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Old
12-23-2003, 09:39 AM
  #1
stanley
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God!

...or whatever one calls the Supreme Being (if one believes in such things)...

I think this is the only thing/person/farm animal/entity we haven't discussed playing net for the Flyers, so I thought we could open up the conversation here rather than have me fight "city hall." (Notice I put an exclamation point at the end of the thread title, indicating I'm really excited about this opportunity despite the rational facts dictating it can't happen.)

If God becomes available, I think they should go after him. He can solve all the team's netminding "problems." Clarke might have to give up quite a bit to get him, but he is big and takes up a lot of net (he's not a flopper). I think he has a career record of something like INFINITY-0-0, a GAA of 0, and a save percentage of .000. I can't guarantee he'd put up the same numbers, but he HAS to be better than the sieves that are Esche and Hackett. Plus, the entire team would probably earn a lot of points toward that 'eternal happiness' thing, which has long-term attractiveness. You can keep your pension, NHLPA - I got mine!

I wonder if they can get him to play on Sundays...

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Old
12-23-2003, 09:45 AM
  #2
Dr Love
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God! would be great between the pipes for the Flyers. Parent was second to him in saves in the 70s, and God! hasn't lost anything in his game.

Any trade for God! would have to include Clarke's soul (assuming he has it, if not Hitchcock's might have to do). Heaven might also ask for his first born. A lot to give up, but it would be worth it. (BTW his save percentage is 1.000 not .000.) The guy is clutch, but would he be our saviour?

My only concern is if we go up against Jesus and Gretzky. Lethal duo.

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Old
12-23-2003, 10:16 AM
  #3
IceHot
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RE: Holy Goalie

We tried out Jesus once, everytime he went for a glove save the puck sliped by the hole in his hand.



ON a serious note:
Story has it that the true Jewish Moshiach is a Flyers fan and used to be a great goalie in his hay day, used to play goal for Jewish Camps up north and elsewhere and rarely let up a goal.
To old to play goal now but surely could teach the team how to SAVE.
-Dan 12:1-4

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Old
12-23-2003, 11:02 AM
  #4
Dr Love
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IceHot
We tried out Jesus once, everytime he went for a glove save the puck sliped by the hole in his hand.
Dude, Jesus saves.


PASSES TO GRETZKY, GRETZKY SCORES!

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:14 PM
  #5
IceHot
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RE:saves

[QUOTE=Dr Love]Dude, Jesus saves.

And it's about thousands of wars and over 50 Million murders in his name later and you still think that qualifies a save...
Please don't ever be a goalie coach, or historian for that matter.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:22 PM
  #6
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Out of luck, he's got a no trade clause.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:25 PM
  #7
Dr Love
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IceHot
And it's about thousands of wars and over 50 Million murders in his name later and you still think that qualifies a save...
Please don't ever be a goalie coach, or historian for that matter.
Your sarcasm is as dry as my scotch.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:33 PM
  #8
Winston Wolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley
and a save percentage of .000.
With that save percentage we'd almost be better off with Hackett.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:35 PM
  #9
Dr Love
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God! would have a kickin' playoff beard too.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:39 PM
  #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Love
God! would have a kickin' playoff beard too.
Unbelievable beard. It was stomach-length at the Babylon Cup.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:40 PM
  #11
Winston Wolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Love
Your sarcasm is as dry as my scotch.
Don't talk to Ariel Sharon that way....

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:42 PM
  #12
Dr Love
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyersPhantoms33
Unbelievable beard. It was stomach-length at the Babylon Cup.
That it was.

I was thinking, if we meet the Devils in the playoffs, can God! win? It's been just as epic of a battle for him as it has for us.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:49 PM
  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Love
That it was.

I was thinking, if we meet the Devils in the playoffs, can God! win? It's been just as epic of a battle for him as it has for us.
Good question, but with the way God! has played over the last couple of seasons I don't think there is any stopping his quest for the Cup.

Personally, I've been thinking about goalie interference. Surely if a player runs into God! they'd get 2:00 minutes AND eternal damnation, right?

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:52 PM
  #14
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You Philadelphia fans are never happy. God already played for you, and the Flyers won the cup twice.

Trade for Luongo and be satisfied already.

Sheesh.

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:54 PM
  #15
Dr Love
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lowetide
You Philadelphia fans are never happy. God already played for you, and the Flyers won the cup twice.
See my above post, we had the second best goalie next to God!

