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Concerned hockey mom needs advice...

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Old
08-21-2008, 11:07 PM
  #26
Heat McManus
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As a former coach, I feel this is something worth brining up to the coach. You're not asking for preferential treatment, not more ice-time, nothing that he should bend over backwards to accommodate you and only you. It's about your son's well being and enjoyment of the game. That is a concern I feel every parent has a right to talk to their coach about.


As a coach/teacher/youth leader/boss there have been times when a situation was going on in my group that had not presented itself to me. Once made aware of it I acted on it. I felt horrible for missing it right under my nose but it happens. I'm only human and tried to learn from it the best I could.

Sometimes coaches miss things. He may be able to deal with this by talking to both of them and straightening it out, or by addressing the team and talking about what it means to be a good teammate without letting either of them know they were the catalyst for the talk. They're still young and it's a time for good and bad habits to form and be broken alike. Hopefully the coach will do the right thing.

Best of luck.

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08-22-2008, 04:25 PM
  #27
JLHockeyKnight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zach - #1 Canes Fan View Post
It's nothing more than intimidation. Once he starts making good plays in a row, his confidence will build and he'll go back to his old ways.

If needed, have the coach talk to him privately, but tell the coach to tell your son explicitly the good things he's doing out there. Being taken aside to be told you're playing good will really boost his confidence
This is a great idea. Even at 21 (I'm 22 now) I've been playing hockey for 4 years, and I went into a slump. I was pushed back to the 4th line, and never given any direction by the coaching plus I was constantly being benched and never told what I was doing right or wrong, even when I would ask. It gets frustrating, I nearly quick the team twice (college roller hockey). I stuck with it and pulled myself out of a slump, but I had the same problem, I second guessed myself everytime I touched the puck. I eventually worked my way out, but by that point the entire season was done and it was the playoffs. Not a fun thing to go to at all when you look down upon yourself all season.

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Old
08-22-2008, 04:44 PM
  #28
Gunnar Stahl 30
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Originally Posted by deangamblin View Post
Normally a coach wouldn't allow players to go single out a teammate. My past coaches would bench the kid who would go single out a teammate.
thats not necassarily a bad thing to do though. depending on the team, the coach, the player who is calling the other player out. if hes a captain or an older player, there is nothing wrong with that as long as he does it the appropriate way. now, i dont think it is right to do it with 10 year olds though

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08-22-2008, 05:20 PM
  #29
deanosaur
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Originally Posted by Gunnar Stahl 30 View Post
thats not necassarily a bad thing to do though. depending on the team, the coach, the player who is calling the other player out. if hes a captain or an older player, there is nothing wrong with that as long as he does it the appropriate way. now, i dont think it is right to do it with 10 year olds though
I've never seen, or been on a team where a player called out another player.
The captain will step up and say things as a team such as "be more physical," "don't panic with the puck slow things down," "keep your head up." But never do have I seen a kid directly call out another kid and blame everything on him, in fact not even at any level. A captain (a good one in fact) may say "keep your head up, look for the open man if not high and hard off the glass." But it's never actually singling him out and blaming it on him. Sure after the game you can talk with your buddies in the car about it, but that's different.

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08-22-2008, 06:41 PM
  #30
Crosbyfan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunnar Stahl 30 View Post
thats not necassarily a bad thing to do though. depending on the team, the coach, the player who is calling the other player out. if hes a captain or an older player, there is nothing wrong with that as long as he does it the appropriate way. now, i dont think it is right to do it with 10 year olds though
If it is a case of a kid being consistently selfish, some peer pressure can be helpful in some cases.

I think in this case it is more comparable to dumping on your goalie for not making a save. If he's lacking confidence in the defensive zone that's hardly a sign of a selfish player.

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Old
08-22-2008, 08:45 PM
  #31
Pittsburgh Proud
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Originally Posted by stormsurge View Post
One thing that really bothers me about this team is that the parents are so competitive. It's win or nothing with most of them. There is a tremendous amount of pressure placed on the kids--not by the coach, but by some of the parents who think their child is going to be the next Wayne Gretzky. They often talk negatively and openly about the other kids' weaknesses. (Of course, their own children haven't any weaknesses. )
Do you have older children. My brother is 11 and he and every other team known to man has those parents. Me (17) and my brother (20) will go to a couple of games and get really annoyed by both sides. We understand the parents don't want to bad talk their own parents so we do it for everyone else. It calms parents down and lets them know what jackass' they are. It's a game.

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