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Poem I wrote about Sather

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:01 AM
  #1
SnowblindNYR
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Poem I wrote about Sather

So I was debating for a while about posting this. Don't like putting my personal stuff on message boards too much and I'm also putting myself out there. But I figured at a terrible time to be a Rangers fan, I'll lighten the mood a bit. I wrote a poem about Glen Sather from Edmonton to NY a few years ago. Now, I'm not a huge hockey history buff so there might be a few errors there. Also, it was written circa 09 or 10 and some of the more recent stuff is arguably dated. Anyway, it's basically all metaphorical, the Oilers (and later Rangers) are an army. The most confusing metaphor is swords and shields, I use it as resources, whether money or FA signings. Be kind, lol!

Glen

Meet my friend
His name is Glen
He has the power
Of a thousand men

My good friend Glen
Wonít lift a ton
But with his power
He will stun

A powerful Army
He proudly commands
The fate of the soldiers
He holds in his hands

While Swords and shields
The soldiers lack,
For winning wars
They have a knack

Their battle skills
No armies rival
Their foes all cringe
At their arrival

For it will warm
The coldest heart
How Glen turned
Fighting into art

And in what corner
Of the Earth
Was this great army
Given birth?

Friend, you will find
The battleís best
In smallish town
To North and West

Far larger towns,
From South and East
Provide Glenís Army
With a feast

Yet greatest feast
Can turn to famine
That dark scenario
We examine

One man superior
To Glen
Controls the lives
Of all the men

The man is simply
Known as Pete
None, with his power
Can Compete

In an abuse
Of all his power
Peteís part of Poor
Glenís darkest hour

Glenís greatest warrior,
They call Wayne,
So many soldiers
He had slain

The greatest ever
At his craft
No equal would
An army draft

Yet in a decision
Heíll rue later
Pete sends Poor Wayne
Towards the equator

The greatest soldier
That remained
His reputation
Quickly gained

This awesome soldier
Known as Mark
Makes bright these days
That had gone dark

One final time
The Army rallies
But thatís the end
Of winning tallies

And itís the end of
Glenís big feast
As he sends Mark
To South and East

At South and East
In decadeís time
Glen finds himself
A chance to shine

No shortage there
Of swords and shields
But Glenís new Army
Always yields

No weapon known
That can instill
In Glenís new Army
Guts and will

And Glen increases
Swords and shields
Yet more dead bodies
Litter fields

Now Glen comes up
With a solution
To put the carnage
To conclusion

The armyís character
Heíll alter
Never again,
Will Glenís Troops falter

A whole new Army
Glen recruits,
The other towns
He quickly loots

No longer lacking
Guts and will,
Now they just need
A little skill

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:05 AM
  #2
Ail
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I hate poetry, but good effort.

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:17 AM
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HatTrick Swayze
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Haha solid effort. You inspired me. Sanity is dwindling. Yes I know the rhyming isn't perfect.

There once was a GM named Glen Sather
Who has not a brain but rather
A head full of slush,
His brain turned to mush
And endless talent to gather

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:21 AM
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SnowblindNYR
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Thanks guys!

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:24 AM
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pld459666
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I got a good one.
It's a Hiku
Glen Sather
**** You!!!

that actually rhymed

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pld459666 View Post
I got a good one.
It's a Hiku
Glen Sather
**** You!!!

that actually rhymed
I like this

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:42 AM
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Nice.

You are a much better poet than hockey analyst.

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Old
12-13-2013, 09:59 AM
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SnowblindNYR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleed Ranger Blue View Post
Nice.

You are a much better poet than hockey analyst.
Thanks. One out of two ain't bad.

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Old
12-13-2013, 10:03 AM
  #9
NYR510
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pld459666 View Post
I got a good one.
It's a Hiku
Glen Sather
**** You!!!

that actually rhymed

burst out laughing

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Old
12-13-2013, 10:03 AM
  #10
GAGLine
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Glen Sather, a stodgy fella,
Hockey's own Methuselah,
reigns atop a Garden transformed,
his stogy lit, his thoughts warmed,
by victories past and deals transacted,
and the many teams he's impacted.

He broods and he plans and he winks,
smarter than the rest, he thinks.
With able men in his band,
and countless dollars in his hand,
he wheels and he deals,
he covets and steals.

