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Rangers season player evaluation

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Old
12-23-2008, 09:18 PM
  #1
Chimp
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This is not so fun to read... We're at X-mas and this is how the players have performed so far.

Wade Redden. The league's most overpaid, overrated player, all categories. You're a disgrace. You should retire before you lose all dignity and save tens of thousands from their agony.

Michal Rozsival. You're supposed to be a defenseman. Check it up in a dictionary. It basically means you are supposed to prevent goals from happening. Perhaps you should try it sometimes.

Dimitri Kalinin. You were a good defenseman once, I guess. Now you are just on the team to make others who are horrible look a tad better. You should also check Rozsival's memo.

Nigel Dawes. What feet have you been kissing to remain on an NHL team? You have a decent wristshot, once in a while. About every 10th game or so you show it. Other than that, you have no qualities as a NHL player whatsoever. None. And you're absolutely horrible in the defensive zone, which ain't helping your clownish teammates at D one bit.

Chris frigging Drury. Captain Moneybag. If I had to pick a captain for my team, you would be one of the last. You have the charisma of wet, unbleached toilet paper. You're paid to be leading a team, while you can't even lead your own line. Not even the 3rd line. That's a tad embarrassing, isn't it? And you're supposed to be a center. The problem is, you can't even pass. All your offense is based on opportunism on a team that can't create opportunities. What a great combo. And oh, you've been a wreck defensively this season. I guess it's a comfort to have Wade frigging Redden on the team, so you're sure you're not the slowest guy in the group when a bear is chasing you, literally speaking.

Scott Gomez. It's time to start play hockey soon, huh? You have a great stride up the ice. There ends your qualities so far. You've been questionable defensively and can't dish a pass to anyone it seems. What a misfit you seem to turn out to be on this team. And oh, your shot is worse than my little sister's.

Ryan Callahan. Finally someone who hasn't been an utter disappointment. Not given much, but has done more than asked for and more. Give Nigel some lessons on effort, Ryan.

Nikolai Zherdev. Please re-sign on this pathetic team, even if your guts probably tells you not to. One of the few reasons to watch this team if you isn't a Rangers fan.

Brandon Dubinsky. Breakout year my ass. At least you will be cheap to re-sign.

Marc Staal. Finally a defenseman worth the name and then some. What a rock.

Daniel Girardi. You've had your fair share of bad giveaways and bad decisions. But your overall good play easily overshadows that. Nice to see a defenseman who actually plays defense.

Paul "the bear" Mara. The guy with heart and the beard. You won't stop and that's very appreciated. What a pleasant surprise you've been this season.

Henrik Lundqvist. I really feel sorry for you. You've mostly been playing great and this is how your team rewards you. By epicly sucking. Constantly. On all levels.

Perry Pearn. The proof no one can be unemployed in America. If this dolt can keep his job - as a PP coach - so should everyone.

Tom Renney. When will you realize you have lost this team? When will you show greater patience with forward lines than an autistic child with it's new toy? When will you be able to make 20 players play hockey for more than 10-20 minutes at a time and game? When will you realize your defensive system frigging sucks and is apparently bringing out the absolute worst of all of your players? "Potential" my ass.

Markus Näslund. An UFA who is worth his payment? Am I dreaming? Your 13 goals is probably not that impressive on any other team, but on this pathetic team, it's a miracle.

Colton Orr. A guy who actually improves his skills over the summer. You should start a school for Rangers players.

Blair Betts. Ask Chris if you and him can switch salaries. You deserve them more than him.

Fredrik Sjöström. Great energy player and about four times the charisma of our captain. Too bad you can't get a scoring touch going, but I guess that's hard when never getting the chance.

Steven Valiquette. One very much appreciated backup. Must be tough to play in net for this team though.

Petr Prucha. Ask Nigel what feet he has been kissing. It must be great to play some great games, only to be benched and be deemed "not good enough."

Lauri Korpikoski. I don't know really. It feels inconclusive. Either he has it, or he don't. He has skills, but can he make things happen?

