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How to control the frustration?

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08-22-2013, 11:11 PM
  #1
TheSkatingDead
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How to control the frustration?

After tonight's blowout loss, our beer league is only one game away from ending... Our team has played horrible all session and I can't find my groove anymore. I was the first round pick this session and just cannot seem to generate any offense or bank any goals... and feel like a complete flop. I workout 4-5 times a week, read hockey articles, watch videos... anything to better myself. Basically I live and beathe hockey.

So at this point I'm just completely frustrated with everything and it's starting to show... on the ice, the bench and the lockeroom. Slamming my stick, slamming the doors and so on... Yeah, I'm aware it's childish, but I can't seem to control my frustration anymore.

Minus the upcoming break, what can I do to fix this? What can I do to just have fun with it? Is it time to just hang up my skates? I'm at wits end and need some adivice... thanks.

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08-22-2013, 11:16 PM
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JoeCool16
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It's your team/league, I practically guarantee it. If you're on the same team try a different line, or if you don't feel on the same page as them, try a new team. Having chemistry and feeling like you're being effective out there goes a long way towards having fun. Feeling useless and ineffective isn't going to. If all else fails, look for what was fun before and what changed, and if it's easy to tell, try to remedy the situation.

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08-22-2013, 11:29 PM
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iLandHer
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I've never been into stick slamming or any of that, I try to focus all my negative energy into my game and keep on pushing. Maybe look to someone else to pick up some slack until you get into more of a rhythm again?

There have been different times where I've felt I needed to pick up my play in order to help our better players get back to their game.

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08-22-2013, 11:37 PM
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beth
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I really wouldn't want to play on a team where people were taking it so seriously that they were slamming sticks and doors. It's BEER league. How is your chemistry off-ice? Do you drink together afterwards? It's supposed to be fun.

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08-23-2013, 01:42 AM
  #5
Terry Yake
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it sounds like you're just taking it way too seriously and being too hard on yourself. just stop thinking about all the struggles and put it behind you

try to focus more on building chemistry with your teammates. maybe try skating on a new line with different players and most of all, just go out there to have fun. after all, it is beer league

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08-23-2013, 06:14 AM
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JBauerly97
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Take a few days off of reading or watching anything hockey related. Just get it out of your head. Sometimes it's like the sand in our hand thing, the harder you squeeze, the more you'll lose. Like others said, just try to go out and relax, have fun, maybe drink a few BEFORE the game if you have to lol.

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08-23-2013, 07:48 AM
  #7
The Saurus
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My advice: it's a beer league and you should be having fun. If you aren't having fun, it's probably a good idea to step away from hockey for awhile.

Tone it down a bit, stop slamming doors / your stick, and have some fun.

BTW, I agree with the poster above, have some beer before you get on the ice. Perhaps it'll loosen you up.

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08-23-2013, 09:48 AM
  #8
beth
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I don't recommend the beer before the game - I did that the last game I played and I'm still healing from my broken collarbone. :-P After, definitely after.

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08-23-2013, 10:22 AM
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Slats432
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If you won 10 championships in a row and won every scoring title by 30 points, you would still be a beer leaguer.

What matters is the competition within yourself, during the competition. When the game is over, it is over.

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08-23-2013, 11:33 AM
  #10
leftwinger37
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Hockey Tough by Dr. Saul Miller has the answers to all of your problems.

Dr. Miller should start seriously start giving me a commission...

You're focusing too much on what you are doing wrong. The only way you can turn things around is by focusing on what you are doing right; no matter how little those things may seem.

This thread has a lot of applicable information. It's geared toward scoring slumps but can be applied to any kind of slump, really.

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08-23-2013, 11:54 AM
  #11
Silence Of The Plams
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I'd have to say find a new group to play with, that is fun for you and compliments eachother.

Regarding controling frustration, I just swear and take out my frustration via checking

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08-23-2013, 04:54 PM
  #12
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Make the decision to control it and then control it.

