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Worst player to ever play on your team?

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Old
06-14-2007, 04:46 AM
  #1
Raoul Duke*
 
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Worst player to ever play on your team?

We don't need names, of course. Initials will work fine in the end, made up or not.

My first year in Bantam, we had a dominant team. In fact, I think out 1995 Bantam team would defeat any team in Canada for our age... if it wasn't for this one guy:
RG.

Our offense was untouchable, we'd even get bored with scoring against weaker teams in out league - and just play games from the bench after we racked up enough goals to win. Like "who can get the most elbowing penalty minutes", "who can pick up the puck from our own end... kill time, skate with it past the red line again and go in to score" - things like that.

But come playoff time, our goalie RG was by far the worst sack of ... to ever play hockey. We were perfect at our scoring game, offense was never a problem. But this idiot in net when we had real competition...

As a goalie, he'd just go butterfly at the first sign of a shot. Then he didn't get up like a normal goalie. He had to put his hands on the ice, and push himself back up. Which sucks to begin with, but he had a habit of always doing that when he had his back turned to the play. Sometimes he'd use the crossbar to pull himself up.

Of course that means, he dropped his stick. And didn't stop any lateral movement shot EVER. Our team spent the first 3 rounds of the playoffs dropping to block shots Jason Smith style. We could score at will, but we'd get scored on with ease.

Provincial Finals - faceoff to Calgary, and our moron goalie was sipping on his water, back turned to the action... FROM THE DROP of the puck. They won the draw, and a winger for their team saw it - stepped over the red line and wristed it home.

We lost the final game 8-6. Even though they only managed 14 shots on net.

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06-14-2007, 04:47 AM
  #2
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The 2nd year, he was long gone - a kid from Peewee stepped up to play for us and we were provincial champions with ease.

PS.. about that RG goalie - he also used to chew tobacco while in net. We were 14/15 years old! And one time he let in an easy goal, and I scooped it out of the net. The refs didn't notice, the other team was all "It was in!" - and my moron goalie was just smiling like "Whoops!"
It should have counted, but we had a habit of having to have our sticks behind that jackass in front of the net, because it was going in.

Just a matter or clearing it out before the refs see it cross the line. If we had instant replay in bantam... it'd be a massacre.

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06-14-2007, 05:01 AM
  #3
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A few others:

NM: a defenseman - he was a huge guy but always bailed out of physical play. He never held the line, so we were always having to go outside the blueline while he drilled it back in. Biggest 6'6'' ***** you'll ever see in your life. And for some reason he figured that a slapshot is harder than a wrist shot. So a "slap pass" must be crisper than a normal pass... This jackass would actually slapshot a pass to you.

AM: one of my right wingers, when I played center. This kid was all speed, no hands, no hockey sense. He just put on the burners from the drop of the puck, and didn't know where he was going. Put our line offside probably 230 times in one season. And even if he did catch your pass in the neutral zone - he'd burn the defense, clear cut to the net... but I guess he doesn't compute things quickly. He'd shoot usually from behind the goal line. I think - the moment he sees the net in his peripheral vision.

The skills are there, to play hockey. But the mentality of people like that astounds me to this day.

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06-14-2007, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
A few others:

NM: a defenseman - he was a huge guy but always bailed out of physical play. He never held the line, so we were always having to go outside the blueline while he drilled it back in. Biggest 6'6'' ***** you'll ever see in your life. And for some reason he figured that a slapshot is harder than a wrist shot. So a "slap pass" must be crisper than a normal pass... This jackass would actually slapshot a pass to you.

AM: one of my right wingers, when I played center. This kid was all speed, no hands, no hockey sense. He just put on the burners from the drop of the puck, and didn't know where he was going. Put our line offside probably 230 times in one season. And even if he did catch your pass in the neutral zone - he'd burn the defense, clear cut to the net... but I guess he doesn't compute things quickly. He'd shoot usually from behind the goal line. I think - the moment he sees the net in his peripheral vision.

