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Poutine : Chezz Style, a step by step guide to Enlightenment

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:41 PM
  #1
GoneAway
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Poutine : Chezz Style, a step by step guide to Enlightenment

Make poutine is an art, nay...tis an...well yeah, I guess it is an art. For most French Canadians, its engrained into the inner, deepest parts of our Subconscience (Jung referred to it as the Curd Archetype).

For others, however, the creation of this ambrosia remains a mystery...

Well today, I lift the shroud of obscurity and reveal to you all:

THE MAKING OF THE POUTINE: CHEZZ STYLE

Part 1: Preparation


Before we even set foot into the kitchen, there are a couple steps that we should take for precautionary reasons:

-Make sure there is plenty toilet paper...remember, this stuff is powerful:



Hmmm that could be a problem...



There!...much better!

-Be sure that you are capable of calling 911 at any time (either for grease burns, cardiac failure, etc). Remember, if you live through the night, that Poutine was All Right!



Fully charged!


INGREDIENTS:

Potatoes-Try buying organic, locally grown produce; Support your local farmers!
Gravy-Preferable canned gravy...or better yet "sauce"
Cheese-If you have curds, excellent;otherwise, a mozarella or cheddar will do
Vegetable Oil-I used Canola...but if you really want the Holy Heart Attack, just melt Lard
Salt

Step 1:

Peel your Potatoes:



Normally, 2 tatters would suffice per person, but these ones were on the smallish side and I'm freakin hungry!

Step 2:

Cut Potatoes into fries (Half an inch thick will do)



Watch out for those fingers!



Remember, clean as you go!



Step 3:

Pour oil into deep pan, fryer or wok (here, Im using a wok) and set on high heat:



Grease: OK to touch now; not so much later

Step 4:

Open can of gravy and pour into small saucepan:



I normally go for St Hubert Poutine Sauce, but I was only able to go to the coner store, so Heinz chicken gravy will do....*shivers*

Hint! :Thumbs Up:

Arrange your stove area in a way that'll give you plenty space to manoeuver:




Cooking and consuption coming right up!...


Last edited by GoneAway: 03-11-2008 at 07:02 PM.
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Old
03-11-2008, 06:44 PM
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Galchenyuk x 27
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lol....your to much Chezz.

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:44 PM
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You are the Maddox of HFBoards

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:47 PM
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Seb
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sounds and looks yummy.

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:47 PM
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snakeye
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Cooking fries in a wok? Interesting...

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:48 PM
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Chomsky
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Toilet paper made me LOL.

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:50 PM
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Bronn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James15Sheppard View Post
You are the Maddox of HFBoards
Pfff......Maddox has nothing on Lord Chezz.

Btw Chezz , i have the exact same Uniden phone sitting right beside me right now and it's a piece of trash lol.

And finally , is this called a Porntine ??

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:50 PM
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Part 2:

COOKING

Step 1:

Gently place fries into the grease and cook approximately for 5 to 10 minutes or as desired:

BE CAREFUL FOR SPLASHBACK



*drools

Hint!

Prepare an oven pan layered with thick paper towel in case you have more than one load to cook. Place pan in oven at 200F so the paper towel doesnt burn



Step 3:

Place gravy on stovetop at medium heat, while stirring frequently. When it starts to boil, reduce heat:



A consistant gravy, is a happy gravy

Step 4:

Once cooked, place fries in pan:



If you can see through the paper towel, you're in flavor country

Step 5:

Salt fries to desired saltiness:



**** you, high blood pressure!!


Step 6:

Place remaining fries in fryer and place cooked batch in oven to ensure they remain hot:



PS...Its ok to sneak one



Step 7:

Once all the fries are cooked, gently dab fries with paper towel to remove excess salt and grease:



This step is soooooooo optional


Up Next...serving!

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:51 PM
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Watsatheo
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If you chop off a finger in the fries making process, do you have to start all over because the fries are all stained with blood?

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:51 PM
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Old beige appliances

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:52 PM
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Habs 4 Life
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You kill me Chezz

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:52 PM
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Little Nilan
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LOL @ the salt.

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:54 PM
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Ozymandias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Chezz View Post



A consistant gravy, is a happy gravy

OH MY GOD!

That gravy reminds me of the remnants of my last drinking binge.

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Old
03-11-2008, 06:55 PM
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Cristobal Huet
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Old
03-11-2008, 06:58 PM
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Part 3:

SERVING THE POUTINE

Step 1:

Place fries on a deep plate (you don't want to lose any gravy!):



Step 2:

Place cheese on top of fries (if not in curds, cut the cheese into small cubes, like I did):



I said cut the cheese...lolz

Step 3:

Place gravy on chese and fries:

Make sure gravy is very hot. I like to turn the heat up a couple minutes before I pour it over the cheese. If the gravy isnt hot, the cheese won't melt




Now time to enjoy!

Wait!....Did you turn off the heat to the grease?



Good...grease fires are no laughing matter. be even more cautious are children and drunks...or and the elderly...and perhaps the mentally retarded as well, but I digress...

Well looks like its about time to serve. I suggest you find a place that inspires goodness in you to eat this culinary coronary. Some place like this:



Poutine truly is, the food of the gods


And enjoy!

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:01 PM
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Unfortunately, not all's well that ends well...

He was a great man...we hardly even knew him



Guess that phone was a tad too far




THE END



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Old
03-11-2008, 07:04 PM
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IcE ColD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozymandias View Post
OH MY GOD!

That gravy reminds me of the remnants of my last drinking binge.
That was SOOOOOO unecessary!

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Chezz View Post
Unfortunately, not all's well that ends well...

He was a great man...we hardly even knew him



Guess that phone was a tad too far




THE END


So there is really no need to ask you what you're eating for supper tonite, huh?

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:06 PM
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the_crippler12
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lol!

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:06 PM
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The n00b King
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lol nice little setup.

good job on the lighting.

but not cheese curds? im dissapointed chezz...that's what happens when you live in alberta.

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:06 PM
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Hah, well done Chezz.

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:07 PM
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Ozymandias
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IcE ColD View Post
That was SOOOOOO unecessary!
Dude, it's kinda pale lookin for a poutine gravy.... too pale it brings back horrifying flashbacks.

Chezz, you lazy a$$, you should've gone a bit further than the corner store.

But I do agree that a fix is a fix.

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:08 PM
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you have to slice hot dogs fry in a pan, chop some onions and your gravy, love your step by step

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:08 PM
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IcE ColD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozymandias View Post
Dude, it's kinda pale lookin for a poutine gravy.... too pale it brings back horrifying flashbacks.

Chezz, you lazy a$$, you should've gone a bit further than the corner store.

But I do agree that a fix is a fix.
I completly agree on the colour... We're lucky over here, even the corner store has "real" Poutine Sauce

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Old
03-11-2008, 07:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dominant Hegemony View Post
lol nice little setup.

good job on the lighting.

but not cheese curds? im dissapointed chezz...that's what happens when you live in alberta.
Well I am back in NB...but I had no car tonight...so mozza from the corner store FTW

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozymandias View Post
Dude, it's kinda pale lookin for a poutine gravy.... too pale it brings back horrifying flashbacks.

Chezz, you lazy a$$, you should've gone a bit further than the corner store.

But I do agree that a fix is a fix.

No car, but hardly lazy. 20 minute walk to the store as opposed to an hours walk to the grocery store

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