It's just you prefer to not hold yourself accountable in that regard in the moment. Showing the frustration is entirely within your control and to suggest otherwise is lacking personal accountability; regardless of the situation.You may find certain situations yield more people that support whatever reaction you may have, but you are only as accountable as you decide to hold yourself to because YOU want to.

As far as how to work through the funk, I suggest focusing on doing a couple small/simple things really well. The rest will follow.

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08-23-2013, 05:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSkatingDead View Post
After tonight's blowout loss, our beer league is only one game away from ending... Our team has played horrible all session and I can't find my groove anymore. I was the first round pick this session and just cannot seem to generate any offense or bank any goals... and feel like a complete flop. I workout 4-5 times a week, read hockey articles, watch videos... anything to better myself. Basically I live and beathe hockey.

So at this point I'm just completely frustrated with everything and it's starting to show... on the ice, the bench and the lockeroom. Slamming my stick, slamming the doors and so on... Yeah, I'm aware it's childish, but I can't seem to control my frustration anymore.

Minus the upcoming break, what can I do to fix this? What can I do to just have fun with it? Is it time to just hang up my skates? I'm at wits end and need some adivice... thanks.
This.

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08-23-2013, 06:41 PM
  #14
torero
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I do not konw your situation ... as well as your choices.

But all in all:

first : their is nothing wrong in wanting to play well in any league.
after a blowout loss and an awfull season, frustration is at its highest ... that is pretty normal.

then look also about a problem in you ... because your attitude is : being negative !

++

if it is not in you, you play too seriously or too well for the others of your team .... and are frustrated

Can you play with another team that is more like you ? to be more in sync with them ?

++

If you have no choice, and are forced to play int THIS team, try to become positive and to embark other players in your mindset so as to form "elite" lines in your team.
Be entrepreneurial and within your team ... start having a leading role. Very good for your personal development.

But do not overreact ... if it is your only team in a town ... they are still your buddies !!

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08-23-2013, 10:10 PM
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Devil Dancer
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I don't see anything wrong with a little stick slamming and beating yourself up. Most of the guys I play with do it from time to time. It's OK as long as you don't take it too far, and as long as you only take it out on yourself, and no one else. Also, when the game's over let it go. Don't be a dick in the locker room, have a beer, relax, and unwind.

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08-23-2013, 10:18 PM
  #16
JoeCool16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Blob View Post
This.
Lol you're telling him to quit hockey because he's frustrated that he's on a team that is terrible, getting blown out and he feels he can't do anything to change that?

I've been in that spot before, and it sucks. It sucks to chase the puck for 60 minutes each game while touching it like 2-3 times and having nobody being open when you do get it, and I've had that for an entire season. It's a terrible feeling because it makes it hard to play the game you love.

No man, it's NOT time to hang up the skates. It may be time to find a team in a lower division if you feel you're chasing the play way too much, or maybe a different team in general if you aren't having fun with these guys/don't think it's a team that's built to ever be competitive.

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08-24-2013, 03:49 AM
  #17
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Originally Posted by leftwinger37 View Post
Hockey Tough by Dr. Saul Miller has the answers to all of your problems.

Dr. Miller should start seriously start giving me a commission...

You're focusing too much on what you are doing wrong. The only way you can turn things around is by focusing on what you are doing right; no matter how little those things may seem.

This thread has a lot of applicable information. It's geared toward scoring slumps but can be applied to any kind of slump, really.
I second that book suggestion, it is even on my desk right now

I had/have the same problem, but I'm starting to get it under control. The chapters on power-thoughts, breathing (and "directing energy") to shift focus and getting into the right frame of mind (difference between intro- and extroverts) really helped a lot. For me working hard each and every shift is essential, but beating myself up doesn't help neither in the situation nor in general. Acknowledge what went wrong but stop dwelling on it, don't think about the last shift always look towards the next shift. Clear your head, leave personal problems outside the rink, and do what you came for: give it your best and enjoy your time on the ice, and thats how you get out of a slump (or at least how I started to get out of mine - a little better each week).

