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we want a gawd darn cannon

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Old
04-10-2007, 07:30 AM
  #1
DougKnowsBest
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we want a gawd darn cannon

http://www.dispatch.com/dispatch/con...5_366BDU3.html

out of the good the bad and the ugly

Cannon fodder
It's time to drive home the Civil War meaning behind the Blue Jackets' name. And what better way than indoor explosives.

Message to the Blue Jackets' game-operations folks: Get a cannon ... now!

Set it up around Section 110 or 111 and blast that sucker every time the Jackets take the ice or score a goal. It can be done. We've checked. Hitchcock loves the idea. So get it done.

While we're at it, three more wishes: enough of Machinehead, get a real organ and bring back Libby Turnow to sing the national anthem.

-- Aaron Portzline

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04-10-2007, 07:42 AM
  #2
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Props to Portzline for a very good summary of what was yet another disappointing season for the Blue Jackets. Extra props for pimping the cannon.

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04-10-2007, 08:21 AM
  #3
gonz
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Yah, a cannon. Indoors. What a great idea.

I do agree about getting a real organ in there instead of that... that... keyboard thingy. Cripes! It's a Hockey game, not a Falco tribute concert.

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04-10-2007, 08:35 AM
  #4
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Dispatch is knocking it outta the box the past couple of days. We rag on them when they dissapoint so its only fair to give a shout out to these guys when they produce coverage like this.

Excellent work Dispatch!

..and how bout that pimping the cannon - I mean really though, its a no-brainer!

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04-10-2007, 08:43 AM
  #5
pete goegan
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Good work by both Portzline and Arace; however, nobody should ever replace Leo!

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04-10-2007, 08:43 AM
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I'd seriously love to have Rock and Roll part 2 replaced when we score a goal with a bugle call and cannon shot.

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04-10-2007, 08:44 AM
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I only wish they would have included the following:


MORE REPLAYS!!


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04-10-2007, 08:56 AM
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"Portzline's Cannon"

I heart: Replays.
I Libby.
I Leo.
And I Zenigma.

And props to the Dispatch for great coverage this year.

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04-10-2007, 09:01 AM
  #9
jagpanzer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pete goegan View Post
Good work by both Portzline and Arace; however, nobody should ever replace Leo!
Agreed. Leo sits a few rows behind me. He drinks beer and yells at the players. If they want to switch on an off with Libby I'd be fine with that.

That was a really good article. About the only thing I'd add is that the win against Boston on the day after Christmas may have been one of the best games I've ever seen. It had it all and unlike the listed games, it was at home. We were finishing up the best December ever and if a good January and February could be had, the playoffs were in sight.

Still, a nice column and recap by Portzline.

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04-10-2007, 09:20 AM
  #10
KallioWeHardlyKnewYe
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Death to Machinehead!

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04-10-2007, 09:21 AM
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anteater90
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Love the article. So I am assuming Aaron reads this board often. It seemed like a plead for everything we wanted at the end of the article.

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04-10-2007, 09:25 AM
  #12
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definitely a great article, summed it all up very honestly.

the cannon will make it's appearance, guaranteed. especially with all the fan talk, the dispatch giving their 2 cents, and Hitch being on board as well. it will happen.


as for replays HELL YEA we need replays! i am sick of turning my head and squinting when i'm up in the rafters near the press box, straining to watch the FSN replay on their tvs. especially with all the goals they question, are we not entitled to as well see what they are questioning?

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Old
04-10-2007, 09:26 AM
  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anteater90 View Post
So I am assuming Aaron reads this board often. It seemed like a plead for everything we wanted at the end of the article.
yes i was thinking the same thing, its pretty obvious they read us...power to the people!!!!

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04-10-2007, 09:28 AM
  #14
Macster
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One of us is Portzline.

Hmmm.

I wonder who it is.

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04-10-2007, 09:34 AM
  #15
213 Sentinel
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I should be one of the loudest to scream "attaboy!" to the Dispatch. I've really been dissatisfied with their converage in the past, but I've been nothing but pleased with their coverage this season.

Kudos, gentlemen. Kudos to all. We seem to finally have hockey coverage for the fans and not the organization. Please keep it up.

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Old
04-10-2007, 09:58 AM
  #16
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So feel free to write into the Dispatch and send you kudos and comments to keep this kind of "gloves off" approach going in terms of coverage for this team:

Quote:
Write me at 34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, 43215, or e-mail sports@dispatch.com. Please include your hometown and telephone number, which will not be published.

Ray Stein is sports editor of The Dispatch.

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Old
04-10-2007, 10:04 AM
  #17
CBJSlash
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Hitch loves the Cannon..........that's all I need to know

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Old
04-10-2007, 10:19 AM
  #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macster View Post
One of us is Portzline.

Hmmm.

I wonder who it is.
Well, I would have thought it was obvious by now...

"I'm Aaron Portzline."

...and Pubs is Bob Hunter (that WAS obvious)

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04-10-2007, 10:44 AM
  #19
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I don't know who it was the suggested it (ETA: cbjhockey6), but I'm pretty sure it came up in the "Retire Vyborny's Number?" thread a while back.



I like the idea of a cannon, if it's the BlueJackets Cannon, make it more than just a noise. Try to build up some meaning in it.

The names of CBJ greats/favorites should be inscribed on its barrel. Do a nice ceremony each time, etc. Make it like the Cowboys "Ring of Honor" or whatever the call it. Then whenever the cannon goes off for a goal (almost 100 times a year! ), it's like the greats of old are leading the charge.