Please get this guy as our coach. He doesn't have to know hockey. Just look at Pearn.


And Glen "the cigar" Sather. The best signings you make are sometimes the ones you don't make. Yeah yeah, you've heard that before. But I really mean it. Re-read that first sentence. Again. And again. And again. Don't buy all your christmas presents at the first store you find, you will probably get hosed. Sometimes, you can just as easily make them in your own wood shop. And what are you having as your advisor, a monkey? You should find yourself another monkey. Like me.


Last edited by Chimp: 12-24-2008 at 05:02 AM.
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Old
12-23-2008, 09:23 PM
  #2
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Everyone pretty much gets a C+ from me.

What a shock this comes out tonight. You don't come off bitter at all.

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12-23-2008, 09:30 PM
  #3
Chimp
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This isn't about tonight. This is about this season, so far. Anyone who think we've even had a stint of good games are fooling themselves. We won games earlier this season because of Lundqvist.

We have never got anything going here. We also won games because for the early start, at least the defense didn't look like complete *********, like it has done for the past months.

And of frigging course I'm bitter, what Rangers fan wouldn't be? And personally, because this team is a huge paper tiger that I for some reason sacrifice my sleep to watch.

In the words of Jim Mora: Playoffs?! I'm just happy if we win a game! (that isn't a shootout, which is like 5 times this season.)

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12-23-2008, 09:34 PM
  #4
z1co80
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I have saw Chimp's posts for a while now and i can say the guy is a good poster who knows his stuff. I would also say that his opinion on how these players are playing would have been the same before this game.

His view on Drury has been the same all season and although his post might be a reaction to tonights game, i think that he has just had enough of the teams failure to play 60mins of hockey without Lundqvist having to play like he is superhuman.

I share much of his views.

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12-23-2008, 09:34 PM
  #5
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Yeah, just odd timing eh?

Come off it, almost every evaluation, even the good ones, have bitter hate in them.

It was a bad loss, if you want to abandon ship, do it now, save yourself all this misery if you think they're incapable of getting better results when it matters.

Like I said in the GDT, 5 points in the last 4 games.

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12-23-2008, 09:38 PM
  #6
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this team sucks ass and posts like this should pop up.

What a joke performance tonight.

sleep walk through 40 minutes

Not acceptable on ANY LEVEL

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Old
12-23-2008, 09:43 PM
  #7
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I refuse to grade anyone other than Staal.

I give Marc Staal an A+++++++++++++++++

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Old
12-23-2008, 09:56 PM
  #8
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Dawes may have had a bad turn over, but the game was getting out of hand at that point, and he also put up two points in the game and was a +2 rating. With 4 hits.

He also has a whopping 4 less points then Callahan, golden boy, in exactly 10 less games played.

Dawes is fine. Dawes is not the problem.

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12-23-2008, 10:01 PM
  #9
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I'll post my grades later but I have to say I pretty much agree with Chimp's evaluation. Drury and Redden are the two biggest wastes of outragous contracts in the entire league.

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12-23-2008, 10:03 PM
  #10
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Drury also has been red hot lately.

He put up 3 assists tonight. 6 points in his last 4 games.

Do i think he is overpaid? Yes. But he is not that bad.

This team needs 3 things.

1-Legit scoring winger.
2-Hard hitting defenseman.
3-Sandpaper. One player like T.Ruutu, J.Ruutu, Avery, etc.

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12-23-2008, 10:09 PM
  #11
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For some reason, I found this post really funny. I agree with all of it...but hahahahaha there is some nice humor there

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12-23-2008, 10:11 PM
  #12
Chimp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SupersonicMonkey View Post
Dawes may have had a bad turn over, but the game was getting out of hand at that point, and he also put up two points in the game and was a +2 rating. With 4 hits.

He also has a whopping 4 less points then Callahan, golden boy, in exactly 10 less games played.

Dawes is fine. Dawes is not the problem.
Again, it's just not this game. It's this season. And the season before this one. There's a reason why he isn't playing on the penalty killing units.