The skills are there, to play hockey. But the mentality of people like that astounds me to this day.

You had me bustin out laughing on that one.

We had one kid on our team C.W. he thought he was the next Scott Stevens and he allways went for the big hit. So it's a 2 on 2 and his Dumbass comes from the left-side over to the right side and try's to lay the guy with the puck out, he misses like always and the other team as a 2 on 1. And if he did accually hit the guy he would get his elbow up and get called with a penalty.

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06-14-2007, 09:42 AM
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In bantams I had my coach's kid on my team and he didn't want to be there. He liked music and art but his dad made him play. He wouldn't get more than a foot from the boards. We were crappy little kids and used to pass the puck to him just so we could watch the checking clinic that the other team would put on against him. Kinda felt bad a few years later. But a little funny at the time.

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06-14-2007, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelhead16 View Post
In bantams I had my coach's kid on my team and he didn't want to be there. He liked music and art but his dad made him play. He wouldn't get more than a foot from the boards. We were crappy little kids and used to pass the puck to him just so we could watch the checking clinic that the other team would put on against him. Kinda felt bad a few years later. But a little funny at the time.
Yeah when I was in bantams there was a player on my team who didn't deserve to be there. C.M. was there because his dad was powerful in the local hockey community. Last year he played juniors for the team his dads 'company' bought and moved to town. Kind of funny because he's the only one from that team playing juniors, but he was the worst on the team. Slow, stone hands and a huge head.

One time, CM is standing next to the net and I took a shot that went off his leg and in. Of course he proceeded to celebrate (alone) like he had just scored on a penalty shot in OT of game 7 in the finals while everyone else was like

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06-14-2007, 03:28 PM
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JT, kid I played roller with in high school. Couldn't skate couldn't pass wouldn't backcheck. He was like Happy Gilmore but he couldn't fight and his 90MPH slapshot hit the net 3 or 4 times a season.

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06-14-2007, 04:11 PM
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We had a kid on our HS Varsity team that we coined, "Cereal", because he looked like a serial killer (Pale white skin, orange beard, etc). This kid recorded one point in 2 seasons of varsity/jv, and it was because we were playing the worst organized hockey team in the history of the world, and i managed to feed one to him in front (he took a shot, but instead of going straight it went at a 45 degree angle and looked like a pass to another teammate standing by the net..he other kid tapped it in).

Anyway, the worst part about him was that for how gawd awful he was, I really don't think he thought he was that bad. In our opening game senior year, we were playing a preseason top-5 team, and were up 3-2 late and his mom stormed out when it was clear he wasn't going to see the ice that night.

Overall he had to be the worst player I'd ever seen who played for more than 5 years. In fact, I remembered playing against him in squits (U10). So truthfully, he could have been playing for 10 years. He couldn't skate backward, could sorta skate forward but not very efficiently, never even attempted to bend his knees when he skated (just his neck which he pushed forward like an old man sometimes does when walking), had the worst shot ever, and had an extremely limited knowledge of the game.

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06-14-2007, 07:59 PM
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The Tikkanen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelhead16 View Post
In bantams I had my coach's kid on my team and he didn't want to be there. He liked music and art but his dad made him play. He wouldn't get more than a foot from the boards. We were crappy little kids and used to pass the puck to him just so we could watch the checking clinic that the other team would put on against him. Kinda felt bad a few years later. But a little funny at the time.
They have a name for kids who get laughed at when they're young-serial killers.

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06-15-2007, 10:03 AM
  #10
stick9
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What's that saying....you're only as strong as your weakest player.

Anyway, I don't care about skill level. What burns me is lack of effort. I've seen many a good player just glide around without a care in the world. While lesser players are working their butts off.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelhead16 View Post
In bantams I had my coach's kid on my team and he didn't want to be there. He liked music and art but his dad made him play. He wouldn't get more than a foot from the boards. We were crappy little kids and used to pass the puck to him just so we could watch the checking clinic that the other team would put on against him. Kinda felt bad a few years later. But a little funny at the time.
Sad part is, that kid will probably grow to be your boss one day. I work with guys who if I meet back in HS I would have made fun of. Now I hang out with them and take orders from them. Life's funny like that.