And if after you "fixed" yourself re-evaluate your situation, if you still can't find a way to work with your current team/line then look at other options.

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08-24-2013, 11:19 AM
  #18
Silence Of The Plams
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Originally Posted by Green Blob View Post
This.
Wow, no. Try again next time..



SkatingDead, Take it easy and just try again next season/game. Switch teams or lines, see what works for you. Maybe a rest?

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08-24-2013, 12:07 PM
  #19
TickleMeYandle
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Originally Posted by JoeCool16 View Post
Lol you're telling him to quit hockey because he's frustrated that he's on a team that is terrible, getting blown out and he feels he can't do anything to change that?

I've been in that spot before, and it sucks. It sucks to chase the puck for 60 minutes each game while touching it like 2-3 times and having nobody being open when you do get it, and I've had that for an entire season. It's a terrible feeling because it makes it hard to play the game you love.
Been there, done that. I've spent multiple seasons on teams that can't seem to get it together and yet because of the way the system is set up, there is little that I can personally do to change the outcome. It gets soooooooo frustrating to play when you have the cards stacked against you. On a single game basis, you can deal with it - but when it's for an entire season, it just gets more painful each game that you play.

I would take this break between seasons to regroup. take a break from the ice, and think about what you can do next season to change. Do you enjoy being with the people on your team? Is their focus on having fun, or winning games? If your goal and theirs is different, perhaps a change in teams would help. If you stick with the same team, what can be changed within the team - maybe different lines or trying a different position for even just a single game could help.

I was feeling down this past season due to some things that really weren't within my power to change. Similar situation - we just couldn't get it together, and there were other things that made us unlikely to win much. We shook things up a bit figuring it couldn't hurt, we were already losing every game - and we ended up actually beating a team that had gone undefeated all season - with a shutout! After that, it didn't really matter what else happened because we had done something we didn't really think possible. Now there are some interesting things going on in that league and I'm again looking forward to the new season.

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08-24-2013, 12:21 PM
  #20
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Originally Posted by TriCycleDriveBy View Post
I've never been into stick slamming or any of that, I try to focus all my negative energy into my game and keep on pushing. Maybe look to someone else to pick up some slack until you get into more of a rhythm again?

There have been different times where I've felt I needed to pick up my play in order to help our better players get back to their game.
This. Deep breath and channel frustration into your skating. Don't tighten up play relaxed, just need a few bounces even the pros go through this. Remember hockey is the most fun you can have! Even losing can be fun. Take a leadership role and make sure everyone is working their butts off while also being relaxed and having fun.

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08-24-2013, 12:51 PM
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do0glas
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we had a guy on my team get suspended for a while cuz he slammed his stick on the boards and stuff. damaging property.

when the refs start letting penalties escalate/one side bias etc, it can be VERY frustrating. but the winning/losing doesnt bother me.

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08-25-2013, 06:33 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by JoeCool16 View Post
Lol you're telling him to quit hockey because he's frustrated that he's on a team that is terrible, getting blown out and he feels he can't do anything to change that?

I've been in that spot before, and it sucks. It sucks to chase the puck for 60 minutes each game while touching it like 2-3 times and having nobody being open when you do get it, and I've had that for an entire season. It's a terrible feeling because it makes it hard to play the game you love.

No man, it's NOT time to hang up the skates. It may be time to find a team in a lower division if you feel you're chasing the play way too much, or maybe a different team in general if you aren't having fun with these guys/don't think it's a team that's built to ever be competitive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guess What View Post
Wow, no. Try again next time..



SkatingDead, Take it easy and just try again next season/game. Switch teams or lines, see what works for you. Maybe a rest?
Ask a dumb question get a dumb response, ever heard of that?

Obviously I wasn't being serious but he asked it.

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08-26-2013, 09:04 AM
  #23
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Its extremely important to have control over your mind and spirit. In order to strengthen these parts of your life you need to practice and train it, just like you would your body. All three aspects of life, body mind and spirit, are vastly important in your life no matter what you do.

