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I had a vision!

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Old
05-02-2006, 10:46 AM
  #1
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I had a vision!

As I layeth in bed last night, an angel came to me. Whence he saw the fear in my eyes, he touched my shoulder and told me not to fear. "I am an angel, sent from Saku Koivu to bring you great news", he sayeth, "The lord hath seen that you are meek and small among Canadiens fans and among all hockey fans there are none more humble. Thus he decideth to give you this message such that you shall rejoice and share the good news with all habdom."

With that he gave me a glass of water and told me to drink it. I drank it completely and fell in a deep stupor.

Thus I had a dream:
The angel taketh me to the top of a very high building.

"Look down, he instructed me.

I looked down and I saw the God Saku Koivu riding in a chariot pulled by 200 horse powers. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters. And he had in his right hand seven tickets: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged hockey stick: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength. And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that liveth, and was blind; and, behold, I can see for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death. Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter. The mystery of the seven tickets which thou sawest in my right hand. The seven tickets is the number of games that will have to take place before the dark evil force of Carolina is defeated.

"But almost everyone believes that the powers of habdom will fail and that Carolina will run you over".

"Man of little faith", he started with the anger of a Finnish god in his voice, "Do you not seeyeth the Silver trophy laying to the left of me?"

I turned around to see the stanley cup beside the Lord Saku and noticed that there were millions of angels all around me on both sides of me cheering for the Lord".

"But howwwww, what happened"

"I may not tell you now, for it is for you to find out tonight at 7:00 EST/ 7:30 maritimes. But enjoy the show as my Alex Kovalev Christ gives them what they had coming. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

With that I woke up... The angel lay behind me and my behind hurt really bad. WHen the angel saw that I was awake, he left quickly.

I don't know what all this means, but I do hope that it's good news...


Last edited by Kerberos: 05-02-2006 at 11:22 AM.
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Old
05-02-2006, 10:48 AM
  #2
Shabutie
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Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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05-02-2006, 10:50 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Shabutie
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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05-02-2006, 10:52 AM
  #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerberos
Whence he saw the fear in my eyes, he touched my shoulder and told me not to fear.
Should read 'thine' surely?





Liked the bit about the Alex Kovalev Christ though. May he smite our common enemies.

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05-02-2006, 10:59 AM
  #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shabutie
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't see anyone else having visions, so my cocaine induced vision will have to do!

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05-02-2006, 11:01 AM
  #6
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I will follow thy Cocaine vision through the valley of shadow onto the steps of salvation...

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05-02-2006, 11:03 AM
  #7
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This is one of the better blasphemous parodies of the first chapter of Revelation that I have ever seen.

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05-02-2006, 11:06 AM
  #8
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Is this an exerpt from Exodus or the legend of Valhalla?

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05-02-2006, 11:15 AM
  #9
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Cocaine, or poutine left on the kitchen counter too long?

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05-02-2006, 11:18 AM
  #10
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All hail the Great Kerberos

Let all who have the true faith be protected, inspired and bedridden by him.


All hail the Great Kerberos

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05-02-2006, 11:18 AM
  #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyclaus
Is this an exerpt from Exodus or the legend of Valhalla?
THIS is exodus:

25:1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
25:2 Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.
25:3 And this is the offering which ye shall take of them; gold, and silver, and brass,
25:4 And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair,
25:5 And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and ****tim wood,
25:6 Oil for the light, spices for anointing oil, and for sweet incense,
25:7 Onyx stones, and stones to be set in the ephod, and in the breastplate.
25:8 And let them make me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them.
25:9 According to all that I shew thee, after the pattern of the tabernacle, and the pattern of all the instruments thereof, even so shall ye make it.
25:10 And they shall make an ark of ****tim wood: two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof.
25:11 And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, within and without shalt thou overlay it, and shalt make upon it a crown of gold round about.
25:12 And thou shalt cast four rings of gold for it, and put them in the four corners thereof; and two rings shall be in the one side of it, and two rings in the other side of it.
25:13 And thou shalt make staves of ****tim wood, and overlay them with gold.
25:14 And thou shalt put the staves into the rings by the sides of the ark, that the ark may be borne with them.
25:15 The staves shall be in the rings of the ark: they shall not be taken from it.
25:16 And thou shalt put into the ark the testimony which I shall give thee.
25:17 And thou shalt make a mercy seat of pure gold: two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof.
25:18 And thou shalt make two cherubims of gold, of beaten work shalt thou make them, in the two ends of the mercy seat.
25:19 And make one cherub on the one end, and the other cherub on the other end: even of the mercy seat shall ye make the cherubims on the two ends thereof.
25:20 And the cherubims shall stretch forth their wings on high, covering the mercy seat with their wings, and their faces shall look one to another; toward the mercy seat shall the faces of the cherubims be.
25:21 And thou shalt put the mercy seat above upon the ark; and in the ark thou shalt put the testimony that I shall give thee.
25:22 And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubims which are upon the ark of the testimony, of all things which I will give thee in commandment unto the children of Israel.
25:23 Thou shalt also make a table of ****tim wood: two cubits shall be the length thereof, and a cubit the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof.
25:24 And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, and make thereto a crown of gold round about.
25:25 And thou shalt make unto it a border of an hand breadth round about, and thou shalt make a golden crown to the border thereof round about.
25:26 And thou shalt make for it four rings of gold, and put the rings in the four corners that are on the four feet thereof.
25:27 Over against the border shall the rings be for places of the staves to bear the table.
25:28 And thou shalt make the staves of ****tim wood, and overlay them with gold, that the table may be borne with them.
25:29 And thou shalt make the dishes thereof, and spoons thereof, and covers thereof, and bowls thereof, to cover withal: of pure gold shalt thou make them.
25:30 And thou shalt set upon the table shewbread before me alway.
25:31 And thou shalt make a candlestick of pure gold: of beaten work shall the candlestick be made: his shaft, and his branches, his bowls, his knops, and his flowers, shall be of the same.
25:32 And six branches shall come out of the sides of it; three branches of the candlestick out of the one side, and three branches of the candlestick out of the other side:
25:33 Three bowls made like unto almonds, with a knop and a flower in one branch; and three bowls made like almonds in the other branch, with a knop and a flower: so in the six branches that come out of the candlestick.
25:34 And in the candlesticks shall be four bowls made like unto almonds, with their knops and their flowers.
25:35 And there shall be a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same, according to the six branches that proceed out of the candlestick.
25:36 Their knops and their branches shall be of the same: all it shall be one beaten work of pure gold.
25:37 And thou shalt make the seven lamps thereof: and they shall light the lamps thereof, that they may give light over against it.
25:38 And the tongs thereof, and the snuffdishes thereof, shall be of pure gold.
25:39 Of a talent of pure gold shall he make it, with all these vessels.
25:40 And look that thou make them after their pattern, which was shewed thee in the mount.