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06-15-2007, 05:25 PM
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I really don't care for skill level. It justs pisses me off when a player on your team is extremely lazy and just won't backcheck or just glides by without any effort.

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06-15-2007, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by HockeyisGodsSport View Post
I really don't care for skill level. It justs pisses me off when a player on your team is extremely lazy and just won't backcheck or just glides by without any effort.
I'm fairly new to ice hockey but am definitely not the worst player on my team. Lack of skill only annoys me when its consistant from making stupid mistakes and not learning from them. Lack of effort annoys me the most though.

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06-16-2007, 02:45 AM
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Lack of effort was always my pet peeve too. I could have easily mentioned another guy growing up, because for some reason - just lack of natural athletic ability or something.... he never improved from age 8 to 16.

But God bless the guy, he gave it 110 percent every shift. He'd get smoked, like Scott Stevens on Paul Kariya every game. But would get up, and give it his all shift in and out.

He was like our team's "Rudy". I love that kid. Sadly, in his love for the game, he was always on the outdoor rink... and in our last year, he took a stick to the eye one weekend - and had to miss the entire season. The guy looks like he's cross eyed now, but it's just a hockey injury.

He coaches now though, for a pretty successful team. It's just sad that a guy like him never had it, talent wise when he loved the game for his entire being.

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06-16-2007, 05:31 AM
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Funny thing about this post, last season I joined a new league since I moved over to LA, and this goalie sucked something special. There was one game where it was 4-5 we were up with 2 minutes left. There was a face-off in our zone and the opposing team won the draw back to the defense. The goalie never saw the puck drop and had his arms draped over the crossbar with his legs kicked out. The D-man shot it low on the ice and the puck went in.

They won it in OT...

I have many stories, but that is the most recent one.

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06-16-2007, 11:59 AM
  #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
Lack of effort was always my pet peeve too. I could have easily mentioned another guy growing up, because for some reason - just lack of natural athletic ability or something.... he never improved from age 8 to 16.

But God bless the guy, he gave it 110 percent every shift. He'd get smoked, like Scott Stevens on Paul Kariya every game. But would get up, and give it his all shift in and out.

He was like our team's "Rudy". I love that kid. Sadly, in his love for the game, he was always on the outdoor rink... and in our last year, he took a stick to the eye one weekend - and had to miss the entire season. The guy looks like he's cross eyed now, but it's just a hockey injury.

He coaches now though, for a pretty successful team. It's just sad that a guy like him never had it, talent wise when he loved the game for his entire being.
See I'd have no problem playing with him so long as he skated hard every shift. It's amazing how there are players that you can tell aren't too good but your opinion of them is higher than it should because they skate, and not just that, they BACKCHECK.

BTW, I see your avatar, no love for one of my favorite players of all time? My housemate is a Rangers fan and hates him because of '97, LOL.

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06-16-2007, 12:26 PM
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When the coach tried me out at center. Just ugly.

Keep in mind, my best position by far was goalie, but towards the end of my competitive hockey days, I moved to defense where I was a mediocre skating, physical, stay at home d-man type with very little offensive talent other than a very good slap shot. I had very little creativity, so to this day, I don't know what the coach was thinking.

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06-16-2007, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
Biggest 6'6'' ***** you'll ever see in your life.
You've obviously never seen Mike Wilson play hockey then

As for my team, we've got a few people (myself included) who had only learned to skate last September (as in holding onto the boards in September...), so I'd have to say I'm amongst the worst!!

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06-16-2007, 02:48 PM
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There was one guy I played with that consistently thought he was the best player on the team...except he really, really wasn't. Took long shifts, never came back to play D, tried to deke everyone out, and would take pot shots instead of setting up the play.