Just like your physical abilities, you cannnot train in one day and expect to see valuable or consistent results. You have to work at it everyday and more so on certain days.

To answer the question directly, in order to control your emotions I think you need to really work on meditation. No harm, only benefits, in taking some time out of your day to review your life. Sit down with no electronics around you, try it by yourself but feel free to include friends/family to join you on occasion. Reviewing what is going on in your life at the moment or reliving past memories or even reviewing your goals and your life paths can ultimately help clear your head. Besides doing some meditation, you can ALSO go for walks and really look into breathing techniques and breathing practices.

These are all ways to improve your mental and spiritual strength.

This will help you control SOME of your anger towards failure. Clearing your mind and strengthening these areas of your personal self will really help towards improving your physical abilities and this does not mean just sports but doing your daily activities or pushing through the weekly grind.





NOW.
It seems like your a real work horse. One piece of advice I found very helpful in my career when I go through slumps is to stop thinking about offense.

We all go through slumps. Sometimes when I go through them I try to attack more. I try to get open more and push up a bit more. Basically, focusing more on scoring has left me and my team more open to getting scored on. Then the team looks broken and we lose games. Not scoring is one thing, but playing bad overall and losing games is another.

My dad once told me that really helped me out in those situations. He repeated what he heard Mark Messier say once... "You cant focus on scoring goals, the goals will come just play hard and play smart and the goals will come." [maybe a loose translation of the quote if Messier said it at all, but It always stuck with me and I even use it in life.

You cant always worry about putting in goals or putting up points. Defense is much more important as defense not only stops the other team from scoring but it helps translate into a good offense.

So when I see I am playing offensively bad, when I am being shut down by other team. I see that I am doing way to much and now its hurting my team and my line defensively and in other aspects of the game. I take a seat back. Instead of pushing up, I let my wingers do the work. I just play gritty and hard and focus on my positioning. I make sure we win the puck back in our zone and then I dish it out to my wingers for them to attack. Ill sit back and slowly encroach the offense looking for an open area to roam. Stick down, head up and just playing smart. Simple and quick passes. Then next thing ya know I get a few good shots on net and maybe I still dont score but my line might and even if we dont we are assured a balanced score sheet on our end.

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08-26-2013, 02:11 PM
  #24
Jive Time
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leftwinger37 View Post
Hockey Tough by Dr. Saul Miller has the answers to all of your problems.

Dr. Miller should start seriously start giving me a commission...

You're focusing too much on what you are doing wrong. The only way you can turn things around is by focusing on what you are doing right; no matter how little those things may seem.

This thread has a lot of applicable information. It's geared toward scoring slumps but can be applied to any kind of slump, really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gosinger View Post
I second that book suggestion, it is even on my desk right now

I had/have the same problem, but I'm starting to get it under control. The chapters on power-thoughts, breathing (and "directing energy") to shift focus and getting into the right frame of mind (difference between intro- and extroverts) really helped a lot. For me working hard each and every shift is essential, but beating myself up doesn't help neither in the situation nor in general. Acknowledge what went wrong but stop dwelling on it, don't think about the last shift always look towards the next shift. Clear your head, leave personal problems outside the rink, and do what you came for: give it your best and enjoy your time on the ice, and thats how you get out of a slump (or at least how I started to get out of mine - a little better each week).

And if after you "fixed" yourself re-evaluate your situation, if you still can't find a way to work with your current team/line then look at other options.
I picked up Hockey Tough based on the recommendations of this forum and I have to say, it really does work. There are some very simple methods and practices described in this book that are very effective in managing frustration and refocusing.

Well worth the money.

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08-26-2013, 02:45 PM
  #25
Kevin Danko
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Switch positions for a game or two, play the game different than how you normally play. I get on Streaks where I'll score a ton and then on i'll cool off for weeks at a time, i typically try and play a different position like Winger or Defense...im normally a center, then when im feeling confident at the other position I switch back up and play my normal center position again.

It seems to get you thinking about the game differently and can help to start building confidence again.

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