My name is Josh I am currently a sports-journalism major at Penn State. I love the Rangers with a passion, but for the most part I just love the game of hockey and everything about it. Anyway, to get some practice in my field (where I would like to do broadcasting for the NHL one day), I JUST started my own NYR blog. I'm just wondering that if any of you get a chance and have some free time, if you would check it out and give me some thoughts and feedback on what I write or even how I write it. You could leave comments on the page itself, or you could leave comments in this thread. Thanks very much and LETS GO RANGERS!!!!
A few critiques:
1. As previous poster pointed out, the second paragraph is just one long sentence.
2. When you first talk about a player, you should include their full name. Also, you should stick to what they're called. ie. Scott Gomez not Scotty, although admittedly, that's nitpicking on my part.
3. As a journalist, you cannot put words into people's mouths or someone will take it as a direct quote and that can lead to all sorts of trouble.
4. You cannot call players on opposing team b*tches, no matter how much you think they deserve it. Again, this is if you want to be taken as a serious outlet for information.
5. Just to disagree, I think our shootout lineup should be Naslund-Zherdev-Sjostrom... not sure if that was just a mistake or you actually want Gomez in over Zherdev.
6. Overall, it's a good layout and there is potential there. Keep at it and good luck, it's a tough field to get into.
Your way of writing is unique and that could be taken as a good thing or a bad thing. The only negative I see in your writing is the language use. You may want to keep all that out of your blogging. That's the only huge flaw. What you got going so far is good though! Keep up the good work and let's go rangers!