Sadly, he hasn't improved his flaws that much. Dawes sometimes just looks completely lost in the zone, which probably is because he is completely lost, with the end result of covering nothing more than the ice he is touching with his blades. This has had fatal consequences alot more than once.

He sometimes just stops skating, looks around like he's Kyle XY (what a disappointing show btw) and wonders wth he's doing out there in front of all these people. You're out there to play defense, Nigel. You can start out by covering your man, yeah, that's the guy who just scored on us and made our entire defense look like it was peewee hockey on (inter)national television.

I know he's young, but this ain't frigging summer school. This is a team that is supposed to perform and perform well, hence the five and six digit paychecks.

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12-23-2008, 10:17 PM
  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimp View Post
Again, it's just not this game. It's this season. And the season before this one. Sadly, he hasn't improved his flaws that much. Dawes sometimes just looks completely lost in the zone, which probably is because he is completely lost, with the end result of covering nothing more than the ice he is touching with his blades. This has had fatal consequences alot more than once.

He sometimes just stops skating, looks around like he's Kyle XY (what a disappointing show btw) and wonders wth he's doing out there in front of all these people. You're out there to play defense, Nigel. You can start out by covering your man, yeah, that's the guy who just scored on us and made our entire defense look like it was peewee hockey.

I know he's young, but this ain't frigging summer school. This is a team that is supposed to perform and perform well, hence the five and six digit paychecks.
I'm sorry, but Dawes does not make our defense look like Pee Wee hockey. They do that for themselves.

The problem is not the coaching staff either.

Kalinin, Rozsival, Redden... these guys are not and have never been very physical. They do not punish the opposition.

That's not Renney's fault.

Without directly saying so, Renney has insinuated the fact that he wants a couple of defensemen who HIT and PUNISH opposing forwards for entering our zone.

Expecting Redden, Kalinin, or Rozsival to do so is hopeless.

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12-23-2008, 10:19 PM
  #14
Jarkko Immonen
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lol @ calling Redden a disgrace and saying he should retire. What's he supposed to do? Tell Sather he's not that good and turn down the money? Jesus...

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12-23-2008, 10:25 PM
  #15
Chimp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarkko Immonen View Post
lol @ calling Redden a disgrace and saying he should retire. What's he supposed to do? Tell Sather he's not that good and turn down the money? Jesus...
Is that a retorical question? Or can I answer it with a "Yes, please!"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SupersonicMonkey View Post
I'm sorry, but Dawes does not make our defense look like Pee Wee hockey. They do that for themselves...
Well, he ain't exactly helping either. He's the maintenance (yes, one of those who are supposed to give support) guy who accidentally fills up the firetrucks with gasoline for the crippled firefighters (those are supposed to be our symbolistic trio of scorned D-men).

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12-23-2008, 10:28 PM
  #16
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Originally Posted by SupersonicMonkey View Post
Drury also has been red hot lately.

He put up 3 assists tonight. 6 points in his last 4 games.

Do i think he is overpaid? Yes. But he is not that bad.

This team needs 3 things.

1-Legit scoring winger.
2-Hard hitting defenseman.
3-Sandpaper. One player like T.Ruutu, J.Ruutu, Avery, etc.
And i'll bet anyone here that we will have one if not two of those by the deadline. Look at Sather's history.

And that still might not get us past the 2nd round, but who knows, that's why they play the games.

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12-23-2008, 10:37 PM
  #17
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Originally Posted by OneMinuteShift View Post
And i'll bet anyone here that we will have one if not two of those by the deadline. Look at Sather's history.

And that still might not get us past the 2nd round, but who knows, that's why they play the games.
And i believe that anyone who was expecting this team —considering the amount of roster turn over that it went through— to go farther then that was getting ahead of themselves.

IMO, this season was always a transition year. If you told me over the summer that this team, despite it's issues, would be sitting second in the Conference come January, i would have taken it and said you were being overly optimistic.