Not to mention, I was a forward and had to drop back to play D just to cover him.

I don't mind lack of skill if you are at least trying out there, but when you are screwing over your team, even if you do have talent, you are the worst player.

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06-16-2007, 04:43 PM
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There was one guy I played with that consistently thought he was the best player on the team...except he really, really wasn't. Took long shifts, never came back to play D, tried to deke everyone out, and would take pot shots instead of setting up the play.

Not to mention, I was a forward and had to drop back to play D just to cover him.

I don't mind lack of skill if you are at least trying out there, but when you are screwing over your team, even if you do have talent, you are the worst player.
I've played with players like this, deke around and then leave themselves no angle to shoot, then either don't shoot or take a crappy shot.

One guy on my team, a poster here, does this sometimes, but since he's my friend he listens to me when I tell him to shoot more. Even before I made a big deal about it he was getting 1-2 goals per game, a few hattricks, but he could easily have more if he kept cutting down his angle so much. He's getting better.

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06-16-2007, 05:13 PM
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We had a goalie once who was decent enough, but he had no depth perception from a distance. He got scored on from red line dump ins 4 or 5 times a year. He was fine from the blue line in, but further away than that was scary.

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06-16-2007, 05:39 PM
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We had one forward line that was a combined -82 in 16 games. They were the only minus forwards on the team. The impressive part is that they managed this in 7-8 minutes per game.

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06-16-2007, 07:51 PM
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Worst player ever on my team?

That would be me. Back when I played in the garage league, I was horrible.

Picture this. Right handed half-asian half-canadian defenseman. Wears number four. Long bleached hair, black goatee (see avatar). I was a good skater, but damn I sucked with the puck. Whenever someone passed the puck to me, it would go right through. I was unable to position my stick on the ice in a way that the puck would actually hit it. It would always go between my skates, etc.

In the last game I ever played, I was on the point on the powerplay. The puck was in the right corner (goalie's left) and I was at the center of the blue line. Some guy on my team tries to pass the puck to me, and I try to make a one timer on the net. With a backhand. Yeah, a backhanded one-timer from the blue line. The reason is that I was facing toward the left and I didn't have time to turn to catch the pass on my forehand.

Result: I tripped and fell on my knees, the puck went right by me, and some dude on the other team got a breakaway and scored. Geez....

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06-16-2007, 10:06 PM
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We had one forward line that was a combined -82 in 16 games.


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06-17-2007, 12:03 PM
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Result: I tripped and fell on my knees, the puck went right by me, and some dude on the other team got a breakaway and scored. Geez....
I wish I could've been there for that. It musta been funny.

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06-18-2007, 12:13 AM
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Me.

I started playing roller hockey in 2001, I was 12 or 13. But, I'd never played before. Anyway, I never really improved throughout the season. I knew what to do, where to be, where to go. Only, I could never actually put it into practice.

Face-offs, for example. Coach says, "Devin, get out there, defense." So I excitedly scamper out. I can't stop, so I coast there after a second. Then bam, I fall face first right onto the center of the rink. I can't get up. I try, I fall back down. It's all finally resolved, and the puck is dropped. I fall down, but it works out. By the time I get back up, the puck is coming back into our end. I go and cut off the kid with the puck, but as always, I couldn't stop, so I steamrolled the poor kid - but I stopped, and I had the puck. Later on in the season, I had a magic rush along the boards. I got the puck, put on some kind of crazy move, and didn't fall. I broke past everybody, and carried in all alone - wound up to shoot.. and kept winding. My feet came out from beneath me, and after what felt like thirty seconds suspended in a mixture of air and shame, I fell flat on my ass.

The story has a happy ending, though. I actually played as a forward the second time around, and scored a few goals. I still couldn't stop, and I crushed a few smaller, weaker kids, but it was great. Anyway, I'll proudly say that my first year was terrible, albeit a tremendous learning experience.. fun memories. Hopefully I'll get over my paranoia and get back into a league.

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