Then he looks upon his team,
cheeks a-rose and eyes agleam,
and wonders at their play so poor,
and who next should find the door.

And so it goes, one year to next,
Sather scheming and the fans vexed,
because he possesses too little wit,
and Dolan doesn't give a ****.

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Old
12-13-2013, 10:05 AM
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SnowblindNYR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GAGLine View Post
Glen Sather, a stodgy fella,
Hockey's own Methuselah,
reigns atop a Garden transformed,
his stogy lit, his thoughts warmed,
by victories past and deals transacted,
and the many teams he's impacted.

He broods and he plans and he winks,
smarter than the rest, he thinks.
With able men in his band,
and countless dollars in his hand,
he wheels and he deals,
he covets and steals.

Then he looks upon his team,
cheeks a-rose and eyes agleam,
and wonders at their play so poor,
and who next should find the door.

And so it goes, one year to next,
Sather scheming and the fans vexed,
because he possesses too little wit,
and Dolan doesn't give a ****.
Wow, that's really good!

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Old
12-13-2013, 10:45 AM
  #12
GordonGecko
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The Rose is Red
The Violet is a Blue Shirt
Forget about Scoring
The Team Can't Convert

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Old
12-13-2013, 10:55 AM
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Lovely

I wanna try.

Oh my god Sather.
You are an awful GM.
****ing retire.


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Old
12-13-2013, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspewtin View Post
Oh my god Sather.
You are an awful GM.
****ing retire.
Winner. 10/10. Best haiku ever.

I would have changed the last line to be "get ****ing fired" but that will do fine.

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Old
12-13-2013, 01:55 PM
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JohnC
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We need a win big time

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:23 PM
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Great work.

I would love to hear the Lundqvist poem next.

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:25 PM
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If we are sharing poems, I actually wrote this a while back

*Note pls, snap every time you read AV
AV
what has become of he
coaches the game
takes the blame
AV
we should leave him be
he shouldnt get the blame
cause hes not playing the game
AV
He cant score goals
because the roster is full of holes
Sather is at fault
so we should all halt
AV
He may chew his gum
But he is not a bum
AV

be kind it is emotional to share my poetry



totally forget

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:26 PM
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Raspewtin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pep View Post
Great work.

I would love to hear the Lundqvist poem next.
Henrik what the ****
That goal was so ****ing soft
Oh it's Cam, oh well.

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:28 PM
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Killem Dafoe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYR2047 View Post
If we are sharing poems, I actually wrote this a while back

*Note pls, snap every time you read AV
AV
what has become of he
coaches the game
takes the blame
AV
we should leave him be
he shouldnt get the blame
cause hes not playing the game
AV
He cant score goals
because the roster is full of holes
Sather is at fault
so we should all halt
AV
He may chew his gum
But he is not a bum
AV

be kind it is emotional to share my poetry



totally forget

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:29 PM
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nyrpassion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYR2047 View Post
If we are sharing poems, I actually wrote this a while back

*Note pls, snap every time you read AV
AV
what has become of he
coaches the game
takes the blame
AV
we should leave him be
he shouldnt get the blame
cause hes not playing the game
AV
He cant score goals
because the roster is full of holes
Sather is at fault
so we should all halt
AV
He may chew his gum
But he is not a bum
AV

be kind it is emotional to share my poetry



totally forget
..now i'm here just sitting snapping like a ******

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:34 PM
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JohnC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYR2047 View Post
If we are sharing poems, I actually wrote this a while back

*Note pls, snap every time you read AV
AV
what has become of he
coaches the game
takes the blame
AV
we should leave him be
he shouldnt get the blame
cause hes not playing the game
AV
He cant score goals
because the roster is full of holes
Sather is at fault
so we should all halt
AV
He may chew his gum
But he is not a bum
AV

be kind it is emotional to share my poetry



totally forget
So much better than OP's AINEC

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:43 PM
  #22
Aufheben
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Well, this team does make me feel like Sylvia Plath. I can't write poetry though.

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:43 PM
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Thirty One
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Oh Stepan you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Stepan

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -31- View Post
Oh Stepan you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Stepan
thinnin hair
what do we care

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Old
12-13-2013, 02:50 PM
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nyrpassion
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Del Zotto
He's a Gongshow
Loses the puck
Ranger's fan yell, "****"

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