadavers covered in makeup from close distances. I have this thought in my head that they'll open up their eyes and say, "Boo".

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02-18-2013, 08:08 PM
  #242
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I'm totally down with moving to Sweden. I am reloacting in the next 2-3 years and I'm not sure where. It's all up in the air right now because of the illegal status of online poker in the US. Sweden is far far away but it's worth a thought.

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02-18-2013, 08:12 PM
  #243
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Fish N' Chips for dinner. Ling cod and thirce cooked sea salt chips with an odd orange dipping concoction I made for the chips. It doesn't sing but it kills a lot of the grease and is crunchy as living hell. Always thrice cook your chips. It's like glass without all the discomfort of glass but is so crunchy it makes you think it's like glass but it's not because it's chips.

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02-18-2013, 08:15 PM
  #244
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I also don't care much for observing cadavers covered in makeup from close distances. I have this thought in my head that they'll open up their eyes and say, "Boo".
Best practical joke ever.

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02-18-2013, 08:17 PM
  #245
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Best practical joke ever.
Based on the super sarcastic nature of some of your posts, I consider you a candidate to actually attempt this.

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02-18-2013, 08:23 PM
  #246
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Based on the super sarcastic nature of some of your posts, I consider you a candidate to actually attempt this.
It would be a tough one to pull off. Some day.

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02-18-2013, 08:25 PM
  #247
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It would be a tough one to pull off. Some day.
If you can find a way to survive the embalming process....

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02-18-2013, 08:26 PM
  #248
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Actually... if you moved to Sweden, would you mind if i tagged along? A;ways been my lifelong dream to start a family there.
Are you trying to tell me something?

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02-18-2013, 08:27 PM
  #249
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It would be a tough one to pull off. Some day.
you could do something like that when you're really old and you're planning on moving to a cabin to live out the rest of your life. Fake your death, do that at the funeral and then surprise people and announce that you're going to live it out in serenity and peace and say your goodbyes there and ride off on a horse into the distance.

Get on a plane and fly to Vegas.

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02-18-2013, 08:32 PM
  #250
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I keep getting errors when i click on posts.

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