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12-23-2008, 11:02 PM
  #18
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Redden is overrated? By who

I actually agree with Dawes and fail to see why he gets in the lineup night after night when players like Prucha and Fritsche are sitting out.

Staal, Girardi and Mara. Lock 'em up! Rozi has been looking better lately for me though.

I feel bad for Henrik though, and it seems like the teams overall attitude is moving on to him too.



That interview is amazing though. That coach needs to give Renney a few lessons.

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12-23-2008, 11:05 PM
  #19
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Originally Posted by SupersonicMonkey View Post
And i believe that anyone who was expecting this team —considering the amount of roster turn over that it went through— to go farther then that was getting ahead of themselves.

IMO, this season was always a transition year. If you told me over the summer that this team, despite it's issues, would be sitting second in the Conference come January, i would have taken it and said you were being overly optimistic.
You are a poster that gets it. If this team doesn't have the parts of a Cup winner and doesn't play consistently like a cup winner we are NOT A CUP TEAM. Don't expect it to play like one.

We're an inconsistent squad, no one should be shocked. Disappointed, yeah, that comes with being a Ranger fan though

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12-23-2008, 11:14 PM
  #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SupersonicMonkey View Post
And i believe that anyone who was expecting this team —considering the amount of roster turn over that it went through— to go farther then that was getting ahead of themselves.

IMO, this season was always a transition year. If you told me over the summer that this team, despite it's issues, would be sitting second in the Conference come January, i would have taken it and said you were being overly optimistic.
And what exactly are we transitioning to? A team that won't have any cap space to improve it's weaknesses and is stuck with Gomez, Redden and Drury for another half-decade, or three years in the case of Drury? Or is Artie Anisimov, who I'm very much looking forward to, going to change our fortunes next season?

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Old
12-23-2008, 11:43 PM
  #21
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On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my rangers sent to me
Twelve 4th liners sucking,
Eleven turnovers in the neutral zone,
Ten missed hip checks,
Nine times missing the net,
Eight passes before a shot on the powerplay,
Seven twirls by Zherdev,
Six swiss cheese defensemen,
giving up Five goal leads!!!!!!! (okay it was really four, but go with it..)
Four outlandish, outrageous contracts,
Three ***** foot defensemen,
Two overpaid 3rd line centers,
And Wade Redden hanging from a tree!

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Old
12-23-2008, 11:47 PM
  #22
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best post all year!

totally dead-on assessments!

There is so much expensive garbage on this team it's not even funny...and nothing in the farm. Nice job, Sather...you did it again! I hate you Sather, I hate you!!

Fire Renney Fire Sather Trade the whole team not named Hank Zherdev Mara Orr or Staal.

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Old
12-23-2008, 11:50 PM
  #23
z1co80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trueblue9441 View Post
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my rangers sent to me
Twelve 4th liners sucking,
Eleven turnovers in the neutral zone,
Ten missed hip checks,
Nine times missing the net,
Eight passes before a shot on the powerplay,
Seven twirls by Zherdev,
Six swiss cheese defensemen,
$5m for Rozi
Four outlandish, outrageous contracts,
Three ***** foot defensemen,
Two overpaid 3rd line centers,
And Wade Redden hanging from a tree!
Thats better

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Old
12-23-2008, 11:58 PM
  #24
trueblue9441
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haha good pointt

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Old
12-24-2008, 12:03 AM
  #25
NY Ranger86
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Quote:
This team needs 3 things.

1-Legit scoring winger.
2-Hard hitting defenseman.
3-Sandpaper. One player like T.Ruutu, J.Ruutu, Avery, etc.
Agreed. Know what tho? We had 1 and 3 last season. ALL WE WANTED WAS A DEFENSEMAN SATHER (2)! INSTEAD, we get rid of a VERY VERY LEGIT Scoring winger (Jagr) and our Sandpaper (Avery). Not giving up hope, but this team was a hard hitting defenseman away from a cup last season. Now we're all over the place.

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