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Old
12-23-2003, 05:59 PM
  #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lowetide
You Philadelphia fans are never happy. .
As a whole, I think you could say the fans of Philadelphia sports are suffering from depression.

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Old
12-23-2003, 06:02 PM
  #17
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If God does the burning bush thing in goal will the ice melt?

I can see the headlines now: God is hot!

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Old
12-23-2003, 06:07 PM
  #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyersPhantoms33
As a whole, I think you could say the fans of Philadelphia sports are suffering from depression.

Why? The Eagles look terrific, this past weekend aside. I know they lost home field, but it didn't exactly work for them last year. I remember when the Eagles had Roman Gabriel, Harold Carmichael and not much else. This team could win it all.

Ditto Flyers.

Phillies are loading up this winter too.

What else is there? College basketball? I don't know what colleges are near Philly, but in terms of pro sports the only team that is subpar is the 76ers and that's because Mr MVPEEEEEE has turned into Richie Allen.

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Old
12-23-2003, 06:10 PM
  #19
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Perhaps Clarke made a deal with the devil back in the day to win a couple cups, and now every year that passes he gets all Flyers fans souls... Or perhaps our goalies are tripping on all the former Flyers goalies broken dreams... who knows.

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Old
12-23-2003, 06:27 PM
  #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lowetide
Why? The Eagles look terrific, this past weekend aside. I know they lost home field, but it didn't exactly work for them last year. I remember when the Eagles had Roman Gabriel, Harold Carmichael and not much else. This team could win it all.

Ditto Flyers.

Phillies are loading up this winter too.

What else is there? College basketball? I don't know what colleges are near Philly, but in terms of pro sports the only team that is subpar is the 76ers and that's because Mr MVPEEEEEE has turned into Richie Allen.
This is about in the moment cathartic expression.

Sure the Eagles look good. Good enough to poop on. There are glaring deficiencies that show up a few times a season, and then in the playoffs. It's hard to root for a team that looks like a contender most of the year and then the big games come up and you wonder where the smoke and mirrors went. It's a human beings inalienable right to kvetch and we mean to use it.

Ditto Flyers, although they could easily turn this back around.

The expectations for the 76ers are lower and they do tend to overachieve so it's easier to take.

But thanks for caring.

 
Old
12-23-2003, 07:38 PM
  #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IceHot
We tried out Jesus once, everytime he went for a glove save the puck sliped by the hole in his hand.
Ah, the infamous six hole. Even though it exists, he has never been beaten in that manner.

Knowing Clarke, he would just trade him away. Maybe he would try to get a sniper some people think they need. I can see the headlines now.

Flyers trade God to Buffalo for Satan.

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Old
12-24-2003, 06:30 AM
  #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adurn
Ah, the infamous six hole. Even though it exists, he has never been beaten in that manner.

Knowing Clarke, he would just trade him away. Maybe he would try to get a sniper some people think they need. I can see the headlines now.

Flyers trade God to Buffalo for Satan.
Why can't we get some role players on the team? Everyone seems to be focusing on the stars, God & Satan... what about Moses or Gabriel... I could just imagine Moses flying up center ice and parting the defense like the...

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12-24-2003, 06:48 AM
  #23
Overtime
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I hear John the Baptist will be brought in as a referee. All sins washed away with a few minutes in the penalty box.

The biggest problem with Jesus on the Flyers is that Philly fans don't like the turn the other cheek attitude he has.

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Old
12-24-2003, 06:54 AM
  #24
Dr Love
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Quote:
Originally Posted by capn89
Why can't we get some role players on the team? Everyone seems to be focusing on the stars, God & Satan... what about Moses or Gabriel... I could just imagine Moses flying up center ice and parting the defense like the...
Good point. We don't need Lazerus though, we've already got Gagne.

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Old
12-24-2003, 06:55 AM
  #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Overtime
I hear John the Baptist will be brought in as a referee. All sins washed away with a few minutes in the penalty box.

The biggest problem with Jesus on the Flyers is that Philly fans don't like the turn the other cheek attitude he has.
You're so right... I heard the sonuva***** coughed the puck up in the neutral zone which lead to a break away and the game winning goal, and the chump had the audacity to say "no big deal, my dad will forgive me" in a post game interview... fans wanted to crucify him!

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