Yes, it's a book on home renovation.

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05-02-2006, 11:20 AM
  #12
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Isn't the game at 7?

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05-02-2006, 11:23 AM
  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Montrealer
Isn't the game at 7?
***TOP SECRET***


Last edited by Kerberos: 05-02-2006 at 11:30 AM.
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05-02-2006, 11:25 AM
  #14
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Originally Posted by Kerberos
***TOP SECRET***
I forgot to adjust for the Game 6 Time Differential! The game is at 11:45, Carolina players who read our board! Take a nice long nap at 7.

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05-02-2006, 11:28 AM
  #15
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I supppose this is as good a place as any to post the story of the last judgement
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate them as a moderator separates Leaf fans from Bruins fans. He will place the Leaf fans at his right hand and the Bruins fans at his left. Then the King will say to those on the right, `Come, you who are eternal optimists, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was highsticked, and you sympathized. I was in mourning, and you made me a card.
"Then these righteous ones will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you highsticked and do anything nice for you? Or in mourning and give you a card? And the King will tell them, `I assure you, what you did for Saku and the least of his fans, you did for me!'
"Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, `Away with you, you who are cursed, to where the cry of 'too many men on the ice' prepared for the Devil and his demons never ends! For I was injured, and you wished Williams played for the Bruins. I was upset, and you told a story about your dog Rusty.'
"Then they will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you injured or upset, and not help you?' And he will answer, `I assure you, when you refused to help Saku and the least of his fans, you were refusing to help me.' And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous to perpetual CBC Leafs coverage."

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05-02-2006, 11:33 AM
  #16
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where's 417 to mtl when you need him?

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Old
05-02-2006, 11:33 AM
  #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeyore
I supppose this is as good a place as any to post the story of the last judgement
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate them as a moderator separates Leaf fans from Bruins fans. He will place the Leaf fans at his right hand and the Bruins fans at his left. Then the King will say to those on the right, `Come, you who are eternal optimists, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was highsticked, and you sympathized. I was in mourning, and you made me a card.
"Then these righteous ones will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you highsticked and do anything nice for you? Or in mourning and give you a card? And the King will tell them, `I assure you, what you did for Saku and the least of his fans, you did for me!'
"Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, `Away with you, you who are cursed, to where the cry of 'too many men on the ice' prepared for the Devil and his demons never ends! For I was injured, and you wished Williams played for the Bruins. I was upset, and you told a story about your dog Rusty.'
"Then they will reply, `Lord, when did we ever see you injured or upset, and not help you?' And he will answer, `I assure you, when you refused to help Saku and the least of his fans, you were refusing to help me.' And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous to perpetual CBC Leafs coverage."

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05-02-2006, 11:34 AM
  #18
ChemiseBleuHonnete
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very redoundant...

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Old
05-02-2006, 11:35 AM
  #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by franchise player
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05-02-2006, 11:37 AM
  #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerberos
...The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
love the Pulp Fiction quote in your vision! Wish we had a couple of Vincent Vega & Jules Winnfield to get rid of some carolina players!

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Old
05-02-2006, 11:41 AM
  #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by franchise player
very redoundant...

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Old
05-02-2006, 11:50 AM
  #22
ChemiseBleuHonnete
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come on guys... I'm very optimistic for tonight's game but the only new threads are about how god is on our side, the other guy's girlfriend said the habs will win and some ****ing visions. I've seen threads getting deleted for less . But that's another debate.

Seriously, it's getting old...

Still

GO HABS GO

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Old
05-02-2006, 04:54 PM
  #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerberos
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Spell check, please, before you post a word 1000 times...

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05-02-2006, 05:14 PM
  #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalHabFan
Spell check, please, before you post a word 1000 times...
Hehehe...

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05-02-2006, 05:28 PM
  #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalHabFan
Spell check, please, before you post a word 1000 times...

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