Put the cannon in one of the concourses (right near the main entrance on the Ice Haus end of the 'Nat - the other main entrance gets all the love already) so people can have their picture taken with it prior to games, see the names, feel the (eventual) history of CBJ hockey. Maybe even pat it as you come in, to give the team some luck (Enlist a "positive touch only" enforcer [we have one of those where I work, but her job is a little different, and requires anatomically correct dolls] who would prevent people wearing opposing jerseys from touching it. Possibly actually break the fingers/spinal cords of Red Wings fans who touch it.).

Wheel it to its game-time position by whoever is in charge of setting it off, wheel it back when the game is over. I go back and forth on whether this should be a crew bedecked in Civil War unis (including pantaloons) or not. Part of me likes the completion of the tableau, part of me just wants to leave well enough alone.

PS And shoot Koharski out of it.


Last edited by OnYourIgnoreList: 04-10-2007 at 01:06 PM.
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04-10-2007, 10:48 AM
  #20
Skraut
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Just rig it up like they do in Calgary so that it also goes off when the puck hits the crossbar

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04-10-2007, 10:57 AM
  #21
Byrral
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The Dispatch articles have been very critical the past couple of days. This team has struggled the entire season. They got off to a bad start and never caught up. A few critical articles popped up here and there from Hunter but now all of a sudden at the end of the season out comes the hammer from Portzline and Arace. Covering this team on a daily basis they had plenty of opportunity and ammunition to post scathing comments during the season. Why wait until the final horn has sounded to drop the A-Bomb? Could they be intimidated by a certain GM or afraid to ruffle feathers within a company that owns part of the team? The dispatch writers need to stop catering to the team and the newspaper and start doing their jobs, which is Sports Journalism. I do not disagree with the content but I do question the timing of their release.

One thing I do disagree with is this critique of Manny Malhotra:

• Skinny: He is what he is, which is a fourth-line center who doesn't hit.

I'm not a big Manny fan but the man does play with energy and takes the body when presented. He is not soft. They got this one wrong.

Edit for link: http://columbusdispatch.com/dispatch...5_366BE8O.html


Last edited by Byrral: 04-10-2007 at 11:07 AM.
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Old
04-10-2007, 11:01 AM
  #22
DougKnowsBest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IAMthespoon View Post
I don't know who it was the suggested it, but I'm pretty sure it came up in the "Retire Vyborny's Number?" thread a while back.

I like the idea of a cannon, if it's the BlueJackets Cannon, make it more than just a noise. Try to build up some meaning in it.

The names of CBJ greats/favorites should be inscribed on its barrel. Do a nice ceremony each time, etc. Make it like the Cowboys "Ring of Honor" or whatever the call it. Then whenever the cannon goes off for a goal (almost 100 times a year! ), it's like the greats of old are leading the charge.

Put the cannon in one of the concourses (right near the main entrance on the Ice Haus end of the 'Nat - the other main entrance gets all the love already) so people can have their picture taken with it prior to games, see the names, feel the (eventual) history of CBJ hockey. Maybe even pat it as you come in, to give the team some luck (Enlist a "positive touch only" enforcer [we have one of those where I work, but her job is a little different, and requires anatomically correct dolls] who would prevent people wearing opposing jerseys from touching it. Possibly actually break the fingers/spinal cords of Red Wings fans who touch it.).

Wheel it to its game-time position by whoever is in charge of setting it off, wheel it back when the game is over. I go back and forth on whether this should be a crew bedecked in Civil War unis (including pantaloons) or not. Part of me likes the completion of the tableau, part of me just wants to leave well enough alone.

PS And shoot Koharski out of it.
lOVE IT

strap cannons all over the NAT. forget getting a zamboni ride, i want to shoot the cannon


love the idea of having a brass cannon that people touch and make shiny on the end. perfect for pictures

i defiantly would like to see soldiers dressed up walking around the arena. Im picturing a couple snare drums, a flute, and some flag guys. there are more than enough civil war guys around the area to keep the NAT full of civil war reenactors

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Old
04-10-2007, 11:08 AM
  #23
Goaliemon89
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Props to the dispatch for tellin it like they see it.

Has anyone actually found online a place that sells a cannon that would be suitable for inside the nat?

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Old
04-10-2007, 11:09 AM
  #24
Skraut
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Byrral View Post

One thing I do disagree with is this critique of Manny Malhotra:

Skinny: He is what he is, which is a fourth-line center who doesn't hit.

I'm not a big Manny fan but the man does play with energy and takes the body when presented. He is not soft. They got this one wrong.
Uhhh...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWfgVTcL_Us

You do realize both big hits, the one at 1:08, and the one at 1:13 are Malhotra right?

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Old
04-10-2007, 11:12 AM
  #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goaliemon89 View Post
Has anyone actually found online a place that sells a cannon that would be suitable for inside the nat?
With the way this org has a habit or dropping the ball, they'll probably get in the cannon bandwagon, and then pull a Spinal Tap on the execution:

http://www.aurorahistoryboutique.com...icaCannons.cfm



ETA:

This guy seems to have some skillz:
http://www.specialtymile.com/southbendreplicas/

Hey! He's even got a full catalog and overview of safety information, etc. for $10. We should buy it as a community and then present it to GMDM just to keep it in his face.

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